Overheard while in line for tickets to Star Trek XI:
Guy dressed like Vulcan: Who are the all-time best Asian Superheroes?
Guy dressed as Lieutenant Uhura: Well, I saw a Top Ten Asian Superheroes list on a blog that…
Guy dressed like Vulcan: EHHH! Wrong!
Guy dressed as Lieutenant Uhura: Well, my favorites are Pyslocke and Jubilee from X-Men.
Guy dressed like Vulcan: You are the worst ever! I want you to shuddap, head over to Mordor, hike up Mount Doom, and throw yourself in. *pushes up glasses* Psylocke was actually born Elizabeth “Betsy” Braddock, sister of Captain Britain and abducted by The Hand, assassins from Japan and surgically altered to appear “Asian” as an attempt by Jim Lee to have an Asian character to draw.
Guy dressed as Lieutenant Uhura: What about Jubilee then?
Guy dressed like Vulcan: You’re as stupid as a Trill without a symbiont! Its like I don’t even KNOW you! Her superpowers are fireworks! Fireworks I tell you! And she was a gymnast! A Chinese American superhero with lame sparks coming out of her hands? She’s doesn’t even get a speaking role in the X-Men movies!
Guy dressed as Lieutenant Uhura: So who are the all-time best Asian American superheroes then?
Guy dressed like Vulcan: You Nerf Herder! It was a trick question. There aren’t any! Which is why I wanna get this, Secret Identities: The Asian American Superhero Anthology, edited by Jeff Yang, Parry Shen, Keith Chow and Jerry Ma. Its filled with the mostest awesomest Asian American superheroes that’ll make you happier than drinking Butterbeer at The Three Broomsticks in Hogsmeade. Nerd.