Kickstart the Eastern Addition!

The masterminds behind Poleng Lounge, The Summit SF, SOM, and the WoW Truck bring you a pop-up series that will feature unheralded chefs cooking some amazing Asian dishes in the Western Addition at Vinyl Cafe. That was a long-winded way to just say check out the Eastern Addition, if only for the witty name (get it? Eastern tastes in the Western Addition?).

Kickstart the campaign here: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/easternaddition/the-eastern-addition

A Southeast Asian’s Guide to the 30th CAAM Film Festival

For all my SEA brothers and sisters out there looking to support some movies during the Center for Asian American Media’s film festival going on from March 8-18, I have my top 3 picked out for your convenience. One is about BcB favorite Anh Joseph Cao’s journey from getting elected to the House, repping NOLA, and heading up to DC. The appropriately named Mr. Cao Goes to Washington. The second is a b-boy movie called Among B-Boys (you know BcB likes them b-boys and b-girls) about the intersection between the Hmong community and the world of b-boying. Seriously, is there any other topic better than that? The last is The Crumbles, a movie about an indie rock band that includes, without exaggeration, one of the most beautiful Vietnamese American actresses I have ever seen, Teresa Michelle Lee.

Peep the trailers here:

Mr. Cao Goes to Washington:

Among B-Boys:

The Crumbles:

 

Race and Jeremy Lin: A Compilation of the Best Articles This Month

There are a lot of Jeremy Lin articles out there. And by a lot, I mean A LOT. I was going to write about how we’ve followed his game from the Harvard v Santa Clara U match up with his parents all wearing We Believe shirts sitting in front row and the whole arena (which seats 2 people) chanting “Over-rated” to the time we saw his first play in a Warriors uniform (2 steals!). But instead, I decided to take all the articles I found the most relevant and interesting and wrap them up Christmas Eve-style for your viewing pleasure. I especially liked the ones sent to me by my friends who do not follow sports. So a few of these go deep into racial theory, which is still very new to me. So read these, and skip all the superfluousness ones about “Chink in the Armor” and enjoy. And if you need a quick primer to the Jeremy Lin Show (or basketball in general), check out this Linfographic and I promise you that will be the one and only Lin Pun I use:

Linfographic: Jeremy Lin’s journey, illustrated

Linsanity: There Goes the Neighborhood by Rembert Browne of Grantland

Asian Men Can Jump by Gish Jen of The New York Times

Will Lin-sanity tame Tiger Moms? by Jeff Yang of The New York Daily News

‘We Don’t Have Anything to Call Our Own Yet’: Jeremy Lin and Narratives of Achievement Among People of Color by Ryan Davis, Negro Sunshine (People of Color Organize)

Why Jeremy Lin Matters: Asian Male Image in the Media by Ky Phong Paul Tran of New America Media

But easily my favorite is the SNL opening last week that pointed out the double standard that the media has enjoyed when it comes to being political correct for African American athletes while totally disregarding Asian American ones. GO SNL: Saturday Night Live.

Sh!t My Asian Dad and Your Asian Dad and Everyone’s Asian Dad Says

The irony of writing this post is that I’m at a random cafe in Cupertino right now and just ran into my friend Craig’s Asian Dad. Said hi to him and he said all kinds of sh!t that you can see in this:

Just how accurate is this? and is the dad Vietnamese or Chinese? Yes, yes, and yes is all I can say.

Asians are Real Humans Too

What is it with Swedes and fetishizing Asians? First it was Lizbeth’s girlfriend in Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and now its Real Human, the Swedish knockoff of NBC’s Beautiful People. We get it, she’s a robot that’ll be great raising kids AND great in bed for pops. BEST lines from the trailer:

Dad: Relax, it can shop, do dishes!
Moms: Its a sex toy!!

(later that night)

Dad: Its past your bedtime, Tobbe.

Classic Swedish cinema. Did I tell you how my friends just came back from Stockholm and were physically accosted everywhere they went for being Asian? YAY SWEDEN!

Stop Bad Hollywood Films Before They Are Conceived

I guess there’s something called The Black List? It rates all the best scripts just optioned by studios to be green lit into Hollywood shit movies.  Why am I talking about this? Cause I think Asian America wasn’t able to react to the Last Samurais and Avatars fast enough to kill the eggs before the chicken hatched (or is it the other way around??). So I propose we start with the scripts! Right when they’re bought by the major Hollywood studios and churned into The Hangover 2. Where to begin… in no particular order, from the 2011 Black List of scripts coming to a big screen near you:

“The Outsider” by Andrew Baldwin

In post-World War II Japan, an American former prisoner of war rises in the yakuza.

(Agency: Creative Artists Agency — Jay Baker, John Garvey, Manager: Anonymous Content — Bard Dorros, David Kanter, Producers: Linson Entertainment for Warner Bros.)

Seriously? Is this going to happen? First it was Dances with Wolves, then it was Last Samurai and then Avatar. And now this? When will Hollywood stop with A-White-Guy-can-do-anything-a-person-of-color-can-do-better story line. I get it. The White man can kill ninjas and mate with their tails better than a yellow/brown/blue person can. But seriously? A P.O.W. becomes a Yakuza? Its even hard for a JAPANESE person to get into the Yakuza. You think the “American” former prisoner is going to be an ABC or a Filipino guy? HELL NO. He’ll be Ryan Gosling. PLUS, I guess this movie has already been made with that dude from The Road.

“Bad Words” by Andrew Dodge

The bastard child of the organizer of the national spelling bee gets his revenge by finding a loophole and attempting to win the bee as an adult, only to find friendship in a young Indian contestant.

(Agency: UTA — Carolyn Sivitz, Manager: Fourth Floor Productions — Jeff Silver, Producers: MXN and Darko Productions)

Can we see our South Asian folks as anything other than spelling bee champs or telecom workers from Outsourced or Outsourced (and how did they make a show AND a movie with the same title and same plot?!). There’s no way this can be better than Rocket Science. Only more racist. Don’t try it. UNLESS the lead character is Chinese or Pakistani. But then Middle American heads will exploded.

“Home by Christmas — Bob Hope in Korea” by Ben Schwartz

Young Larry Gelbart goes on tour with his idol Bob Hope in the middle of the Korean War and learns the true price of heroism.

(Agency: The Nethercott Agency — Gayla Nethercott, Producer: Jon Shestack Productions)

I just want to be an extra in this movie cause somewhere in the San Gabriel Mountains or Temecula will be used as a stand-in for Korea and I want to be there with a bunch of KAs from LA in war uniforms going through bootcamp. Who am I kidding, they’ll be using Filipino and Vietnamese extras too. Watch out for Ryan Gosling in make-up as Bob Hope. Or he can play Larry Gelbert. Or a Korean drill sergeant. Or anything he damn well pleases to play!

“Django Unchained” by Quentin Tarantino

A freed slave named Django is trained as a bounty hunter by a German dentist named Schultz, and the two men set out to find Django’s enslaved wife.

(Agency: WME — Mike Simpson, Producers: Weinstein Co. producing for a co-release between Weinstein and Sony Pictures)

If there’s two things I’ve learned from Quentin Tarantino from everything he’s done lately, its that he likes to exploit Black folks (its OK cause there’s a cool film noir word for these types of movies: Blaxploitation) and he likes killing Germans on screen. As long as he stays away from David Carradine as a karate master and Lucy Liu as a Japanese geisha/ninja, I’m cool with it. Sorry everyone else! Every race of itself!

I’m such a hater. I know. So what movies AM I looking forward to? Peep the following movies. I purposely didn’t include ALL the zombie movies I wanna see cause that’s a whole other post and would be a never-ending blog post.

“Maggie” by John Scott 3

As a “walking dead” virus spreads across the country, a farm family helps their eldest daughter come to terms with her infection as she slowly becomes a flesh-eating zombie.

(Agency: Creative Artists Agency: Billy Hawkins, Dan Rabinow, Manager: Trevor Kaufman, Producer: Pierre-Ange Le Pogam)

One word: Zombies. They’re the new hipster rom-dramedy.

“Flarsky” by Daniel Sterling

A political journalist courts his old babysitter, who is now the secretary of State.

(Agency: UTA — Julien Thuan, Producers: Point Grey Pictures)

What? I just wanna see this cause in 13 words the writer set up a crazy ass plot. Peep Ryan Gosling as the political journalist. With Ashley Judd as the Secretary of State. Or the other way around if you apply the right make-up.

So what have we learned from all this? Hollywood is racist and Ryan Gosling can play anyone anywhere. If he puts his mind into it.