Friday Fuckery: Taser Fun

I was gonna do a fucked up Halloween costume-themed post, but I think we all can identify what this constitutes, plus I already made a reference to it in this month’s racism roundup.

In lieu, I present you with this scary “shocker” (get it! haha!…whut?) of a video. Apparently this kid is missing the part of his brain that regulates the “Good Idea/Not A Good Idea” function.

Happy Halloween! Be safe ya’ll, and leave your tasers at home, unless you’re a lay-dee in a skanky costume. Then you might wanna have it handily tucked in your cleave and set to “stun”.

via Buzzfeed

Advertisements

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson Does White-Face

To the readers of BcB, is it awesome that The Rock gets chosen to voice the lead character of an animated movie even though the astronaut he plays is White? Or are you annoyed that the lead character has to be blond haired/blue-eyed instead of being modeled after The Rock’s African Canadian/Samoan heritage?

Kate Moss’ Oriental TopShop Collection

TopShop: I don’t get it. When the NY store opened this summer in SoHo, a line of eager shoppers wound around the block for days. In terms of quality or style, the clothes are perhaps a marginal cut above what you’d find at H&M or Forever, but several cuts above in terms of price.

When I was living in Scotland about 8 years ago, TopShop was about the cheapest trendy fare out there, meaning I was all up in that bitch blowin’ pounds every Tuesday, Thursday, and Lord’s Day (a cute shirt would run you about $7). I don’t understand why a foray into the American market translates into a 1000% price markup. Maybe it’s got something to do with being endorsed/”designed” by a coked up, scenester supermodel?

katemoss

Which brings me to Kate Moss’ upcoming 2009 Christmas Nightwear Collection, which launches tomorrow. Apparently her overpriced ($57 for a sleep mask? You can’t just use the free one from the Jet Blue redeye?!) nighties and PJs are “inspired” by all things Eastern, meaning pieces labeled “Geisha Rose Print Blouse” and “Oriental Butterfly Print Kimono” ($138).

kimono

Christ, people — it’s almost 2010 — is a multinational design company really still using the word “Oriental”? Yeah yeah, technically it applies to an object and not a person, but is it really necessary to throw in this lame, loaded term at all? Then again, the fashion industry hasn’t exactly been a shining example of cultural sensitivity, with faux Native headresses, African headwraps, and China Doll getups cycling in and out of vogue and runways every other year.

Personally, I feel sleepwear is for sleep, not for lookin’ cute (we Wimmins is expected to look sessay the other 16 hours of the day…c’mon we need a break assholes!), which means an oversized Jabbawockeez tee and holey Garfield boxers from 1994 will do me just fine, thank you.

Thanks Charlie!

October Monthly Racism Round-Up: Dallas and Halloween

Is that a Spanish speaking translator behind him, cause then this picture should also be listed under ironic as well as Dallas is filled with racist fucking rednecks

Is that a Spanish speaking translator behind him, cause then this picture should be listed under "ironic" as well as "Dallas is filled with racist fucking rednecks"

As if Texas needs anymore news like this to perpetuate California’s stereotype of the hillbilly, redneck, build a big ass wall along the Rio Grande cause I’m the GD state of Texas! But it looks like Dallas Texas did just that. Apparently they’ve been writing up “Don’t Speak English” tickets (good thing they don’t give tickets for bad grammar in Cali) for the past 3 years as a ticket-able offense. It isn’t (for regular drivers).  I don’t know how those yokels thought they could get away with that. I would say these MFer’s would get their asses kicked when they travel abroad to Thailand or Spain and get yelled out for screaming “WHAT THE FUCK! HOW COME NO ONE IN THIS GOD DAMN COUNTRY SPEAKS A GOD DAMN LICK OF AMERICAN!” But you know, as well as I do, these MFer’s wouldn’t go as far as the downtown Dallas P.F. Chang’s.

Speaking of being as American as Texas is, check out the second most controversial Halloween costume this year (after Kate Gosselin’s blond wig):

IllegalAlientHalloweenCostume

Buycostumes.com, with the sale of their “Illegal Alien” costume (“he didn’t just cross a border, he crossed a galaxy!”), perpetuates the idea of undocumented immigrants as foreign, criminal, inhuman, and well, as you can see, it’s just some straight fucked up racism. Pro-immigration advocates were up in arms over it, and thanks to their actions, the costume was pulled from the shelves of Target, Toys R Us, Amazon.com, Walgreens, and other retailers.

The bad news is, the costume is still available directly from BuyCostumes.  United Farmworkers of America has started a Twitter campaign to remove the costume from their site @ http://act.ly/pm. The CEO of BuyCostumes.com, Jalem Getz, insisted that “it’s not a caricature of illegal immigrants, it’s a play on words”. Uh huh. Great article on offensive costumes here. I know as Halloween approaches, we’ll all be bracing ourselves for another lovely year of ethnic dress-up ass-clownery like this and this. If only we could get this garbage pulled from the shelves too.

Friday Fuckery: GaGa Kitty

hello-gaga-11950-1256270137-102

Hello Lady GaGa,

I kinda am in awe of and hate you at the same time for living my dreams. I mean — in my head — this is my prom, wedding, and Inauguration gown combined. Have you been eavesdropping on my thoughts? You do look mighty bitchin’, even if your cleave is a bit lopsided.  Much preferable to that Kermit monstrosity, though I honestly wish you woulda stuck to that instead of stealing my thunder. My heart twinges with bitterness.

Yours truly,

Cbruhs

p.s. So, um….could I uh, borrow that dress next Friday? I got this blind date….