What Did Jeremy Lin Do?

Linsanity
Ever since JLin and the Lin family rolled to the Leavey Center for a Broncos v. Crimson game in 2010, AzN has been in full blown Linsanity mode. So for all you JLin fans out there who aren’t necessarily Laker fans (#DubNation represent) I will be conveniently posting JLin stat lines after every Laker game (0-5 and off to a great start y’all!) on the Asian American sports blog: datwinning.com. Peep BCB for some summaries of the best JLin games, but stick with Dat Winning for up-to-date stat lines cause we can’t be a 24/7 Jeremy Lin Show.

Also, thanks to High Expectations Father who kindly volunteered to give us a quote after each performance (to be honest, I didn’t ask, but my mom called me the other day and was like “High Expectations Father wants to talk to you!” so I drove out to the suburbs and, well, you know what happened next).

Thanks all! And remember, as Jeremy says, Jesus loves you! Unless you’re JR Smith, in which case, no one loves you.

Jeremy Lin Schools John Wall

I know its the D-League, but when you’re the 1st Pick in the First Round of this year’s NBA draft (John Wall) and you get p0wned by the Chinese Crimson Knight, you know Jeremy Lin deserves to play in the pros. Damn Warriors, his hometown team, passed up on signing him only to see the Mavs swoop!

Ballers with Randoms

Although we’ve all switched to Facebook for our photo collections (how else can I tag friends making bad life decisions in public?), Flickr remains a great photo networking site cause you can collect other folk’s photos into one collection and share. Then you get something like Ballers with Randoms, a collection of basketball players taking candid photos with random women (not my words, theirs). There are gems like Channy Frye, 6’11”, and jump-suited to go with a women who might be considered a wood nymph in The Shire, if not for the fake UGGs:

I don't get the boombox fanny pack. But I want.

And of course, you can’t call us an Asian American blog without a pict of an awkward Asian bball player (Wang Zhizhi) doing his duties as an NBA spokesperson and posing with Heat cheerleaders at an event (unless he just accidentally wore the same Heat shirt as two random girls).

Wasn't this picture in Vice Magazine's Don't list as well?

So peep the site, and check out everything from the creepy (Pau Gasol looking drunk with a Sydney muscle T), to the strange (Gary Payton crooning to a wide eyed AzN girl), to the adorable (Dwight Howard going to prom with a cute AzN girl), to the regrettable (Chris Duhon giving lapdances).

Thanks to RyRy for this one.

Why (most) Americans Will Never Like Hockey

I fucking hate hockey. It has nothing to do with communism or Canada or the low scores, like how most Americans feel (have you ever seen a pitching dual in baseball, America?!). I just feel it is the least socially and economically accessible sport there is. You need pads, helmet, skates, puck, stick, an ice rink and 9 other people that can afford the same. Its probably $2000 just to get on the ice prepared for a pick up game. And that’s not even including a ref cause icing and off sides ain’t something you can self regulate like backcourts and double dribbles. It also has nothing and everything to do with race. Cause kids in the projects or kids with immigrant parents don’t have any opportunity to send their kids in to get fitted with hockey equipment and training.

 

When I think of a hockey team called the Dragons, i think of a team that looks like this. Including Ronald Weasley taking some time off his Quidditch team to play hockey (second from the right).

When I think of a hockey team called the Dragons, i think of a team that looks like this. Including Ronald Weasley taking some time off his Quidditch team to play hockey (second from the right).

 

Compare this to basketball, and you got yourself a huge discrepancy. If you dont believe me, go to a Warriors game in Oakland then go to a Sharks game in San Jose. In Oakland, I’m one among thousands of blacks, whites, browns, and yellows. At a sharks game, I’m the ONLY PERSON of color. I literally could not find a token Asian or Mexican kid. Have you ever been the token minority in a group the size of thousands before? In the f’n Bay of all places? If you wanna be, head straight to the club level bar behind section 101 at the Shark Tank. You won’t even find that one little 1st generation Asian kid that grew up in Los Gatos and doesn’t have any Asian friends cause he didn’t grow up around any. 

 

And this is why I’m an Obamaniac. Cause our President balls, and people in his cabinet ball:

 

  • Arne Duncan, Center. Secretary of Education. Harvard and Australian Pro.
  • Eric Holder, Guard. Attorney General. Queens native. NYC Stuyvesant High School, Columbia University. 
  • Susan Rice, Guard. United Nations Ambassador. National Cathedral. 
  • James Jones, Forward. National Security Advisor. Georgetown. 
  • Reggie Love, Obama’s Body Guard. Duke University National Champion, 2001. 
  • Barack Obama, guard. Punahou High School.  

 

 

Its the only sport you can play a whole game by yourself, in your backyard, at midnight (which was my saving grace as an only child). Its the only sport you can show up in any neighborhood court in the WORLD with a pair of tattered Jordan’s and an NCAA bball and play with 1, 3, or even 9 other like-minded individuals. Or play by yourself in between plays of a 5 on 5 game you complete loser.

 

Hockey is for those that can afford it. And my America can’t.

 

The Yao Show

China Cult of Celebrity

Great Wall of China, Air China, Red Dragon, or some other cliched nickname...

Yao Ming, please. You’re killing me. First, you don’t pull a Kobe and stick to your guns to get “drafted” by a team that has a nice large population of Asian-Americans (I’m looking at you Clippers, Lakers, Knicks, Nets, and my beloved, yet lowly, Golden State Warriors). So you end up in Houston. A city with a significant Asian-American population, but not known as a Metropolitan city with a eclectic and worldly mix of Asian-Americans, unless you count the 3 different types of Vietnamese dialects that live there. If you played at Staples weekly, or MSG or the Brooklyn Arena, or even my Oracle Arena, then you’d sell out every game and build an even greater fan base throughout the world. Instead, you play for the largest city in Texas, which is like saying you’re the inmate with the prettiest eyes at Folsom State Prison. But the worst part of it all? When you DO visit the other cities, basketball plays second fiddle to the greatest show on earth: THE VISITING 7’5″ GIANT CHINESE BASKETBALL PLAYER, yao ming.

World's Tallest Man - Bao Xishun - 7'-7"

Not Yao Ming

You’ve become a spectacle. A traveling freak show. Sure, there are true fans of China Basketball that show up with Yao jersies. But when the Rockets come into town, you can be damn sure the home team sells tickets based on the fact that you’re different than the rest of the players:

  • Orlando Magic: “East meets East” night (Eastern player playing against an Eastern Conference team) where they served sushi (What?!), egg rolls and lo mein.
  • Golden State Warriors: Karate exhibition by mostly Non-Asians.
  • Chicago Bulls lion dancing during halftime.

When I was at a Warriors/Rockets game last year, I had to put up with a halftime show that had ALL the following:  lion dances, a karate competition, Chinese acrobats and a Chinese woman throwing bowls from her foot up to her head while on a unicycle. Pretty soon, all the NBA stadiums will run out of ideas and they’ll resort to math competitions and spelling bees during halftime?!
You know what this is like? It’s like selling fried plaintains and having a raggaeton-themed half time show when Puerto Rican national, Carlos Arroyo of the Orlando Magic comes to town or doing a Samba-themed halftime show with capoeira performances when Brazilian Leandro Barbosa of the Suns comes over.

I’m not really sure what you do for a halftime instead (maybe a half court shot competition for a trip to Shanghai?) but if you want Asian-Americans to come watch local games against the Rockets, getting some Asian kids to juggle and karate chop isn’t the answer, I could stay home and see that in the mirror.

Spain, WTF?

 

Awesome!

Awesome!

Yes!

Yes!

Ok, first there was this racist fiasco by Spain’s men and women’s basketball team pulling “chinky eyes” for an ad which took up a full page in the sports daily La Marca, the country’s best-selling newspaper. Amongst the team members is Los Angeles Lakers’ Pau Gasol from the Los Angeles Lakers and Toronto Raptors’ Jose Calderon, who said:  We did it because we thought it was going to be something nice, something with no problem. But somebody wants to talk about it. It is too much of a big deal with you guys…”  You’re right Jose, everyone should just chill out and have a good chuckle over fond memories of schoolyard harassment.  Calderon was also quoted as saying it was “something appropriate and that it would always be interpreted as somewhat loving.” Yes, chinky eyes is a common way to express respect and appreciation for Asian peoples. Thank you, teams of Spain, for extending that warm and delightful gesture of international understanding and compassion.  Let the games begin!

And if that don’t frost your cookies, Gawker has found a pic of the Spanish 2008 Federation Cup Tennis Team gleefully doing the same eye pull — which is on their frickin’ website!  

Still a hoot!

Still a hoot!

Cuz apparently the good ol’ slant eye just never stops being ha-larious. Did they not get the global memo that this shit is offensive? Or do they just not care? This is some racist bullshit that’s beyond ridiculous.  Someone needs to pull their dumb asses from competition. Apparently Spanish sports does not have a good track record when it comes to racial sensitivity- like monkey chants and whistles directed toward black members of England’s soccer team during a 2004 exhibition match. And Spain recently asked China for it’s support to host the next Olympic Games in Madrid?  This deserves a serious BITCH, PUH-LEEZE!!!