Pissy Morning

To that teenager on the Dumbarton Bridge who cut me off in that monstrosity you call a car: you better hope I don’t see your Eminem wannabe ass again tomorrow morning.

To the Peets Barista whom I asked not to fill my tumbler all the way to the top and argued with me that it was right below the line: I like cream in my coffee, so when I add cream it will overflow and I can’t put my lid on. So when I ask you to pour some coffee out, don’t argue with me.

To the retirees/housewives of suburbia who stop in for your morning lattes after that brisk walk: do not stand in front of the coffee condiment station and hold your conversations about grandkids, dogs, vacation homes, or new anti wrinkle creams. You’re in the gawddamn way of my cream! There should be a law against 3 or more women loitering around wearing black stretchy pants with oversize parkas and white new balance sneakers.

To the homophobic, racist, ignorant ny post cartoonist and SOB, sean delonas: I hope your pee-pee rots and your butthole gets crazy glued together. Check out his latest cartoon sketch that the ny post allowed to go to print. Shame on you ny post.

02182009

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