CAPE Soiree: Two Sulus!!!

Tonight! Coalition of Asian Pacifics in Entertainment (CAPE), a nonprofit diversity org whose mission is to advance diversity and cross-cultural awareness in entertainment, will be holding its glamorous, star-studded 2010 Soiree in Los Angeles.

With celebs like Amy Hill, Carrie Ann Inaba, Aaron Yoo, Ken Jeong (honoree), and many more folks you’ve probably slobbered over on google images and wished you were half as witty and attractive as.

And — GET THIS! — there will be not one, but TWO SULUS at the Soiree! That’s right, John Cho AND the legendary George Takei will be there. How is so much awesomeness possible?! Will a wrinkle in time form or a wormhole or some shit if they’re in a room at the same time?!? Go find out for yourself, and get ready to get your tractor beams blown. More info here.

December 2nd

6:30 to 11 pm

The Vibiana

214 S. Main St, Los Angeles

Blacktie Optional/Cocktail

$75-95; tickets here

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BCB Holiday Wish List

Holidaze are just around the corner, and that means, in keeping with blog tradition, and because no one asked for it, we present our BCB wish list, for all your gifting and re-gifting needs! By reading this, you also agree to the terms that you are morally obligated to make good on any one of these items should you ever meet us. Gimme!

1. Asian Male Calendars
Hotcha! This coming year, there’s even more foxylicious calendars to choose from: The Asian Men Redefined and the Asian Pacific Male calendars. And even better! Your shameless lustfuless will go towards a good cause. Asian Men Redefined will donate a portion of proceeds to the API Wellness Center — the oldest and largest nonprofit in North America focusing on sexual health and HIV/AIDS in A&PI communities. The APM Calendar (which features Yul Kwon) will give 100% of the production profits to the Asian Pacific Health Care Venture, a non-profit community health center that provides low cost medicine to the working poor and uninsured in over ten languages. Purchase APM here and Asian Men Redefined here. Dayum, if Mr. March were a president he’d be Baberaham Lincoln.

2. Red Cliff DVD (4 hour version)

Sweet Jesus how CBruhs loves her some epic period pieces. The ponytails, the swordfights, the capes — the glamour!! And Little Tony. Ooh! and Takeshi Kaneshiro. And looong movies that serve as a diversion from this pitiful, dreary existence. The longer the better. Released in the US this year, Red Cliff was only 2.5 hours long, while the original Asia release (and the most expensive Asian-financed film to date) is over four hours of unabridged glory. So someone better call up they uncle in HK or go down to Canal and Centre and score one from the dvdvdvdvdvdvdvd ladies. Plus it’s directed by John “Hard Boiled” Woo, and…do you really need another reason?

3. Sound Kapital: Beijing’s Music Underground


Du Wei of Overdose

Put this one on your list for that emo cousin obsessed with derivative, formulaic, crap white boy angst bands. Published by Brooklyn’s powerHouse Books and photographed by Matthew Niederhauser, Sound Kapital captures the innovative musical underground of Beijing. From hardcore to glam to bagpipe-accented punk, this counterculture often expresses dissatisfaction — and sometimes downright antagonism — with the rapidly shifting urban environment and the government. The pics of these individuals and bands are riveting, raw, refreshing, and each and every one of them looks like a complete badass. Comes with an amazing mix CD of the bands featured in the book, like Queen Sea Big Shark (who recently went on a US tour), Subs, and Carsick Cars. Listening to these bands feels like listening to rock in the mid-’90s. The tracks are earnest, innovative, unfiltered — and, far from a mere imitation of western styles — distinctly original. Buy here.

Not only can you read some of Alpha’s best posts from back in the day, but a portion of the proceeds benefit one of the following non-profits of your choosing:
5. Sulu Star Trek Action Figure
Cause who the heck DOESN’T want a fully posable, miniature John Cho? You can stuff his face with burgers, you can make him smoke from a mini pipe, you can have other Asian action figures murder him in a Barbie Malibu Fullerton Dream House, or you can have him make out with a Black Barbie doll. The point is, you can have John Cho all to yourself this Christmas. Just don’t dress him up like a chef.

6. Star Wars x Adidas Collabo

What Luke wore while flying low through the Death Star in his X-Wing and a Darth Vader Hoodie (just add mask).

As if AZN needed more Star Wars gear in his closet, Adidas decides to do a collabo with Star Wars. There’s a line of shoes inspired by AT-AT’s, Yoda, Stormtroopers and Darth Vader. Apparel to match as well. Sneaka freaks and Star Wars geeks alike, check out all the picts at sneakerfreaks.com. Thanks ePanda!

John Cho in ABC’s FlashForward

This really is strange. No joke, but I, for some strange reason, always had this idea for a movie starring Joseph Fiennes as a British Secret Service agent being sent to Hong Kong and working with Chow Yun Fat during the 1997 turnover. It was going to be a serious action movie. So when I heard from JipShady, esq that John Cho was going to be in a new show, I went damn. And when I found out it was a cop show opposite Joseph Fiennes, I shat in my pants.

And when I found out Gabrielle Union was going to play John Cho’s love interest in the show?

buddytv_dead_3576_flash_forward_zoey_demetri

Are you kidding me? I needed adult diapers. AND I need to complete that long unfinished blog post I’ve had in my head about Asian guys and African American chicks…

NSFW: Sulu from This Ain’t Star Trek XXX Probably Not Getting Any @$$

Come on! I saw the trailer for Hustler’s new Star Trek spoof NROP (backwards) called This Ain’t Star Trek XXX (like they can’t get sued over this) and I just KNEW my boy Sulu wasn’t going to be getting any action in it. COME ON!

I might have to do some "research" and watch this film to see if Sulu gets any Sasha Grey Vulcan ass.

I might have to do some "research" and watch this film to see if Sulu gets any Sasha Grey Vulcan ass.

He’s in ONE scene in the trailer and Kirk, Spock, Khan and even Bones get action but Sulu don’t? What gives! Damn you Hustler. I’m gonna DL this now instead of driving over to that spot on Telegraph Ave in Oakland with no windows and neon lights to buy the DVD.

If you dare to watch the “safe for work” trailer from YouTube:

Now with Real Beaming Action!

So I’m not gonna lie to you, I’m pretty damn excited about the May 8 release of Star Trek XI. Seeing John Cho as Sulu is going to be emotional for me. We’re talking the first 10 minutes of Bambi emotional. I’m just sayin’. But the fact that Paramount and Playmates brought back the old school action figure commercials from the 80’s/90’s made me even a little more, umm, excuse me… *sniff* *sniff*… veclempt. Pardon me, I have a lawn chair waiting for me in front of the Toys R Us…

sulu2

Toys (MOM! They're called ACTION FIGURES!), I mean Action Figures come out April 2009 at a TRU near you. Pre-order by clicking on the plastic John Cho.

 

Aaron Yoo- The Rich Man’s John Cho

Aaron Yoo- International Taiwanese Pop Singer/High Rolling BlackJack Player 

 

Aaron Yoo- International Taiwanese Pop Singer/High Rolling BlackJack Player

Yea, I said it. This is what happens when you sequester yourself for a year and a half with JJ Abrams and you don’t cavort around getting paparazzi pictures or show up on the Ellen DeGeneres show cause you’re holed up on a sound stage making Star Trek XI or IX, whichever number it is now depending on whether you count First Contact or whatever, John Cho! Hell yea I’m angry. You know why else I’m angry, cause this guy Aaron Yoo is making freaking good movies that are completely under the radar.  Here’s a quick list: 

Disturbia: Remake of Rear Window (My favorite Hitchcock movie) with Shia LaBeouf reprising Jimmy Stewart’s role and Sarah Roemer (who?) playing Princess Grace Kelly’s character (which is like having Hype Williams replace Alfred Hitchcock as director, but that’s a different blog). Aaron played the aZn best friend, which is pretty typical for Hollywood, but he steals the movie with some of his antics. 

Rocket Science: PURE F’N GENIUS. Have you seen this movie? No? You are no longer my friend. Only true friends of mine have seen this movie (I’m calling out you so-called friends that haven’t seen A Life Aquatic, Infernal Affairs, and State & Main as well). Aaron plays another typical aZn character, the nerd, but come on, this is over the top and meant to be tongue in cheek, right? So don’t get all “Asian-American studies 20b,  Introduction to the Contemporary Issues in the Asian American Communities” on me, aight? Cause he’s not about to reprise a Charlie Chan role, even though he cut his Taiwanese Pop Star hair to steal my 2nd grade bowl haircut:

Watch Rocket Science. Now.

Watch Rocket Science. Now.

21: Yes, we all know that if you read Bringing Down the House, and have ever stepped onto the campus back east, or ever walked by the high roller seats in vegas, you’d see Aaron Yoo-looking fools writing up theorems and doubling down. I agree, Aaron Yoo shouldn’t have been the THIRD lead on a student run Blackjack run of Vegas. The whole team  should have been made up (realistically) of fools that looked like Saudi oil barons, Taiwanese exporters and Bhutanese Princes. But at least we got a yellow brother playing a douchebag with gambling issues on screen, right? That’s progress. 

Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist: Yoo plays a gay guitarist for a band called The Jerkoffs. If that ain’t the opposite of Hollywood typecasting, I will return my Blockbuster card to the nearest store location (which is, ironically, in the Castro). 

and… now… the…. kicker… Aaron Yoo’s next movie?! Labor Pains with Lindsay Lohan. And he plays, what? Her gay bestfriend? Her next door neighbor? The student in math class that helps her with her homework? Her karate shifu? No. HE PLAYS THE WHITE GIRL’S BOYFRIEND. Something that took John Cho two Harold and Kumar movies to do, becomes the main story line for a Hollywood movie.  

And John Cho, if you’re reading this, I’m sorry, these are just jokes, yaddanamean!? You know where I’ll be come May 8, 2009. I got my lawn chair, communicator pin and official Starfleet Academy approved uniform sitting in a box with mothballs in my closet.

John Cho Tribute

Its true, I have a man crush on John Cho. He is everything I am not. Smart, funny, charming and Korean. It all started when I saw him as “Asian guy with wife shopping for a house” in American Beauty. It only went straight up from there when he invented the term MILF in the whitest cast of a Hollywood film, American Pie. He not only came back for the sequels, he curtailed that role with the directors into a TV show where he played Chau, a lovable, yet goofy Vietnamese-American Pho Restaurant owner. A sitcom where the characters sit around and eat Pho rather than drink coffee in a cafe in NYC with no minorities? Which is more realistic? Honestly?

There was a slight dip when I saw you in Better Luck Tomorrow, only because I expected so much more. But Harold and Kumar Go to the White Castle followed by the equally genius of Harold and Kumar Go to Amsterdam sealed the deal. Throw in your role as a chef specializing in seafood in No Reservations, and my mancrush blossomed into full bromance. When I found out the show was going to be cancelled, I was stunned. But when I found out you were leaving the show after a handful of episodes, prior to cancellation, I called FOUL by Hollywood! RACISM! Fire the ONLY Asian cast member why don’t you! Only to eat my words later when I found out you left to develop your OWN tv show with the network. But where are you now? How can you possibly come back from being so high up? Is there anything higher than the stars above? Higher than the sky? The ozone? That weird bluish-blackish area between the earth’s atmosphere and space? Yes. Apparently there is.

There. You did it. Your next movie is STAR FREAKING TREK. The only things I love more than Star Trek are my parents, followed closely by Star Wars. SULU. You’re playing SULU in the year 2009. Sulu didn’t get the girls like Kirk did, and he didn’t get in fights like Scotty. He wasn’t as smart as Spock, and not as funny as Bones, or crazy as Chekov and definitely not as hot as Uhura. But YOU JOHN CHO WILL COMBINE ALL THE GREATEST ELEMENTS OF THE ABOVE CHARACTERS AND STEAL THE MOVIE. F’ Eric Bana, he was the WORST Hulk ever. And who’s Chris Pine and why does he think he can be Kirk? Sylar from Heroes ain’t got nothing on the MILF dude that got Maria at the end of H&KGTW. Simon Pegg? Please. Who even UNDERSTANDS those blokes to even get British humor?

The only faults I see in you John Cho are the following:

1. You graduated from Cal one year too early to meet me. 

2. I never saw the voice over work you did on Kim Possible. 

3. You played a douche on How I Met Your Mother named Jeff Coatsworth (but i like the adopted Korean kid reference. Very socially conscious those writers are). 

But all those faults are just me being picky. Two more things:

1. My love for you is completely brotherly. You are my hyeongje, as I am yours. 

2. Out of all the references above, only one came from IMDB and not from the back of my head. And that was the Kim Possible reference. Does anyone have an AVI of that episode? 

Wait, I just realized I wrote this whole thing without bitchin, as this website was fully intended. I originally wanted to talk about how John Cho was the only Asian-American actor to NOT sell out to make a show or movie (but then I got sidetracked). Cho never had to do any of the following: learn karate (Dustin Nguyen/Kelly Hu), get nekkid (Tia Carrera), play an effeminate straight man (B.D. Wong),  play the best friend that will never get the girl (Nathan Nishiguchi), or play an Asian slave trader or refugee (all the Asians in the movie Crash). Congrats on that John Cho.