Friday Fuckery: Four Loko CGI

I never heard of Four Loko until it was banned, and now I really wanna try it, dangnabit! Too bad it’s now illegal in my home state of WA AND probably in NY state. Christ, looks like I’ll have to travel to Portland (or even worse – Jersey! ) for a fix.

For those of you who, like me, assumed the words “four loko” were the lyrics to a Pitbull song — it’s a fruity-flavored energy drink loaded with up to 12% alcohol (3 times that of beer) and the equivalent of 3 cups of coffee. It’s also gots some extra goodies thrown in, like taurine, guarana, and wormwood (an ingredient in the notorious and noxious absinthe).

Extreeemmme!! But apparently this rager in a can induces blackouts amongst the youths, and has been dubbed “legalized liquid cocaine”, or “the convenient alternative to having to awkwardly ‘hang out’ with your dealer”.  Which has led to local officials’ attempts to ban Four Loko  in bodegas and mini-marts.

But to truly gain an understanding of the kind of crazy-making Four Loko brings to the table, you need…Taiwanese CGI! Huzzah!

I like hijinks just as much as the next pushing-30 gal, but waking up in a cage with a gorilla?! No thank you, those days are over for me. I’m willing to stick to my usual ways of gettin’ hyphy, like staying up past 10 pm, jaywalking, and trying to pet alley cats. Extreeeeeeme!!!

via Buzzfeed

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