Friday Fuckery: Forever Lazy

I really take a shine to things with the prefix “forever”:  Forever 21, “Forever Young” (the miraculous Alphaville song, not Rod Stewart, fool) and now, Forever Lazy.

Maybe you’ve also seen these commercials at 3 am after stumbling home with a mild case of the pukies, but the first time I saw Forever Lazy, I fell to my knees in awe and wonderment of the inventiveness of mankind.

Basically it’s an adult onesie + hoodie – footies + butt panel. This Snuggie 2.0 doesn’t get it quite right (what gives, footies are SEPARATE?), but it has my favorite clothing feature of all time: BUTT PANEL. Fuck yes butt panel!  At last, my days of walking around the apartment with a blanket fastened around my shoulders with a banana clip LIKE A DOUCHE are over FOR-EVER!

And it comes in gender-specific colors like sessay “Hanky Pinky Fuschia” and manly “Workday Blues” so you won’t have to worry about turning into a Pit-Pat-like pansexual zero-population-growth blob. Plus it really brings the family together, ‘cuz everyone knows its no fun watching the game or playing with the dog in regular ol’ two piece outfits. That shit is so passe.

And the Forever Lazy isn’t just made for being a worthless shitbag in your own home, you can broadcast to the world how empty you feel inside by showboating it at tailgate parties, football games, heck, even weddings! The possibilities go on foreverrrrrrrr-err -er -er.

As the lady says: “Just slip it in, zip it, and get lazy”. Shudder.

Who’s up for a F(M)L bar crawl? First round of Sour Apple Puckers is on me!

via my boob tube and Buzzfeed

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