Hover Hands: How to Avoid the Embarrassment

What’s worse than hanging out with a girl and not knowing if you’re actually on a date? If there comes a time where you need to take a picture with her of course! My trick? I go the extreme and pretend to take a prom picture to cut the awkwardness by a lot a tiny fraction. What else can you do? HOVER HANDS! And how do you HOVER HANDS? Look no further than hoverhands.org where you’ll see a collection of pictures showcasing the wonderful talents of men who are unsure of the level of intimacy afforded to them by their female companions.

Awkward!

Double awkward!

Thanks MAC!

Friday Fuckery: NYPD Arrest Funeral Goods Store Worker for Selling Paper Gucci

Earlier this week, a NYPD officer arrested a shop worker for selling fake Burberry and Gucci handbags. A common enough sight on the streets of New York’s Chinatown (still a waste of taxpayer and policing resources if you ask me)…but in this particular incident, the bag was made of…cardboard. As in, no one is even trying to pretend that it’s real, honey — or even a real fake. It’s like a fake fake. Made of paper, y’all.

             photo by Kirsten Luce for the NYT

The man arrested was Wing Sun Mak, who works at Fook On Sing Funeral supplies on Mulberry Street selling paper “products” for mourners to burn for the dead. Y’know, like the paper money, clothes, cars, and luxury items you may have burned for your own relatives so they may be more comfortable in the afterlife.

pic from Churchgifts.blogspot.com

So about this arrest, I say: Are You Fucking Kidding Me?? This store is located on a block in old Chinatown that’s peppered with Chinese funeral parlor and long-standing funeral-related businesses. This area is it so well known, it’s earned the nickname “funeral row”.

Hey NYPD don’t you have anything better to do? Shouldn’t you know better, given that there’s a police precinct 3 blocks away from this store? Try arresting some rapists and shit instead acting like douchebags and protecting the interests of the wealthy (I’m sure Louis Vitton loses loads of revenue due to cardboard fakes) and harassing indigenous businesses and residents (which unfortunately, has been NYPD’s pattern: see here and here).

District 1 Councilwoman Margaret Chin feels similarly, saying: “You expect the police to be culturally sensitive. This has been going on for hundreds of years, the Chinese burning offerings to the dead, and that’s what these kind of stores are for. It’s hard to understand how someone could mistake this for criminal activity.”

Although I have to say my favorite quote — which perfectly illustrates the fuckery of this whole thing — comes from Suki Lin, the wife of the arrested Mr. Mak:  Lin picked up her own Coach handbag. “It’s real,” she said, a gift from her husband. She motioned toward a cardboard bag and said, “If he gave me that bag, I’d beat him to death.”

Full NYT article here.

Thanks Andrew!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Street Eats Benefit for OneVietNam

What can be more street than eating dinner created by all the best chefs in SF at the Ferry Building for a benefit to raise moola for OneVietNam? I guess this isn’t the best example of being street, but they’ll be slanging street food for this benefit and what better restaurant/chef can do that than Charles Phan from the Slanted Door? Peep this link to see the list of restaurants (of which, Dosa, Hapa Ramen and Nom Nom are BcB approved) and to cop tickets!

BCB Profilin’: Jack Tung

This installment of BCB’s Profilin’ features killer musician “Jack Fucking Tung“. A Bay Area via New York resident, Jack is a one man machine who creates genre and brain-bendin’ electronic/experimental/punk rock music. With an expansive, cinematic sound well-suited to screen, Jack’s also composed for Suite Suite Chinatown and scored the trailer for the 2009 San Francisco International Asian American Film Fest. And as you will read, for a guy from the post-hardcore scene, he has an unexpected yet impeccable taste in music (R. Kelly? I don’t see nuthin’ wrong with that! Heehee).

Jack recently finished his newest phenomenal EP I’ll Be OK, which just became available on Tuesday — for download here. And it’s free. FREE! That’s crazytalk Jack!!

And check out some of my other favorite tracks, such as “Gege”, “Life at Sadowa” and “Buo Buo” here (which were all recorded live. LIVE. Like I said — loco!). If you wanna learn more about Jack, his wide-ranging musical influences, and how he makes the magic happen (hint: involves a ’90s beatbox), check this interview I did with him back in February 2010 for Hyphen.

Greetings, I am…

Jack Tung. I play instrumental music.

I’ve been known to bitch about…

Haters!

My influences are…

Currently Frank Ocean, R. Kelly, ST, Burn, Maxwell, Solange, Off!, Ian MacKaye, family, friends, and good people.

On a Saturday night you can find me….

Eating a piping hot donut at Bob’s Donuts.

On a Tuesday night you can find me…

Composing music until 3am or reading a good book.

My usual drink/poison is….

A hot chocolate with chocolate whip cream or a fresh taro boba.

If I was a superhero my name would be…

Mister Amazingly Delightful.

The last song/album I listened to is…..

Watch The Throne by Jay-Z and Kanye West. It’s kicking my ass right now.

I have a borderline unhealthy obsession with…  

Nutella (on everything), almond croissants, Mexican food, and women with good fashion sense.

Favorite thing to do in SF….

Exploring Fort Funston with rolled-up pants, flip flops and a good playlist.

Free Association time! First word I think of after “Asian America”:

Possibility.

My weapon of choice is….

Eye contact followed by a wink, a charming smile, and a “point-and-shoot” hand signal.

Be sure to check out my…

New EP entitled “I’ll Be OK” (KOA012) which came out August 23rd. It’s free for download at http://jacktung.bandcamp.com

Thanks Jack!

Diana Mao Keeps It Classy

BCB buddy Diano Mao is an all-around superwoman as Co-founder and President of Nomi Network — a non-profit that aims to leverage the marketplace to eradicate sexual slavery, specifically in Cambodia and Asia. You can read more about her awesomeness in our BCB Profilin’ interview here.

Diana just returned to New York from a trip to Cambodia, and she’s been nominated for the Stay Classy Young Non-profit Leader of the Year Award. She’s currently in 13th place, out of an original 2,000 candidates. If Diana wins, she’ll receive $10,000 to support the mission and work of Nomi Network.

You can vote for her here: under the Individual/Group Category, click on “Young Nonprofit Leader of the Year” and vote for Diana Mao (be sure to click Submit!). Voting ends this Friday, August 26th. Take a moment to support this fearless woman and her crucial anti-trafficking work.

 

 

 

 

Friday Fuckery: Nuptials & Zombies

I’ll admit it, I’ve thought about what my wedding photos will look like. Mostly because I’m obsessed with those soft focus, sparkly mantle-sized portraits that you see at every Chinese wedding — and I want that. I want to be wearing a Quinceañera dress and peeking from behind a tree at my betrothed and skipping along a rock trail in the middle of a stream while he holds my hand for balance — all with a Yuen Lui/Glamour Shotz treatment that makes the air look all fuzzy and magical and my teeth hella white.

So these wedding shots of Julian Sunmi Park and Benjamin Jinsuk Lee have really busted my silly little bubble…with AWESOMENESS. Check it:

Yes yes, appropriately and routinely romantical…but WAIT!

BEHIND YOU — EEK LOOK OUT!

GAAAHKKK!

WHAS Gonna Happen?! I’m tellin you, it’s a SAGA. There’s a bunch more photos, which I’m too lazy to upload, so just go here!

I’m a huge fan of The Walking Dead, but I had no idea it would translate so well in a wedding context! Now that my mind has been blown, I understand that there is a bigger, brighter future out there for me in the world of wedding photos. I think RuPaul’s Drag Race might make for an enchanting theme…May the best woman wii-i-iinnnn!

via Buzzfeed

Thanks Char Char!

Kobe Bryant to the Shanxi Zhongyu Brave Dragons

Nothing would please this Warriors fan anymore than hearing the legendary Kobe Bryant might be playing Fall basketball for the Shanxi Zhongyu Brave Dragons of Taiyuan. This, compared to Stephen Curry going back to finish up his degree at Davidson reminds me of how much I love the Warriors and not so much the Lakers. Call it Laker hate if you want. Just remember that if Kobe blows out his knees playing against Yao’s Shanghai Sharks cause those Chinese bball players like to fix games, you know who warned you first.