Friday Fuckery: Twilight Manllow

What’s up with all these boyfriend pillows lately? Are they like blow-up dolls for women? While we’re at it, let’s combine one unnervingly creepy trend with another: Twi-hards!

Yes, it was only a matter of time before someone invented the Edward Cullen half-man half-pillow “for all the Twlight-crazed lonely women in the world”. Now, if these “manllows” were a bit more LIFE-LIKE (maybe comes with a cotton stuffed dong? What?) and looked a little less like a bleached E.T. mutant lump with a face that your 8-year-old cousin drew on with a Sharpie, it might be slightly less terrifying. Slighty. I know this thing’s probably meant to be a joke, but do you really wanna wake up with that next to your face? What ever happened to just taping the latest poster from Tiger Beat on your pillow?

The perfect boyfriend because he can't punch back. A-yo!

But if this is really the sort of thing that tingles your heart and nether-regions, you’re S.O.L. because this manllow is all sold out. Meaning there’s a bunch of other triflin’ bitches out there that stole your MAN!…llow. Personally, this isn’t the sort of thing I would go for since I’m not exactly “Team Edward”…however if there were an underage, shirtless, melatonin-accurate Taylor Lautner body pillow minus the bad weave…..where did I put that credit card?
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