White Guy Sings a Vietnamese Song

There are many ways this video creeps me out, including the man’s Bac accent (I thought I was bad, pronouncing my D’s and G’s with too many Z’s). Props to cats like this who learn entire Asian languages in order to … (I’m just gonna throw this one out there and let it fly) … score Asian chicks. There I said it. I assumed it with no proof whatsoever. Good thing I write for this blog and not the NY Times.

Thanks calicalvin007.

The (not-so) Subtle Moves of an Asian Fetishist

Another one of those real life stories. Haystack, CA. Table of 8: 3 South Asians, 2 Koreans, 1 Latino, 1 White Guy, and AzN. Happy Hour. Scene:

South Asian guy’s cured meat plate comes out

Korean Girl 1: Oh My God! I love cured meats!

White guy’s cured meat plate comes out

Korean Girl 1: Oh My God! You got cured meats too!

White Guy: I knew you’d like them. All Asian girls love cured meat.

AzN drops his knife onto his pants.

Korean Girl 1: What?

White Guy: I know what Asian girls like cause I’ve liked Asian girls from since I could remember.

Latino guy stops dranking his drank mid-drank

Korean Girl 1: Oh Mah Gawd! This guy has an Asian Fetish!

White Guy: Yea, I grew up in North Fremont, so I had a lot of Asian friends and I’ve always liked the girls.

Awkward silence from the whole table.

White guy eventually leaves early when he realizes he just offended the entire sub-continent and continent of Asia.

Seriously guys, if you have a fetish, any kind of fetish, don’t mention it to the fetishized. And its great that you’re aware of your fetish, but work on thinking of people as people first, and not as a fetish first. Cause when you start thinking of Asian women as people first, as in the future mother of your children and sister-in-law to your brothers/sisters, then you’ll be on the same playing field. Cause Asian women don’t always walk around in geisha costumes or report the news all sexy. They’re my moms, my aunts, my cousins, and my friends. And when Asian girls aren’t in your MCB class scoring A’s or in line for lattes at the cafe, they’re doing stupid things this and still hot (to Asian guys at least):

asian-girls-so-this-is-your-fetish-huh

Annie Le Strangled by Asian Fetishist? UPDATED

CLARKE HAS JUST BEEN ARRESTED

According to the NY Times, Clarke was just arrested at a Super 8 Motel, wearing a striped polo and khakis withAsian character tattoos swirled around his arms.

The NY Times is sneaky. They pretty much called out person of interest, Raymond Clarke III, in the murder of Annie Le (Asian American Yale PhD student found slain in walls of a research building). The Times was dropping little hints implying the guy’s got crazy murder vibes:

  • drives a Ford Taurus (seriously, would you get into a stranger’s Taurus?)
  • was “unsociable” and “very officious and very demanding”
  • has a roman number following his name
  • “graduated from Branford High School in Branford, Conn., and he appears first in the 2004 yearbook as a member of the Asian Awareness Club. He is photographed next to two women of Asian descent. The club, according to the yearbook, made egg rolls for a faculty luncheon and raised money for a trip to Chinatown for the Chinese New Year in 2004.”

That last one is creeeeppy. Selling eggrolls to go to NY CTown? Those are the types of crazies running around Canal these days? I’m glad I work in the very secretive Oakland Chinatown…

Thanks again A-rex. You can be my full-time news aggregator anytime you want.

Bollywood is the New Hollywood

 

Chandni Chowk to China starring Akshay Kumar and Deepika Padukone. No Joke.

Chandni Chowk to China starring Akshay Kumar and Deepika Padukone. No Joke.

 

If this came from the States, it would have been vilified. But because it came from Bollywood, I think it might get less heat… I’ve been to countries where there aren’t many East Asian people, so when your ass shows up, they expect Jackie Chan karate chops or John Woo gun toting. So I don’t plan on visiting India anytime soon while this movie is out… 

 

Check out the trailer to see how they explain an Indian dude as a karate master. Spoiler Alert: Something about the reincarnation of warrior Liu Sheng! Predictable… 

 

 

On second thought, Hong Kong films have been F’N up South Asian people for years… So maybe its payback???

 

Bollywood dance scenes, karate chopping Indian mercenaries, stealing their hot Bollywood actresses after getting them naked. The Myth (argghhh. Jackie. What a waste of money):

 

 

and of course making South Asians stuff yayo up their asses in Chungking Express: 

 

 

On an unrelated note, why do Asian films always have really dorky protagonists with really really hot girlfriends??!! You spend the whole movie thinking… how the hell?!

19% of Asian-American Men Will Die Alone

 

The 7%.

The 7%.

Maybe that’s just exaggerating… a bit. The numbers came from one of my friends, who did a ridiculous amount of work on the crateandbarrel.com website for some firsthand, guerilla-style researching. Along with Census data from the American Community Survey from 2006. But come on, the Crate and Barrel data is much more revealing because we’re dealing with yuppy/suburban/young/middle-class/well educated Crate and Barrel catalog shopping folks who are Americanized enough to register at C&B instead of assuming their wedding present will come in a little red envelope emblazoned with a dragon wrapped around a pearl.

Back to the data. He sifted through Crate and Barrel gift registry info, which is readily available on the website and categorized marriages between different Asian ethnicities using common names in each category (Kim, Jeong, Park for Koreans; Nguyen and Tran for Vietnamese; Lim, Chen, Lin, Wang for Chinese; etc). He gathered data for 2856 people total, 2141 of whom were categorized as East Asian and 715 who were South Asian. The following percentages indicated the marriage rate outside of the ethnicity:

 

Korean: 24% of women (married a non-Korean) vs. 9% of men

Vietnamese: 41% of women vs. 21% of men

Japanese: 49% of women vs. 28% of men

Chinese: 35% of women vs. 16% of men

Total East Asian: 35% of women vs. 16% of men

South Asian: 19% of women vs. 15% of men

 

The numbers that pop out the most are probably the very low South Asian percentages (which is, in a way, expected), the low Korean numbers (also expected), and the very high Japanese percentages (the most Americanized of all Asian ethnicities). Vietnamese numbers are also very high compared to the East Asian average. I should also note that these numbers are significantly different than the Census numbers which are 20% for women vs. 7% for men, probably due to the demographics of a Crate & Barrel…

But the most intriguing conclusion that he thought of was that if we were to take these numbers and take a sampling of 100 Asian-American women and 100 Asian-American males, of the women, 35 would marrying outside of their ethnicity and 65 would marry in (which would mean 65 Asian-American women would be available to marry an Asian-American male). Of the 100 men, since 16% marry outside, that leaves 84 men ready to marry within, but, wait… there’s only 65 available women, which leaves 19% SOL.

I’m not entirely smart enough to know how these numbers jive with the official Census numbers from 2006:

45% of Asian-American women are married vs. 42% of men.

But theorectically (and empirically) this all makes sense. Especially if you live in the Marina. 

The reasons behind this phenomena is another blog post, and I haven’t had the chance to get that PhD in Ethnic Studies I’ve always wanted, so I’ll leave it for others to explain.   

As an added bonus, if you haven’t seen this video yet, enjoy: 

AzNLoVeR.cOm

 

Dude, get off the white girl's FOOT. You're embarrassing us. And by us I mean ASIA.

Dude, get off the white girl's FOOT. You're embarrassing us. And by us I mean ASIA.

 

Have you guys seen this website, aznlover.com? it advertises itself as:

 

A Site dedicated to celebrating “AM/XF” relationships, romances, appreciation for Asian culture between Asian men and women of any background. Online since 2004, we provide a community between people with similar issues, questions and curiosities, and to foster interaction between females of all races and Asian males. 

 

but why do I keep mistaking it for the www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com website? 

 

Are these two randoms dressed up as China Chow and Julian McMahon for Halloween?

Are these two randoms dressed up as China Chow and Julian McMahon for Halloween?