Friday Fuckery: FOBS Only!

Last week I visited my old high school buddy for BDay dorm-cooked dinner and copious wine drinking. He’s at Cornell Med Skool in the Upper East, and this sign was posted in his building:


I was seized by momentary panic. Would our celebrations be derailed? Would I have to wait outside and hang my head in ABC shame?  However, once building security witnessed me park my ass on the lobby floor to change out of shoes and socks into flip flops, and I showed them the sizeable tupperware and extra plastic bags stowed in my purse, I got the nod of approval, signed in, and was granted honorary FOB clearance. SUCCESS!!! And parteetime in thee hallowed hallways of academia commenced!

Let this be a lesson to all the bananas and haters out there that fobbiness is a GIFT, and will grant you access into magical places that spoiled, prissy assimilated folks are too busy distancing themselves from their boder brethren to ever experience. FOB pride 4Eva!


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