Here’s One Way to Win Ben Stein’s Money

bensteinWell, this be bizarre. And random. Also, ick nast. Who knew Ben Stein had such a thing for goldiggin’ “Eurasian” pregnant performance artists? Who wanted to know? Who wants to un-know it? *raises both hands*

Apparently Ben Stein first met 24yo former escort Tanya Ma at SFO, and they struck up a borderline (for those with zero boundaries) creepo relationship that started with texts, then some Snapchat-type content (y’all know what I’m talking about), progressed to Tonya asking for some monies to support her baby-to-be…and then quickly went south (shocker) after they agreed to meet in a hotel *but* Stein revealed he wanted to do gross old man stuff to her like hug and kiss her preggo body-ody-ody. LINE. CROSSED. In his defense, quoth Ben: “When is it wrong to hug people?” …..?…??…..

If you are a dirty masochist or a goldigger-in-training or now an even bigger Ben Stein fan (for shame), you can read more sordid details here.

I just know I’ll never be able to hear the words “Bueller….Bueller?” in the same way again…

Via Page Six & Dlisted

Pussy Paddler Makes Poons Pop (It’s Not What You Think)

No, really, it's iiterally a pussy boat. And a fun alliteration.

No, really, it’s literally a pussy kayak. And a fun alliteration.

Holy Hoo-Ha, talk about dedication to one’s craft!

Japanese artist Megumi Igarashi —  aka Rokudenashiko — has demonstrated an uncompromising, steadfast commitment to chocha art — to the extent that her latest endeavor has landed her right in the clink!

Rokudenashiko started down the glorious pussy path when, feeling something was “abnormal” with her own fla-fla, she underwent vaginal “rejuvination” surgery. Afterwards, she felt “disconnected” from her remodeled cooter and turned her energy towards spreading the sweet gospel of poon acceptance through her artistic creations — which includes jewelry, an iPhone case, and her latest project: gliding around in a kayak modeled after her very own ladyparts — which promptly got her arrested under Japan’s obscenity laws. Well, should have better been choosing one form here http://kayaklife.co.uk.

Rokudenashiko’s stated goal is to make “pussy more casual and pop” (if your brains have been living in the gutter like mine, you probably had to re-read that sentence a few times to get what she meant, because the first place your mind went to was that line from “My Neck, My Back”).

Given that rates of cosmetic vaginal surgery keep rising (a survey by the American Academy of Cosmetic Surgery projected there were over 53,000 vag rejuvenations performed by all U.S. physicians in 2009. Among AACS members alone, there was an increase of more than 50 percent in 2008) — which reflects how fucked up society’s perceptions and projections are around “normal” or desirable goddess-given gonads (I blame straight porn) — Rokudenashiko is doing the lord’s work, IMHO. Paddling her “peach on the beach” is obscene?!? Butchering one’s box to look like Barbie’s no-no zone is obscene!!! Rokudenashiko is out of order?!? YOU’RE OUT OF ORDER!! THEY’RE ALL OUT OF ORDER!!!

Ahem…Talk about Pussy Power. I bet Drake’s song was totally about Rokudenashiko (or it should have been).

pussykayakAlso really feeling the kayak color choice….perhaps a Rokudenashiko X Yellow Peril collab is in order?

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Check out the petition calling for Rokudenashiko’s release, which has amassed over 20,000 signatures.

via Dlisted and HuffPo.