When I first saw the heading for this entry on Jezebel, I immediately thought: Oh great, another book/seminar/workshop on how to attract Asian chicks by some skeezy bloated white guy or Asian girl with serious internalized racim issues.
But, Surprise! Racism (and the homonymerific English language) is so creative, and totally outmaneuvered my entrenched, stereotypical expectations.
So how DO you draw Asian women? Well, according to Bill Connolly, “cartoonist and artist extraordinaire”, you draw em’ with “some beyoootifuullll eyes…and small nose there….beautiful big full lipsssss…and long silky hair.” Geez Bill, why don’t you just draw yourself with a big boner in there while you’re at it?
Apparently a lot of people have asked this pressing, elusive question that has stumped man since time immemorial. But has anyone asked why Bill’s rendition looks like a wall-eyed 8-year-old drew it with his left hand? And I know he was really going for a portrayal of beeeeyaaaaooooteeefuuuul chinky eyes here, but fer Chrissake, she looks like a Roswell alien in drag who got double-knuckle sammich’ed in the peepers.
Wow, thanks for that, Bill Connolly: Cartoonist, artist, and asshat extraordinaire.