Model Minority: Justin Kim


So I didn’t even know America’s Next Top Model was still on, nor that it now features MALE models. ASIAN. MALE. MODELS. Feast yo peepers on Justin Kim (by stalking his Insta @seoulful_j) and his impossible jawline…and praise be to Ty Ty for keeping the ANTM cycle going for 22 flippin’ years — although C’MON it really shouldn’t have taken almost a quarter of a century to get a male Asian American model on the show.

Christ, I still remember the first season. And that makes me feel old and sad. But this makes me feel better:


Tats, chains, and chesticles, Oh My!

Plus he reps Korea and AZN Pryde hard and wants to shatter stereotypes by showing America that Asian men are tall and hot and really really really ridiculously good looking and hot and also hot. What a good Samaritan, that Justin Kim!

Screen Shot 2015-08-19 at 10.40.01 PMTime for me to start clearing my calendar Thursdays at 8pm. Screw Shark Tank. I want Hunk (in a) Tank!  Ugh. Sorry…here’s a palate cleanser:




Racially Diverse Emojis, Now with Oriental Yellow!

True, emojis have been sorely lacking in the melanin department, and even borderline racist (the only current “ethnic” emojis are a dude with some sort of turban-thing, a guy with a mandarin cap, and one wearing a cossack hat)…so having the option to add pigment is definitely positive (as well as same sex couples and families).

Screen Shot 2015-02-25 at 10.33.57 AMBut Gawddamn, why the Asian emoji gotta be so YELLOW? Like, not even a tawny, golden, mellow-yellow hue…but fluorescent HI-LITER, jaundiced Hep C (shoutout to Puj D!), Pantone Yellow 108. Dude straight up looks like Pac-Man.

Screen Shot 2015-02-25 at 10.34.16 AMApple countered by saying the yellow tone is intended to be “ethnically neutral” and apparently there’s a precedent for it this “default, non-ethnic” color (more on that here). Yeah ok, that may make sense in techie-speak, but this attempt at multicultural inclusion seems ridiculously naive and wack in the face of social and racial reality…sound familiar, tech industry? Oh, the irony.

Screen Shot 2015-02-25 at 10.47.35 AMvia HuffPo

*Thanks to Puj & Noms for the emojinspiration

Gwen Defends Harajuku Girls

Gwen-Stefani-5-The-Harajuku-Girls2Gwen & Katy Perry must be BFFs or have the same publicist or image coach or something, because the delusion runs equally thick with these two. Throw Madonna in there and you got the Grand Trifecta of Asian-appropriating white women (with Avril Lavigne clutching at their coattails).

When recently asked by TIME Magazine if she regretted her whole “Harajuku Girls” fetish phase from 2004, Gwen gave a resounding:

“No…. For me, everything that I did with the Harajuku Girls was just a pure compliment and being a fan. You can’t be a fan of somebody else? Or another culture? Of course you can. Of course you can celebrate other cultures. That’s what Japanese culture and American culture have done. It’s like I say in the song [“Harajuku Girls”]: it’s a ping-pong match. We do something American, they take it and they flip it and make it so Japanese and so cool. And we take it back and go, “Whoa, that’s so cool!” That’s so beautiful. It’s a beautiful thing in the world, how our cultures come together. I don’t feel like I did anything but share that love. You can look at it from a negative point of view if you want to, but get off my cloud. Because, seriously, that was all meant out of love.

Oh yes, by “celebrate”, she means: shut up, get in back, and kowtow, sidekicks!

Screen Shot 2014-12-09 at 4.35.59 PMAnd “Get off my cloud”? AHAHAHAAA what foolery. So is she supposed to be an angel or goddess or something? Ridiculous as that sounds, Stefani may have just coined the new catchphrase for self-important pop co-opters (paging Iggy Iggy and Mileyyyyy). Oh, but it gets better:

“…They were dancers that were cast, but they became real. One girl was a Japanese girl that grew up in L.A., and she got to hang around with three different Japanese girls that were from different places in Japan and had different backgrounds. They became best friends, and she got to go to Japan and see her heritage and see how we are all the same.”

Because they weren’t real people to begin with, just mute, cutesy pets yeah? And Gwen’s basically saying, “YOU’RE WELCOME, HJG #3” and taking credit for helping one of her props dancers wake up and smell the matcha and connect with her Supaaa Kawaiiii peeeoopleessss.

But really this is not surprising, coming from someone with a long and illustrious bindi-wearing, “Indian Princess” cosplaying, Ska-appropriating history. And I almost ralphed when Gwen “BUKK BUKK BBUKK!!!”-ed through Anita Antoinette’s Bob Marley audition on The Voice. Ugh, take a seat and turn it back around.

via Dlisted

What Did Jeremy Lin Do?

Ever since JLin and the Lin family rolled to the Leavey Center for a Broncos v. Crimson game in 2010, AzN has been in full blown Linsanity mode. So for all you JLin fans out there who aren’t necessarily Laker fans (#DubNation represent) I will be conveniently posting JLin stat lines after every Laker game (0-5 and off to a great start y’all!) on the Asian American sports blog: Peep BCB for some summaries of the best JLin games, but stick with Dat Winning for up-to-date stat lines cause we can’t be a 24/7 Jeremy Lin Show.

Also, thanks to High Expectations Father who kindly volunteered to give us a quote after each performance (to be honest, I didn’t ask, but my mom called me the other day and was like “High Expectations Father wants to talk to you!” so I drove out to the suburbs and, well, you know what happened next).

Thanks all! And remember, as Jeremy says, Jesus loves you! Unless you’re JR Smith, in which case, no one loves you.

Getting By With a Little Help From The Colonel

I know I’m totes mcgotes tardy to the party on this one, but I couldn’t let it go without BCB paying the proper homage this woman deserves.

After getting dumped by her boyfriend, Tan Shen of Chengdu, China steered her ass into the closest KFC for some chicken wings and “time to think,” and parked it there. For a week. And not any ol’ roadside KFC; but the KFC at the TRAIN STATION.

Many of us tend to eat our feelings come rain (or let’s be honest, shine); few of us have the balls to reach deep, deep down and nom the pain away on such a profound level.

Dealin' with feelins. Like a BAWSE.

Dealin’ with Feelins. Like a BAWSE.

After 7 days, when the pesky media started butting in on her party of alone, Tan Shen, “decided the best thing to do would be to leave the city and go back to my parents. I had already told work I was off sick, so phoned them and said I was leaving. And I was getting sick of the taste of chicken so there was no point in staying there anymore.”

Her heart may be broken, but spoken like a true pragmatist!

If we all focused less on coddling our butthurt egos, and more on intensive, raw, unabashed self-care like Tan does, we’d probably be a lot better off and get the healing and closure we needed instead of a never-ending, torturous vortex of analyzing old emails, obsessing over Twitter feeds, stalking Facebook updates, googling image searches, poring over 10-year-old Snapfish albums every other day, driving by their new apartment under cover of night, and…what?

After this impressive undertaking, Tan better have a line of beaus waiting to sweep her off her feet and into the next Sizzler. Can a sister get an upgrade?!

BCB salutes you, Tan Shen! Doing breakups right — and proving there’s nothing a little time and a lot of fried chicken can’t fix.

via Huffpo & Dlisted

BCB Movie Review: Revenge of the Green Dragons

Over the weekend I finally convinced myself to fork out $9.99 (highway robbery!) to watch Revenge of the Green Dragons on DirectTV, to follow-up on our Trailer Parkin’ post, and also because: AZNs. With mullets.

While the trailer looked promising, especially since it’s directed by Andrew Lau of the glorious Infernal Affairs… I found Revenge of the Green Dragons kinda meh…mixed with a little huh? and a healthy dose of blue balls (on my part).

Ergo, to this last point, the ROTGD trailer promised some steamy AZN-on-AZN rooftop sex scenes. Behold:

Screen Shot 2014-09-29 at 4.25.04 PMHowever, these scenes were absent in the actual film; instead we got some tepid, PG-rated fully-clothed kiddie smooches:

kissBOO I say, BOO! For WHY were the smex scenes taken out, leaving us with CRUMBS? Do they think AMERICA CAN’T HANDLE IT?!? Again, since every single ad for 21 & Over schticked up Justin Chon in a brassiere and teddy bear merkin, than I better damn well see him get it in in ROTGfrigginD. False advertising! Injustice!

ROTGD was also kind of a mess, messaging-wise. It seemed to attempt several bold statements on “illegal immigration”, racism, and the promise and hypocrisy of the American Dream, but I couldn’t quite figure out what those statements were. It was incoherent at best, and came off borderline anti-immigrant at worst: fear the invading, violent, money-crazed yellow hordes!

Madame snake head, who makes her riches off trafficking and exploiting Chinese immigrants, dramatically pronounces “It’s what this country’s built on…the American Dream!” A Chinese cop (played by MC Jin. Hell YAS) admonishes a white colleague for the fuzz’s disregard for brown lives (gee, so much has changed). “Also — fun fact! — did you know there are lots of Chinese languages, officer? Cantonese, Shanghainese, Fukienese…Hello? Are you listening to meeee…….” Jin should have just launched into “Learn Chinese” and then peeled off on the back of DMX’s bike screaming the Ruff Ryders Anthem (seriously, somebody hire me as a screenwriter). Similarly, the Green Dragons make a point to only kill each other — never Gwai-los — in order to fly under the enforcement radar (except the one time they smoke a white guy bitching out a restaurant owner about MSG in his food. Very satisfying).

At times, ROTGD came off as an exploitation flick, what with the slow-mo rape scene and beating the shit out of little kids in cringe-inducingly creative ways. It doesn’t leave much sympathy for any of the characters and makes every single Asian dude except the protagonist look like scum of the earth. But, I’m willing to overlook alla that cuz, matching  jackets!

There’s also some magnificently cornball lines like, “There’s a storm coming detective, I don’t know of any umbrella that’s gonna keep this city dry. Umbrella-ella-ella.” (Sike. But I wish).

However, there were some bright spots — Kevin Wu aka KevJumba of YouTube fame — surprisingly gave the strongest performance — with a close runner up to his perm-mullet, which deserves its own Oscar nom:

kevhairThe classic ‘do, seen on such folks as Tuan Anh, my uncle, and probably your uncle too. This hairstyle is a national treasure and should be counted amongst the greatest contributions immigrants have made to this country.

Other hair wins go to Leonard Wu as Chen I Chung, who is obviously a dead ringer for Down-Lo Mein from Notorious MSG. Yo D-Lo, bitch stole your look! Also, why aren’t you returning my DMs?!

Don't ask how long it took me to make this.

                                      Don’t even ask how much time I spent making this.

Finally, and most importantly, Harry Shum Jr. didn’t take his shirt off. Even once. I am VERY disappoint. I had to console myself by googling Tony Leung pics.

So, I don’t think ROTGD is a serious contender to dethrone Better Luck Tomorrow by any stretch, but it’s still pretty remarkable in terms of a plot that centers around an Asian American narrative and it’s all-Asian lead cast. Worth checking out for the tats n gats alone.