NUMERO TRES: THE EUROPEAN/SOUTH AMERICAN SOCCER JERSEY
Cause you don't f'n watch soccer. You just want people to know you went to Munich (take that Bayern Munich jersey off) or Brazil (look at me! I'm wearing a Ronaldinho jersey! Who is he again?).
NUMBER TWO: THE HARD ROCK CAFE COLLECTIBLE SHIRT
Singapore? I've ALWAYS wanted to go to Singapore. So I can see... uh... Petronas Towers. Wait, that's in Malaysia? The WORST part is your ass is probably FROM A GODDAMN CITY THAT HAS A HARD ROCK CAFE ALREADY!!!
NUMBER ONE: THE THAI RED BULL SHIRT (Not to be mistaken with the Thai Coke logo T)
We GET IT. You've been to Thailand. You spent 3 weeks there traveling through Phuket and you had this amazing experience with some bangin ass hookers in Bangkok (who were men, dude. They were. Trust me). You went to the Night Market and bought a Red Bull shirt cause its got squiggly letters underneath some bulls. Guess what douchebag, EVERYONE that's been to Thailand has the same damn shirt. So you wearing it in the States doesn't make you better than someone that's never been to Thailand. It just makes you look like a tool cause you bought the baseball three-quarter cut-off tee version which was hella cool in 2003. So shut the F up and get an STD check up in 2-3 months. Please.