Steven Ho + Conan = One Huge TMNT

So our buddy Steven Ho has been crazy busy raising twins (Congrats!) and apparently ignoring his OG Asian Baby — but he’s BACK on Conan this Thursday and ready to bring the pain….and maybe transform Conan into a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle**.

CONAN-VS-HO

Man vs. Man-sized Turtle….whas gonna happen?!?

This is gonna sound fucked up, but when I was a kid I totally liked TMNT.  Not only “liked” in the sense of being a rabid fan of the cartoon, but like, LIKE liked. I wanted to skip through the sewer together shouting COWABUNGA and fight Krang side-by-shell (my signature weapon would be PoGo Ball) and have dishy, heart-to-heart convos about Shredder’s emotional problems or whatever an 8-year-old thinks love is. I had the hots for Leonardo specifically. He was the leader but not in an overly alpha, douchey way. As for April…I wasn’t sure if I hated her or wanted to be her (that dayglo yellow jumpsuit, pow!).

Soooooo that right there is the special place that TMNT has in my heart — and I am releasing that creepy anecdote out into the universe so it doesn’t hold power over me anymore. YOU DON’T HAVE TURTLE POWER OVER ME ANYMORE, LEO!

Don’t you dare miss Steven Ho and a very special 6’4” red pompadour-ed Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle this Thursday night!

Hawt.

**For which Steven is especially qualified: he played Donatello in both Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III, son!!

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Friday Fuckery: Angry Birds on the Needle?

If you are a child of the ’70s and ’80s, you may remember the psychedelic and slightly freakish Serendipity Book Series, written by Stephen Cosgrove and illustrated by Robin James. That was some real hippie shit. With over 60 books, popular characters included Flutterby the insecure unicorn, Serendipity the soul-searching pink lochness monster thing, and Muffin Muncher (too easy).

In 1974, the world was introduced to a huge, hairy orange blob…The Wheedle on the Needle:

Unlike the other sweet, vulnerable characters, Wheedle was one grumpy bitch:

Wheedle is a large, round, furry creature who lived in the Northwest. Bothered by the whistling of workers first settling the city of Seattle, the creature was unable to sleep and became irritable, eventually moving to Mount Rainier to escape the noise. The Wheedle slept there peacefully for many years, his red nose blinking, until the region’s growth brought people- and their whistling- to his doorstep once again. In an effort to silence the noise, the Wheedle gathered clouds in a large sack atop Mt. Rainier, returned to Seattle, climbed atop the Space Needle, and threw them into the sky to make it rain. With their lips wet from precipitation, the city’s residents were unable to whistle, and the creature once again had some peace and quiet.

So basically, Wheedle was responsible for Seattle’s shitty weather, and a hardcore environmentalist railing against the encroach of urban development. Wheedle also basically summed up the philosophy of Seattlelites: We’re glad you like it here. Now please get the hell out.

Shortly after the book’s publication, Wheedlemania was in full effect, and the Seattle SuperSonics employed Wheedle’s curmudgeony ass as a mascot during the championship era of 1978–1985. Wheedle also became a mascot for local news station KOMO-TV in 1993.

Sweet moves, Wheed!

Terrifying.

In 2004, the compilation Wheedle’s Groove: Seattle’s Finest in Funk and Soul 1965-75 was released, and currently a group of musicians from these original bands perform under the name Wheedle’s Groove.

But has the Wheedle’s position as Seattle icon and cranky king of The Needle been overthrown….by Angry Birds? Earlier this week, to promote the launch of the Angry Birds Space game, the Space Needle was turned into a 300-foot tall slingshot, brought to you by T-Mobile and Rovio.

photo: Rod Mar via Rovio

The only thing I know about Angry Birds is that it’s insanely popular, I suck at it, and I have a memory of being manhandled by a grown ass dude wearing an oversized Angry Birds t-shirt (unfortunate yet appropriate attire).

I’m not sure where Wheedle is right now, but this pretty much exemplifies his whole gripe with society.  I hope he’s out breaking off a chunk of Mt. Rainier to clamber up The Needle and pop that stupid ass bird with.

Wheedle 4EVA, son!

More enthralling Wheedle history here.

Friday Fuckery: For the Love of Newsies

A preview of the much-anticipated Broadway production of Newsies recently aired on Good Morning America...and there’s an Asian dude, who gets considerable stage time! (Apparently there was a mixed Asian actor in the original movie — Kevin Alexander Stea — who played “Swifty the Rake”. I wish people still had names like that).

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Newsies has a special place in American musical history, and in the hearts of many ladies of…a certain age. While many girls migrated to New York in the ’00s chasing Sex And The City fever dreams, me and my best buds were hitching our wagons to a brighter star: Newsies. We knew the words to every song and had no hesitation busting out a multi-part “King of New York” on the 6 train or screaming out “The Delancey Bwuddas!” when approaching the Lower East Side.

We shopped voraciously for newsboy caps and dessed as a gang of Newsies for Halloween — on multiple occasions — including that one year in Boston I spotted the one other guy at the bar also dressed as a Newsie and was convinced we were soul mates until his girlfriend the sexy nurse crippled me with her death stare. My Newsie friends were there to soothe my broken heart by whispering: Well, dat’s da foist thing ya gotta learn – headlines don’t sell papes. Newsies sell papes.

Which is why, even if I feel nothing could ever measure up to the original, I still plan to shell out a ridiculous amount of money to see grown ass men in short pants twirl around on papes. Especially that Asian newsie with the juicy butt.

For SooJooBa and Char Char (who recognized Kevin Alexander Stea as a Madonna dance captain and cast member of Naked Guys Singing. Yowza!)

Hey bummas, we’se got work to do!
Since when did you become me mudda?

Check out Jezebel‘s excellent take on Newsies here.

Adam WarRock X Downton Abbey = Bloomers Blown

Nerdcore rapper Adam WarRock — aka Eugene Ahn — flows about comic books, sci-fi (he made a mixtape inspired by Joss Whedon’s Firefly), and most recently — British TV series Downton Abbey.

Downton Abbey is my meth. My favorite activity as of late (besides unnecessarily inserting terms like “as of late” into conversation) is to chin-palm and daydream about The Dowager Countess’ wicked quips, Cousin Matthew and Lady Mary’s incestuous sexual tension, and how delightfully bitchy those three sisters are to each other. I have stayed inside on Saturday nights in New York City to watch bootleg DA episodes on a grainy, stuttering stream on my laptop. I’m not generally into shows about romance ‘n’ junk, but I AM a huge sucker for period dramas, old-timey wardrobes, and repressed feelings.

So in response to this rap, I have to say to Adam WarRock: THANK YOU EVER SO MUCH M’LORD, for bringing together the wonderful worlds of hip hop and WWI-era British society’s class tensions and fading traditions of the aristocratic landed gentry.

Some of my fave lyrics include:

I GOT A BLACK HEART LIKE MARY, LADY — STAY WEARY!

AND I LEAVE EM LIKE PAMUK IF THESE RAPPERS TRY TO QUIBBLE.

Mid-Autumn Angry Birds

Happy Moon Festival! If you’ll be celebrating by holding your own private mooncake-eating contest (I’m trying to beat my personal best of 5 mooncakes a minute) — and you also happen to be a mobile gamer, you might appreciate throwin down with these new “Angry Birds” mooncakes.

Then you can update your Angry Birds app with the version made especially for the mid-Autumn Fest — developed by Finnish-based Rovio Entertainment:

I never got into this notoriously addictive game because of a complete lack of hand-eye coordination, and I’m not clear on what Queue and rice paddy hats have to do with the Moon Festival.  But I do hope the Angry Birds mooncakes come with the egg yolk inside. Seems doubly appropriate.

Source: CNNGo

Thanks Char!

Friday Fuckery: Stop Motion Ryu vs Ken

Holy crap, this stop motion video is pretty phenomenal, not to mention the buttload of hours, precision, and patience it must have taken John Huang aka “counter656” to create. And here’s my old ass still trying to figure out how post a video on facebook from my iPhone. Sigh. And not to be a spoiler, but GO RYU!

SHIN Kuuu!! Sure beats the hell out of Robot Chicken. Can’t wait for the Chun Li version!

via Buzzfeed

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CAPE Soiree: Two Sulus!!!

Tonight! Coalition of Asian Pacifics in Entertainment (CAPE), a nonprofit diversity org whose mission is to advance diversity and cross-cultural awareness in entertainment, will be holding its glamorous, star-studded 2010 Soiree in Los Angeles.

With celebs like Amy Hill, Carrie Ann Inaba, Aaron Yoo, Ken Jeong (honoree), and many more folks you’ve probably slobbered over on google images and wished you were half as witty and attractive as.

And — GET THIS! — there will be not one, but TWO SULUS at the Soiree! That’s right, John Cho AND the legendary George Takei will be there. How is so much awesomeness possible?! Will a wrinkle in time form or a wormhole or some shit if they’re in a room at the same time?!? Go find out for yourself, and get ready to get your tractor beams blown. More info here.

December 2nd

6:30 to 11 pm

The Vibiana

214 S. Main St, Los Angeles

Blacktie Optional/Cocktail

$75-95; tickets here

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