Gwen Defends Harajuku Girls

Gwen-Stefani-5-The-Harajuku-Girls2Gwen & Katy Perry must be BFFs or have the same publicist or image coach or something, because the delusion runs equally thick with these two. Throw Madonna in there and you got the Grand Trifecta of Asian-appropriating white women (with Avril Lavigne clutching at their coattails).

When recently asked by TIME Magazine if she regretted her whole “Harajuku Girls” fetish phase from 2004, Gwen gave a resounding:

“No…. For me, everything that I did with the Harajuku Girls was just a pure compliment and being a fan. You can’t be a fan of somebody else? Or another culture? Of course you can. Of course you can celebrate other cultures. That’s what Japanese culture and American culture have done. It’s like I say in the song [“Harajuku Girls”]: it’s a ping-pong match. We do something American, they take it and they flip it and make it so Japanese and so cool. And we take it back and go, “Whoa, that’s so cool!” That’s so beautiful. It’s a beautiful thing in the world, how our cultures come together. I don’t feel like I did anything but share that love. You can look at it from a negative point of view if you want to, but get off my cloud. Because, seriously, that was all meant out of love.

Oh yes, by “celebrate”, she means: shut up, get in back, and kowtow, sidekicks!

Screen Shot 2014-12-09 at 4.35.59 PMAnd “Get off my cloud”? AHAHAHAAA what foolery. So is she supposed to be an angel or goddess or something? Ridiculous as that sounds, Stefani may have just coined the new catchphrase for self-important pop co-opters (paging Iggy Iggy and Mileyyyyy). Oh, but it gets better:

“…They were dancers that were cast, but they became real. One girl was a Japanese girl that grew up in L.A., and she got to hang around with three different Japanese girls that were from different places in Japan and had different backgrounds. They became best friends, and she got to go to Japan and see her heritage and see how we are all the same.”

Because they weren’t real people to begin with, just mute, cutesy pets yeah? And Gwen’s basically saying, “YOU’RE WELCOME, HJG #3” and taking credit for helping one of her props dancers wake up and smell the matcha and connect with her Supaaa Kawaiiii peeeoopleessss.

But really this is not surprising, coming from someone with a long and illustrious bindi-wearing, “Indian Princess” cosplaying, Ska-appropriating history. And I almost ralphed when Gwen “BUKK BUKK BBUKK!!!”-ed through Anita Antoinette’s Bob Marley audition on The Voice. Ugh, take a seat and turn it back around.

via Dlisted

Toby Keith Pulls a Miley Cyrus

Another day, another “country” music singer pulling a “chink eye”. Taking a page out of the Miley Cyrus book on how to alienate your Asian fans, Toby Keith (I have no idea who this is, I don’t listen to the three C’s of music: Classic Rock, Classical, and Country), decided to pull a “chink eye” during Will Smith’s rendition of Rapper’s Delight. During the line: “See, I am Wonder Mike and I’d like to say hello. To the black, to the white, the red, and the brown, the purple and yellow”, Toby did this (timed perfectly with the word “Yellow”):

Toby Keith pulling his eyes back as Will Smith thinks, "Oh SHIT!"

The worst part is this concert looked like it was SUPPOSE to be bringing races together, Black folks into hip hop and White folks into country. It was a concert for the freaking NOBEL PEACE Prize for F sake! For a President that grew up in HAWAII AND INDONESIA! Except Toby’s idea of bringing folks together doesn’t include Asians. Come on, you could IGNORE US at the very LEAST! Better that than pulling out the ole “chink eyes”. Also great is Toby Keith’s rep, probably a cousin/uncle (the slash is meant to imply “and”, not “either/or”), in reply to the gesture said: “nobody at the party thought Toby was out of line.”

Oh that’s great! If they didn’t think it was out of line, maybe we should fly Will Smith and Toby Keith straight from Norway to the Miss China pageant this year and redo the whole concert, word for word, gesture by gesture! Lovely! And peep the comments on HuffPo (I thought those folks were suppose to be  liberal/progressives?).

Check out the whole video, Toby Keith ruins Rapper’s Delight around 0:24:

Guess What Rhymes with Bo?

You guessed it…join me, gentle readers, in welcoming the newest addition to BCB’s Top Hoebags List: Bo Dietl!

Last week, appearing on Don Imus’ radio show (red flag #1), Fox News regular (red flag #2), attacked Katie Couric with all sorts of sexist and racist fuckery. First: “She looks like a Halloween cartoon. She’s got her eyes pulled so far, she’s starting to look Chinese herself. Enough with these face lifts, alright Kate.”  And no reference to “Chinese” eyes would be complete without the accompanying eye pull.

Dietl later remarked that Couric’s eyes are “getting smaller and smaller….Ten years ago, she looked American. Today she is an oriental.”

Vodpod videos no longer available.
And today Bo, you are a sleazy, sweaty, mouth-breathing walrus stuffed into a cheap suit. You can’t polish a turd, Dietl. Looks like this one and lil’ Miley Cyrus were cut from the same, shit-fer-brains cloth. 
The Organization of Chinese Americans (OCA) released a statement criticizing Dietl for his offensive behavior. They’re encouraging folks to send a letter of objection to: Roger Ailes, President of Fox News Channel, at 1211 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10036.
Congratulations Bo Dietl!!! Welcome to the muthaluvin’ Hoebag List, hoebag.

Miley Cyrus Likes Coldplay More Than Radiohead. What About You?

So we’ve been picking on Miley since the whole Chinky Eyes thing, and we’re gonna keep on doing it. After she dissed on Radiohead because they dissed on her, apparently, she had a grand ole time with Coldplay to make up for it. And if there’s one thing I know about both those groups and their fans, its that fans of either group aren’t too keen on the other. If you like the operatic, ballardy, falsetto voice of Chris Martin foolishly running in circles and pounding on a piano while jumping around doing a rain dance, you sure as hell ain’t going for Thom Yorke molesting a microphone while Radiohead is playing on a stage that resembles the inside of an android’s womb. 

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Jamie Foxx vs. Miley Cyrus

Granted, Jamie Foxx may have gone a bit far by saying that Miley Cyrus should “grow up,” make a sex tape and do drugs.  But if there’s anyone that deserves it, its the Chinky-eyed face making, Radiohead bad mouthing, half nude 15-year old celebrity being Miley “my middle name ain’t Ray” Cyrus. What right does Jamie Foxx have for commenting on Miley Cyrus? Does he have the right to clown on her for her singing? I mean, Jamie Foxx has only had 2 Number One songs and a Number One album that went double platinum. But the man must be an idiot right? Oh, he got a full ride to college on a concert piano scholarship? 

But he definitely shouldn’t be dissing Miley on her acting right? What right does he have other than two Academy Award Nominations and one Oscar win?  Fine, he wins on that point too. But come on, he was handed all this on a silver platter, right? Nepotism at its best? Jamie Foxx senior was a famous country singer with millions, no? Oh, he was abandoned as a child and raised by his grandmother in the then segregated Terrell, Texas, home of Betty Brown, everyone’s favorite Asian hating Texas Lawmaker?

In what world do we live in where a man as accomplished as Jamie Foxx has to apologize to a little shitty brat like Miley Cyrus, especially if he’s only saying everything we’re all already thinking. Come on, the man gave us Wanda on In Living Color and auto-tuning in his latest songs, that should give him free passes to diss on the entire cast of Hannah Montana AND Wizards of Waverly Place. And no, I will not admit I watch the Disney Channel from time to time (only all the time).

Hipster Racism Alert!: Slanties Eyewear

Dear hipsters of Willyburg, Bushwick, Silverlake, Wicker Park, the Mission, Lake Merritt and any recently-gentrified area:

slanty1

This shit is not cute.

Re: your avante new eyewear brand Slanties: I dunno where you got the idea that being a knee-jerk progressive on the “cutting edge” of design, homeless fashion, and noise (y’know, the arts that are so today) somehow makes you exempt from being as racist as any slur-spitting redneck. (more pics here)

In fact, you’re worse than the average redneck, because you operate under the illusion that you are radically forward-thinking, and therefore immune to criticism and incapable of perpetuating such ordinary, outmoded -ISMs . At least hicks are honest and explicit in their bigotry.

And you have the AUDACITY to charge $75 clams for this booshit. Which is no biggie for most of your kind, as you’ll regularly drop trust funds on $80 ratty vintage tees and $250 distressed skinny jeans to achieve that particular Derelict! look.

Well BCB be callin you out. You are just frat boys in a different uniform. Conformist, obnoxious, privileged, pretentious douchebags.  If you’re so clever, how about you manufacture some big red fake lips, call them “Sambos” , and skip around with those in your chops through the South Bronx.  Same principle.

Practicing “ironic” racism doesn’t make it less racist.  So walk the talk, beat up a ching chong outside your local “dive” bar, and get over yourselves.

Got your own example of Hipster Racism? Drop us a tip, or let us know if you wanna contribute your own post. And if you’re a hipster, don’t pull some Miley shit by leaving a comment that your Asian girlfriend or “best friend” is cool with these.

Radiohead Leaves Hannah Montana High and Dry

One more reason why I heart Thom Yorke. So much that, during a college acting course (shutup), while all the other students imitated easily guessable pop tarts like Backstreet Boys and Britney for a class exercise, I chose to flail and thrash around during the excruciatingly long intro to Idioteque in homage to the man, in front of 20+ befuddled whitehatters.

And I would do it again, in a heartbeat. Because Thom and Radiohead never fail to dole out verbal beatdowns to puny delusional mortals.

For instance! At the Grammys, when Miley Cyrus found out the band’s dressing room was four doors down, Miss ChinkyEyes immediately texted all her friends bragging that she had met “her rock gods.” Then she had her manager request a meeting with them. To which Radiohead replied: “Yeah, we don’t really do that.”

ACCESS DE-NIED, baby heffa!!! Radiohead does not suffer Fake Plastic tweens gladly (zing! C’mon).

Hoors shall not pass

Hoors masquerading as wholesome teenyboppers shall not pass.

But wait, it gets better: For Miley it was Knives Out (eh? eh?). She left before Radiohead’s performance, and whined during a precocious little tantrum on the airwaves that she was “gonna ruin them…I’m gonna tell everyone.”

Stinkin' meanie Radioheads! I (Disney PR)'ll show you!

Stinkin' meanie Radioheads! I (Disney PR)'ll show you!

To which Yorke cooly replied: “When Miley grows up, she’ll learn not to have such a sense of entitlement.”

AHAHAAAHAAHAAA Cyrus just got skooled!!! Although I doubt she’ll ever get too big for those privileged britches. For reals, what an assbrat. Miley –  ruin Radiohead?! Who’ve been putting out visionary and mindblowing records since she was sucking on her silver pacifier?

News flash hillbillstress – the only thing your lame rants do is make you look even more ridiculous and irrelevant. Ooh, you’re gonna tell EVERYbody? Like, the whooole entire Seaview High? Even Mr. Cornelly? Miley you’re sooo bad, I would just die! Are you and the Jonas Bros like gonna get together and boycott one of the greatest bands of all time, who’ve been nominated for over 38 music awards? Well, Radiohead’s never won the Kid’s or Teen’s Choice Awards, cuz they’re like wicked old! And when that boogerhead Thom asks you to junior prom next year, you’ll be all like NO WAY! LOSER! and then he’ll really be sorry.

Understandably, Radiohead did not want to turn their dressing room into an Idioteque (Haaooo! Hello?) And while it makes my bowels churn to learn that that overgrown Bratz doll and I like(d) the same band, it makes me cackle like an old drag queen to know that Thom delivered such an exquisite Let Down. Everything is In Its Right Place. Hi-five! Anyone?