Friday Fuckery: New Miss Seattle Is ‘Annoyed’ By Seattle

Over the past couple weeks, the recently crowned Miss Seattle — Jean-Sun Hannah Ahn — came under fire for committing the most egregious sin in the eyes of native Seattleites…Complaining about the rain, gawdammit!

Less than a day after Ahn was crowned in March, a story broke about her very un-gracious online activities. Back in December, Jean-Sun had taken to twattering on the Twitter about Seatown’s glorious climate: Tweet No. 1: “Ew I seriously am hating Seattle right now… ” Tweet No. 2: “Take me back to az!!! (Arizona) Ugh can’t stand cold rainy Seattle and the annoying people.”

And the people stage-dived on her like she was a methadone/quad shot cocktail at The Comet Tavern. Ahn has since had to appear on numerous TV and radio shows to apologize for her foolery.

Guurrlll…I know you’re also a former Miss Phoenix and spent your undergrad at Arizona State, but if you’re gonna be Miss 206 you gotta be all: “Chilly and partly overcast drizzle with a 2% chance of sun break followed by moderate showers RYDE OR DIE!!” How you gonna claim allegiance to both the desert and the temperate marine climates? Sorry, but you ain’t no Missy Elliott. And in the words of the great Jimi: Castles made of sand fall into the sea, eventually. Or something.

If Ahn were true Seattle royalty, she’d just take a triple dosage of vitamin D and sit under a UV lamp, self-medicate in dank bars, and brood over what the point of life is anyway like the rest of us. DEAL WITH IT, GIRLIE. I demand a recount!

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