Friday Fuckery: Two-Headed Monster



Ugh. Babies. They always be like: LOOK AT ME! And their parents are all: LOOK AT MY BAYYYBEEE!  

Like you need another product to draw more attention towards your precious progeny. And in this case, make people back away sloooowly.

Problems I have with the Mom + BAYBEE! snuggie, aside from the obvious:

1) Do you really wanna walk around looking like the chestburst scene from Alien?

2) This thing is $80 bones. Basically you’re forking over a Benjamin for a big blanket with a pocket. You could totally make that. Just go down to the swap meet, get a couple fuzzy tiger and La Virgen de Guadalupe rugs, staple them together – and there you go. Or do it AZN folx style and just zip that little fucker up in your jacket. White people waste money like it’s gonna make their property values appreciate.

3) Chances are, little one is gonna drop a deuce every hour on the hour. And you will have that warm, soggy, pungent doody pie all swaddled up on your chest. Plus the rugrat will be stewing in its own filth. Somebody call Child Protective Services!

At the end of the day, I think it would be just as effective, and likely more sanitary, to carry Ay Bay Bay around in this:




2 thoughts on “Friday Fuckery: Two-Headed Monster

  1. THANK YOU for this post!! i’m so phucking tired of people putting their kid in my face. look s/he is yours not mine! i hate it! esp on a plane and they look at you like “isn’t my kid cute – aren’t you glad to sit next to us” nooooooooooooooo and does your kid have to talk for the whole 5 hour plan ride!! SHUT UP!! i get that it takes a village but can i take a break……


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