Those who know me know full well that BGB is my muthaeffin ANTHEM. It was made so in 1992, when BGB went straight to the top of the charts for five weeks, and at the tender grade of 5th I vowed to do my part to honor and uphold the legacy of Sir Mix throughout all the land.
This song holds a special place deep in the cockles of my heart worthy of a stroll down the aisle to (preferably with the Mack Daddy himself. And that would make me Madame CBruhs-a-Lot. Pretty as a picture, no?).
And anyone who’s been around when the jam drops has witnessed me enter into a fugue state wherein I swipe the nearest mic out of an unsuspecting karaoke singer’s hand or start yelling and pogo-dancing along. I can’t help it. BGB puts a spell on me.
I’m well aware this song is making a comeback, and all sorts of chuckleheads are jumping on the BGB bandwagon. I just watched THIS on the internets:
Ok, I admit it – it’s pretty fun in a totally lame way. The lyrics are clever, like “If you want the triple 6 thrown down, dial 1-800-READS-A-LOT, and teach me about those psalms”, and “She wanna get you saved – like Amen! Double up – A! Men!” and “Ladies! (Yeah?) Ladies! (Yeah?) Do you wanna save people from Hades?”
But honestly?…NO. Weirdly charming as it may be, I shan’t be swayed by some do-gooders from the pure, true message of this song: FILTHY, SINFUL, LUST-FILLED BIG-BUTTED SEXY TIMES! It’s a fucking tribute to the AZZ and the glorious owners of said AZZes and a big F You to beanpole dame beauty standards. Let’s celebrate it!
The BGB music video was briefly banned from MTV for its controversial, sexually explicit lyrics and imagery. But there ain’t nuthin wrong with a little booty…or a whoooole lotta booty! Get with it squares!
So hey Christian Rap — if you wanna be into eh-bay-bay jeezus and all, that’s fine and dandy — but don’t try to co-opt the social and political movement of Biggus Gluteus Appreciatus. We don’t need no savin’. Whup-pow!