F the gold medals and Olympic records. I just got an ad in the mail for a motivational speakers seminar. And I want to learn the real Michael Phelps. So I’m going to this:
I want to learn how to hook up with AzN women with fake chi chi’s (cha cha’s?) and smoke the sticky icky out of a bong. And I wannabe an underwater Christ figure with a bulge. And Speedos. And a waterproof condom cap.