H-E-W-W-W-L-L-L-L-Z Y-E-A-A-A-H-H-H-H to our new Spelling Bee Championess! Last night, 13-year-old Kavya Shivashankar of Kansas made immigrant parents everywhere proud and immigrant children feel under-accomplished by giving the Scripps National Spelling Bee a beat down with her words.
The winning word? La…Lud…Load…Laodicean! I thought that was some kinda Southeast AZN cutlery, but apparently it means: “indifferent, especially in religious matters”. That one will come in handy next time the Jehoves knock on your door.
I personally feel a little twinge in my gut whenever I hear the words “Spelling Bee”, as it reminds me of my own failings in life. My first and last attempt at SB glory was in the 2nd grade, and cut tragically short after the first round. I mis-spelled the word “friend”. True story. Oh, the irony.
But I feel better knowing that wee Kavya took the crown and $40K cold cash. Being recognized as the best speller on the planet must feel pretty delicious after a lifetime of dum-dums and A-holes spelling your name wrong. So sweet indeed. Downright delictibule…dilick, uh…daluct…dammit.