Trailer Parkin’: Revenge of the Green Dragons

Sometimes AzN and CBruhs spend a whole day’s worth at work emailing each other back and forth about something random until we both realize we should probably just copy/paste and make it into a blog post. This, as you may have guessed, is one of those times. 

AZN: Did you see this? It looks awesome, but just like Revenge of the Nerds, I was wondering where the original film, The Green Dragons is? Never mind, that kinda sounds like a Chinese fast food chain.

CBRUHS: Wow, that movie could be huge; in terms of Asian repping. Like the next Better Luck Tomorrow. Or it could be really bad, but the fact the director is actually Asian gives me hope that the characters will be portrayed with humanity. Like Justin Chon won’t be wearing a bra and a teddy bear glued to his wiener. Or that kid from Glee will take off his shirt.

AZN: It’s gonna take a lot for me to hop back on the HK cinema train. To keep the analogy going, I’ve long since gotten on the plane and landed in Korea and am now firmly affixed at Seoul Station never to set foot back in HK. Was that clear enough?

CBRUHS: Maybe Scorcese exec producing this movie is his way of paying back the favor of ripping off Infernal Affairs? I hope he pays viewers the favor of making Harry Shum Jr. git nekkid.

1360749946_infernal-affairs-2002-33-gAZN: If I was Wai-Keung Lau and Martin Scorsese wins a GD oscar for MY movie idea and forgot to thank the Infernal Affairs team for sourcing him the original material, then the least he can do is EXECUTIVE produce my movie. Executive producing a movie is the equivalent of a “digital introduction” which is right up there with forwarding a PDF to someone in the work world. And did I say “source”? I meant stole cause every Bostonian I know thinks this was a homegrown Boston crime story and no one knows who Wai-Keung Lau is and what Infernal Affairs 1, 2, and definitely 3 are.

CBRUHS: The trailer kinda made me homesick for my old Chinatown neighborhood (altho this took place in Queens) and is serving up a touch of Notorious MSG realness. I’m a sucker for matching jackets, wifebeaters, and manperms. I once asked an ex-banger friend of mine if they were accepting interns. Wish I was playin’ but I’m not.

AZN: If this movie were made in the ’80s I might be a gangster right now. Instead, I had Dustin Nguyen playing a “Japanese” undercover cop. Worst case scenario this might make Asian American gangsters more known in the mainstream which means breaking down Asian American stereotypes right? Hello? Right? Don’t make me come in there looking for your Bank of A-Mattress.

CBRUHS: Affirmative. Here’s where I say something about throwing off the yoke of the Model Minority Myth and the imperative of broadening AAPI media representation. And Harry Shum Jr.’s chesticles.

revenge-of-the-green-dragons-slice-560x186AZN: I’m just super glad Justin Chon is surviving the Twilight series. If he gets an Oscar nom from this he would be getting rewarded, like Anna Kendrick, for recovering from their “Bella’s BFF crew” role for all three (or was it four?) Twilight films. A feat in itself.

CBRUHS: You know what’s also a feat? Mike Chang’s physique. Is his 12-pack — uh, I mean Revenge of the Green Dragons gonna be screening in 4D??

AZN: **ERROR* Undeliverable mail: Your message did not reach some or all of intended recipients and is being returned to sender.**

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ThrilLIN’: My First Knicks Game

It’s hard to believe that during the 5 years I lived in NY, I never saw the Knicks (not really, I’m the worst person to take to a sports performance. Er, sports show? Game, I mean sports game). But I finally had a big reason to go yesterday, and I’ll tell you what…all this hullaballoo about Jeremy Lin is called LINSANITY for a reason. And it wasn’t just Asians or my shameless butt going Linsane at Madison Square Garden last night.

Spot the CREED sign.

For real y’all, MSG was packed. The crowd was waving giant Jeremy heads, chanting “We Want Jeremy!”, rocking the 17 Jersey, and screaming “MVP!” in the streets. The knockoff Lin shirts being sold out of a duffel bag on 7th Ave were fought over like Tickle Me Elmos on Christmas Eve. A guy on the 6 train gushed that he had touched Jeremy…and I slooowlllly reached my fingertips out to his, E.T. style, as his girlfriend cut her eyes at me.

One of my favorite side effects of LINSANITY is the bumper crop of clever puns, written on countless homemade signs and displayed on the JumboTron. Some of my favorites:

“Every Day I’m HustleLin”

“Lin Yo Face”

“Lin be IlLin”

“Lin ‘Sync”

“Lincredible”

“To Linfinity and Beyond!”

“Lin-ternational Sensei-tion” (RACIST)

Although I was in section Pluto, row No Hopes of Ever Catching a Freebie From the T-shirt Cannon —  with the wizardry of an iPhone camera coupled with a pair of binoculars, I was able to capture the following JLin action shots:

YOU’RE WELCOME! I know it’s just basketball, but for me and many others, it feels like so much more. I can’t think of another time folks were so kray and ecstatic over an Asian American, and to see Lin’s face on display and hear his name shouted by thousands felt extraordinary (if overdue) on a visceral level. It felt like history was being made.

Thanks Vu for the last sign!

INTERPRETATIONS Film Contest + Panel

Filmmaker Justin Lin, and the other good folks from You Offend Me You Offend My Family (YOMYOMF), have launched the INTERPRETATIONS Shorts Film Contest to encourage budding APA filmmakers to challenge themselves while getting exposure to industry pros. And no! entry! fee! Deadline is September 1. More info on the contest here.

YOMYOMF will also host a special panel at Asian Cinevision’s 33rd Annual NY Asian American International Film Festival this Saturday, to present the commissioned INTERPRETATIONS short films and host a discussion about the art and business of filmmaking. Moderated by the excellent writer Jennifer 8. Lee, with panelists including Ken Leung (Sucker Free City, Shanghai Kiss). Wooot! More info on the panel here.

INTERPRETATIONS PANEL

Saturday July 17th at 5 pm

Clearview Chelsea Cinema

260 West 23rd Street
B/t 7th and 8th Ave, New York

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Justin Lin Likes F’N with Me

Seriously Justin, you play with my feelings like she-who-shall-not-be-named an ex-girlfriend. You make Better Luck Tomorrow which started out great, but rabbit-holes into some crazy shit (AND you kill John Cho). Then you take hold of my favorite movie franchise to hate/love, Fast & the Furious, and actually make it tongue-in-cheek better. So what’s next? More indie Asian American films that’ll play only in Seattle, SF, LA, and NY? Or more commercial fare that’ll probably be crap/good and include random Sung Kang cameos? No, you decide to direct a TV show. Not just any show, but the best new show on the telly, NBC’s Community. You direct just two, and they happen to be the best two episodes of that show. Ever. But then you get nominated for an NAACP image award for the Halloween special. True, the reason why is mostly acting and writing, as you can tell from these clips from those episodes:

Interpretive Dance
Introduction to Statistics

but directing’s got something to do with it, no? And let’s not get into you casting BcB favorite Dustin Nguyen in Finishing the Game…

(quick sidenote: Does anyone else find it coincidental that Lauren Stamile, the Statistics teacher, is only in two Community episodes so far, both of which directed by Justin Lin, and was on Off-Centre with John Cho while Justin Lin directed John Cho in Better Luck Tomorrow???)

But now this. Just when I thought you couldn’t be beat. HIGHLANDER. GOD DAMN FREAKIN’ MUTHAFN’ HIGHLANDER. The smell of the VHS of Highlander is still fresh in my mind. The cover to Highlander II: The Quickening is still imprinted into my brain. And well, but the time Highlander III: The Sorcerer came out,  I was already hooked, despite the shitty TV show adaptation. Justin Lin, you are directing Highlander, and the only equivalent shock and awe and awesomeness I can compare this to is when I found out John Cho was gonna be Sulu in Star Trek. Yea, I said it.

So good luck Justin. And no, I’ll save the THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE LINE for another post when the movie comes out. I just ask you one thing. Sung Kang, long hair, long sword, not just a cameo, but a real role, a live forever role where he can kick ass for a full 2 hours before maybe getting his head chopped off. Nobly of course. Thanks, I’d appreciate it.

There can only be one ... Sung Kang in every Justin Lin movie.

Dear Dustin,

 

Vietnamese Jesus on the left.

Vietnamese Jesus on the left.

You were there in the 80s, side by side with my boy Johnny Depp and my first (of many) crushes on an African American actress, Holly Robinson. You fought crime, took down drug dealers and protected our public (and sometimes private) school system for 5 glorious seasons (did I just include the Richard Grieco years?). But best of all, you had several flashback episodes that gave many of us Viets the first of many cinematic stories of the Vietnamese refugee experiences that didn’t invole the American soldiers’ point of view. In hindsight, the character you portrayed was ahead of its time, and there still arguably isn’t a Vietnamese American role on TV that has been as significant in its portrayal of a Vietnamese male since then (sorry John Cho, Chau owned a PHO RESTAURANT in Off-Centre, revolutionary in Hollywood standards but it ain’t helping my people). Although I still can’t remember why your name was Harry Truman Ioki on the show, although I’d have to rewatch episode 11 of Season Two, Christmas in Saigon, to refresh my memory on how Vinh Van Tran became Officer H.T. Ioki.

I stuck by you through SeaQuest (yes, I was a SeaQuest fan. I couldn’t sit around and watch ST:TNG all day now, could I?) but I let you go when V.I.P. came around. You even hooked up with a white woman on the big screen, and not just any white woman, Oscar winning Cate f’n Blanchett from the great film ever conceived by man. At some point you learned karate (or is it kung fu?), and sorta embraced the action film persona, while still mocking it (Justin Lin’s Finishing the Game) and doing it Vietnamese indie film style:

But for us fans, we all know that all we are is Dustin Nguyen:

Thank you Dustin. For the past 20 odd years of your stardom. Here’s to another 20 years. And thanks Anh Xuan, this was the greatest day in AzNHeartThrob’s life:

 

The Brothers Nguyen

The Brothers Nguyen