Dear Olivia Munn

Dear Olivia Munn,

This is your last chance. Yes, you are very very pretty. And I’m a big fan of how you were able to manipulate maneuver your way into every fanboy’s heart by way of Maxim Magazine covers and pretty much everything (Olivia Munn eats a hot dog). I mean everything (Olivia Munn does the Truffle Shuffle). And everything (Olivia Munn jumps into a pie in a French maid outfit) you’ve done on G4’s Attack of the Show. But everyone you’ve worked for at G4 hasn’t been your biggest fan (I heard they had a huge party when you left, inside information) and I think people have been realizing you’re not the best actress in the world. BCB recently got an advance copy of Jay Chandrasekhar’s latest film, The Babymakers, and a full review of that might be coming in the future. But the short one would be: “Olivia Munn’s decent acting, coupled with the guy that made Parks and Recs so much better when he left the show (and by the way he doesn’t know what a City Planner does even though he played one on tv) makes The Babymaker’s the second worst Broken Lizard affiliated movie out there as long as they still claim Club Dread as their own”.

Moving on, this letter to Olivia Munn is simple. This is your LAST chance. The great thing about being on an Aaron Sorkin show is you really only need to know how to read. And you know what the best actors on Aaron Sorkin shows know how to do? They know how to read FAST. See: Rob Lowe’s Sam Seaborn, West Wing. See: Matthew Perry as Matt Albie in 60 Studio on the Sunset Strip. See: every scene in Moneyball and The Social Network. So please Olivia, I’m rooting for you. Don’t mess this one up. I forgave you for leaking your n00d photos to Chris Pine cause he’s a fellow Cal grad class of 2002 (GO BEARS!). But I will not forgive you for messing up Newsroom and your career. Good luck.

 

 

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