Okay, I never do two FF posts in a day, out of principle and sheer laziness, but this just merits a second round. Breathe deep. Ready?…….
MARY KAY CHILDTOUCHER LeTOURNEAU IS HOSTING A “HOT FOR TEACHER” PARTY IN SEATTLE WITH HER RAPEE/HUSBAND/BABY DADDY!!!!
Gasp, gasp, gasp. Remember this scandal of the ’90s? LeTourneau even went to the clink for seven years for her relations with the then 12-year-old Vili Fualaau (she was 34 with four kids at the time). They’re now married with two chilluns.
As a native Seatowner, this is one less reason to get that space needle tat on my chichi. My Pops even taught in the same school district as LeTourneau, so has MET the woman at teacher trainings (pre-tween-Samoan-lovin’ era). The only thing he remembered about Mary Kay was that she was really “chatty”, and thus somewhat irritating. That’s about all I’d wanna remember too.
Anyhooz, if you feel like checking out the event to ogle and feel unclean (Vili will be on the wheels o’ steel, I shit you not. We can start taking bets now on which clever self-referential tunes he’ll spin), apparently it’s tomorrow at some joint called FUEL, in Pioneer Square (douchebag alert!) So FUEL must stand for Frickin’ Unbelievable Ewwwiness Lounge. I mean, c’mon. The flyer really says it all:
So um, I guess this means Mary Kay’s over the whole jail thing. Please don’t let this turn into some celebrity whored out tabloid circus thing. I really don’t think I can handle seeing her mug splashed across USWeekly again, and have the image of my lovely hometown further sullied. On second thought, I really don’t want any more clueless chuckleheads moving there and replacing historic bowling alleys with condos, so go ahead and think what you want. The 206 is chock full o’ pervs, junkies, and the criminally insane! Stay out for god’s sake! Think of the children!