Slanty’s Seven Predictions for 2010

Slanty of Slant Eye for the Round Eye was kind enuf to lend his wisdom and clairvoyant talents to BCB…prepare to wrap thy brain around his seven predictions for the big Twenty Ten. Start placing your bets now, and I swear to jeebus I had nothing to do with this.

Note: Not actually Slanty's hands.

Slanty’s Seven Predictions For 2010:

  1. Jon Gosselin sheds sixty pounds, enters a Cbruhs “Don’t Be A Douche” Clinic, gets a new reality TV show, and forever after when Cbruhs sees The Goz with another woman she falls to her knees and weeps to herself thinking “Why not me Lord?!!!! Why not me?!!!!!”
  2. Every time this happens she finds a shiny new quarter on the ground next to a stick of gum and always decides that Stride doesn’t actually last that long and that leprechauns should be more careful with their gold.
  3. Sarah Palin inexplicably starts reading (just the comics mind you) joins Fox News, and forever after is known as the lady who gets scared of Asian people.
  4. For a moment I think I become psychic.
  5. Sono Sion teams up with Park Chan-Wook to create a 12 hour epic where a priest turned werewolf takes upskirt videos to avenge his father’s death who’s actually his sister that had a sex change in Iran, with the U.S. remake deftly titled Sono Sion teams up with Park Chan-Wook to create a 12 hour epic where a priest turned werewolf takes upskirt videos to avenge his father’s death who’s actually his sister that had a sex change in Iran.
  6. Much to the chagrin of its teen star Justin Bieber, it lags behind Avatar in total ticket sales.
And my seventh prediction for 2010:
Alone in a dark alley as I’m cupping my balls praying that I can still have children the echos from my attacker screaming at the top of her lungs “I did it for you Jon! I did it for you!” haunt me for months to come…
Lots a love to the Bicoastal Bitchin crew and best of luck in 2010.

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