Friday Fuckery: Chinatown Crunkin’

Chinatown Likka = Hallucinatory Dragon Joyride

Woah dudes! Have you heard of this wicked cool new liquor called “Chinatown”?! It’s insaaane! Now, before you go all: “this low-alcohol content thing is lame!”  — lemme call to your attention the perks, bro!

Number 1: Since it’s only 6.0%, it’s totally kosher to get behind the wheel, AND wear your wraparound shades at night. I dunno about you, but the whole motor skills impairment thing really cramps my style when I’m tryin to tool around town and shout at babes after a night of clubbing.

Number secondly: What “Chinatown” lacks in alcohol content, it makes up for with its special added ingredient: Opium. Hence the rad dragon sidekick that pops up and will float around your delirium-addled head all night just like in those Disney movies, singing merry jingles in a funny Asian/Chris Tucker accent and serving as an excellent wingman for chasing Chinese skirt. That little fucker really comes in handy when you’re tripping balls and can’t tell the difference between a chick and a telephone pole.

Those crazy Orientals! They really know how to bring the party hardy.

via Gawker

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