Trailer Parkin’: Revenge of the Green Dragons

Sometimes AzN and CBruhs spend a whole day’s worth at work emailing each other back and forth about something random until we both realize we should probably just copy/paste and make it into a blog post. This, as you may have guessed, is one of those times. 

AZN: Did you see this? It looks awesome, but just like Revenge of the Nerds, I was wondering where the original film, The Green Dragons is? Never mind, that kinda sounds like a Chinese fast food chain.

CBRUHS: Wow, that movie could be huge; in terms of Asian repping. Like the next Better Luck Tomorrow. Or it could be really bad, but the fact the director is actually Asian gives me hope that the characters will be portrayed with humanity. Like Justin Chon won’t be wearing a bra and a teddy bear glued to his wiener. Or that kid from Glee will take off his shirt.

AZN: It’s gonna take a lot for me to hop back on the HK cinema train. To keep the analogy going, I’ve long since gotten on the plane and landed in Korea and am now firmly affixed at Seoul Station never to set foot back in HK. Was that clear enough?

CBRUHS: Maybe Scorcese exec producing this movie is his way of paying back the favor of ripping off Infernal Affairs? I hope he pays viewers the favor of making Harry Shum Jr. git nekkid.

1360749946_infernal-affairs-2002-33-gAZN: If I was Wai-Keung Lau and Martin Scorsese wins a GD oscar for MY movie idea and forgot to thank the Infernal Affairs team for sourcing him the original material, then the least he can do is EXECUTIVE produce my movie. Executive producing a movie is the equivalent of a “digital introduction” which is right up there with forwarding a PDF to someone in the work world. And did I say “source”? I meant stole cause every Bostonian I know thinks this was a homegrown Boston crime story and no one knows who Wai-Keung Lau is and what Infernal Affairs 1, 2, and definitely 3 are.

CBRUHS: The trailer kinda made me homesick for my old Chinatown neighborhood (altho this took place in Queens) and is serving up a touch of Notorious MSG realness. I’m a sucker for matching jackets, wifebeaters, and manperms. I once asked an ex-banger friend of mine if they were accepting interns. Wish I was playin’ but I’m not.

AZN: If this movie were made in the ’80s I might be a gangster right now. Instead, I had Dustin Nguyen playing a “Japanese” undercover cop. Worst case scenario this might make Asian American gangsters more known in the mainstream which means breaking down Asian American stereotypes right? Hello? Right? Don’t make me come in there looking for your Bank of A-Mattress.

CBRUHS: Affirmative. Here’s where I say something about throwing off the yoke of the Model Minority Myth and the imperative of broadening AAPI media representation. And Harry Shum Jr.’s chesticles.

revenge-of-the-green-dragons-slice-560x186AZN: I’m just super glad Justin Chon is surviving the Twilight series. If he gets an Oscar nom from this he would be getting rewarded, like Anna Kendrick, for recovering from their “Bella’s BFF crew” role for all three (or was it four?) Twilight films. A feat in itself.

CBRUHS: You know what’s also a feat? Mike Chang’s physique. Is his 12-pack — uh, I mean Revenge of the Green Dragons gonna be screening in 4D??

AZN: **ERROR* Undeliverable mail: Your message did not reach some or all of intended recipients and is being returned to sender.**


White Folks in Uproar Over Bologna

Kate Orlinsky for WSJ

If you’ve ever been out to Flushing Queens, you know that’s where all the glorious Asian shit be. Lamb cumin burgers, pork uteri, underground food stalls, and even more Asian residents and businesses than Manhattan’s Chinatown. In fact, the population of northern Queens over the last decade has swung heavily immigrant and Asian, now at about 50% Asian and 50% white.

According to the Wall Street Journal: “Some non-Asian residents mourn the neighborhood’s transformation, saying it feels like a foreign country. They say the Key Food, which closed in late May, was among the last grocery stores where they could buy Lean Cuisine and deli meats…in a sign of the intensity of these residents’ lobby, elected officials are brokering negotiations with the manager of the Asian store, New York Mart, about what it will stock. Among demands: Boar’s Head bologna, bagels and pet food, for a start….”

Normally in New York (Manhattan and parts of Brooklyn at least), we hear about people of color being priced out of their homes and seeing their businesses replaced by upscale boutiques and restaurants due to gentrification. I certainly see it around Chinatown. Same goes for Harlem, Spanish Harlem, LES, Willyburg, etc. etc. ad nauseum.

I would be temped to throw out a “Ha! How does it feel, white people?!” here, but I think this particular situation is different, especially in terms of class. Your everyday Boar’s Head & Entenmann’s eatin’, four-decades livin’, old school Queens white person who isn’t tech-savvy enough to order from FreshDirect is an entirely different breed than your upper-middle class, transplanted fauxhemian, condo-buying yipster.

I’m hoping that community members like Assemblywoman Grace Meng and local business owners can help bridge the gap and ease racial tensions. It does appear that Asian business owners in Flushing are taking these residents’ concerns into consideration, with mixed reception over things like translating signs into English. But the consideration needs to go both ways, with respect rather than racially-coded resentment and demands coming from white residents.

Nothing seems to hit closer to home and inspire more outrage than losing access to your soulfoods, and I believe it’s a right to be able to eat your cultural fare, whether it’s char siu bao or deli meats. Y’know, Asian folks like cold cuts too y’all — let the fatty pork and bánh mì đặc biệt be the first steps towards racial harmony!

Thanks Princess Char Char of the land of Zane!

via Gawker and WSJ

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Wow, you speak really good English. Where are you from?

Cashier: Wow, you speak really good English. Where are you from?

Hipster Asian dude: I’m from Tokyo and I’ve been taking classes since I was three so I’m really articulate and speak great English.

Cashier: Really?

Hipster Asian dude: Fuck no. I’m from Queens.