Happy New Year! (Courtesy of R. Kelly)

BCB wishes all y’all readers a prosperous Year of the Snake — filled with happiness, good fortune, and ssssssmexinessss. And who better to embody this last quality than Sir R. Kelly himself:

A perfect New Year’s ditty to sing ’round the banquet table with your family and loved ones.

Gung Hay Faht Choy! 恭喜發財! Chúc Mừng Năm Mới!

Thanks MY and AZNHeartthrob!

Buckwheat Groats: “Swag Like a Douchebag Racist”

I’ve never heard of these assclowns “Buckwheat Groats” — but their video “Swag Like An Asian” definitely takes the cake for most racist, misogynistic, douchebagtastic, Yelloxploitation brick of turd I’ve seen in a hot minute. All in one fell swoop.

I can’t even watch this more than once because the lyrics and images make me wanna choke their fugly mugs with their own fur coats and rip the chunky one’s face pubes out with my bare hands and feed it to him. From the “Asian bitches” sucking on his diamond dick chain, to lines like: “put some nuts on your girl that’s my kung pao chickenhead”, there’s just so much to rage at.

No thanks white boys, y’all ain’t cute and you can keep your back-handed, fetishistic Asian “tribute”. And sorry, but a laundry list of pan-Asian stereotypes does not a good rap video make. The ability to wrap your ignant minds around that is some #SWAG you’ll never have.

And we’ve said it before and we’ll say again: HIPSTER RACISM IS STILL RACISM!!!

via Angry Asian Man

A Treasured (Big Gay Chinese) Wedding

chinese-gay wedding

I don’t usually get super emotional at weddings (except over the bounty of booze and food), but these newlyweds are giving me life! Shove off, William and Kate, you’ve been upstaged for Wedding of the Millenium by Big Treasure and Little Treasure.

A retired history teacher and a water delivery man who met while the latter was bringing water to the former, the couple married in front of 12,000 online Weibo supporters — many of whom I’m guessing they garnered after a video of them singing a karaoke love song to each other went viral. The couple were moved by the Hong Kong gay rights organization Big Love Alliance to come out and shout their love from the rooftops and into karaoke mics.

If I was at this wedding I’d be ferociously banging my chopsticks on my plate, making countless Hennessy toasts, and blubbering like an hormonal pageant queen.

chinagayweddingshots

And it wouldn’t be a gay old wedding without some shade: commenting on a son’s refusal to attend, “It’s disappointing that outsiders can bless us but not our own son. The heartless child is sabotaging our happiness.” BOOM, you thankless party poopin’ black-hearted assbrat!

While same-sex marriage is not recognized in China, the couple declared on Weibo: “We won’t part till we die. We will strive to be together no matter how hard and painful it is.”

From the groom’s adorable crooked bowtie, to the groom’s red roses bouquet quinceañera eleganza, to the arm-in-arm shots, the key word here is TREASURE.

Wishing Mr. & Mr. Treasure Deep Love, Long Life, and Double Happiness!

via Dlisted and Queerty