Friday Fuckery: Smells Like Tween Bullshit

NOOOOO!!! CAN’T HOLLYWOOD JUST LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE AND STOP FUCKING WITH THE FEW MEANINGFUL THINGS FROM OUR YOUTH?!?

Twilight‘s leading man Robert Pattinson is set to play Kurt Cobain in a forthcoming biopic. The Sun reports that the British actor has landed his “dream role” in the part of the Nirvana frontman.  Pattinson apparently “has always thought of himself as a musician rather than an actor” (ED NOTE: HAHAHAH—uu-BLAAAARR–) and so the role is “ideal for the pin-up” (ED NOTE:—RRRRGGHHH. oh god).

According to The Sun, Courtney Love is working closely with Universal Pictures to bring Kurt Cobain’s story to the big screen. Courtney only agreed to give Universal the rights to Kurt’s story if she got final approval on everything from casting to the script. A source says that Courtney’s first choice to play Kurt is the sparkly vamp and she wants ScarJo to play her. Court has also been talking to David Fincher about directing the movie. The source went on to say, “Robert has been calling and emailing her non-stop. She has been a bit wound up by his manners, but he is her number one choice to play Kurt. She is adamant Scarlett will play her. Scarlett is friendly with Frances Bean, her daughter with Kurt.”

FAIL! FAIL! FAIL! Please let this be wrong. Dave Grohl, Krist Novoselic — can we have an intervention here stat?!

First we had that mopey chick from Twilight and the scary snaggle-butter-teefs girl from Charlotte’s Web (AND New Moon) fucking with The Runaways legacy. Not only has the Twilight army sapped all the good, fun shit out of the vampire genre, but now they’re getting their tween mitts all over our music! And was RPattz even frickin’ born when Nirvana was getting radio play? I’m totally weeping into my Sharpied purple Chucks right now.

Shame on you Courtney, shame. Sometimes I appreciate your particular brand of crazy, but this crosses the line. Please just stick to the Hole reunion tour.

via Dlisted and NME

Advertisements

One thought on “Friday Fuckery: Smells Like Tween Bullshit

  1. This is the decline of Hollywood as we know it. I’ve mentally typecast Robert Pattinson as a sparkly vampire, and–unless he pulls a Daniel Radcliffe with “Equus”–no amount of new movie roles will change my view of his glittery self.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s