Friday Fuckery: Health Ed With Red

I’ll admit the American public school system has failed me, in that until very recently I believed human babies’ eyes were closed upon birth (like puppies), and I consider a well-balanced food pyramid to consist of cheese, martini olives (that’s a vegetable!), raisinets, coffee, and pork dumplings – in that order. The only thing I remember from health class is looking at slides of advanced-stage STDs really, reallllly close up (OK, this may be the most effective and only sex ed I’ve ever needed).

Perhaps our Japanese friends can provide a better alternative for educating the youth of today on keeping themselves sound in mind and body:

There’s just. So much. Going on here. Like these Organ Fairies. Usually, dancing with my internal organ fairies happens the morning after I’ve had a bit too much wine & Maker’s — and I feel like they’re screaming at me as opposed to delightfully harmonizing. And does anyone else find it creepy that all the characters have men’s voices, regardless of gender?

Also, I wish a GPS-equipped, Good Cheer Karaoke Car would drive up to my Brain Fairy those days I’m feeling foul. So if you suffer from depression, your brain just needs to “move itself” with a bath or a round of ping pong with a posse of heart-shaped legs. Or, apparently, a strong hit of Ecstasy.

Maybe this is why the Japanese have the longest life expectancy in the world: Take baths! Eat vegetables! Sleep moderately! You’re cured! Cheers, Japanese Red Riding Hood!

via Buzzfeed


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