ATTN: All you Hipster & Yuppie Blue Moon Drinkers

Created by the neocons to reduce leftwing brain cells and to funnel money back to the Man.

Blue Moon: Created by the neocons to reduce leftwing brain cells and to funnel money back to the Man.

Take that orange slice outta your glass of Blue Moon and pour it down the drain. Although you may think you know Blue Moon wheat beet and the Blue Moon Brewing Company, you don’t. You probably discovered Blue Moon at a local beer festival or brewing competition, or at your local bar (on tap with other so-called microbrews). You probably think you’re so cool cause you got the cute bartender to cut up an orange slice to float in your Blue Moon, while that douche to your left has a lemon slice in his Pyramid Hef. What you don’t know is that Blue Moon is a Coors Brewing Company product, purposely NOT advertised by the company as a Coors product. But instead, paraded around the beer tasting festivals and circuits as a “Blue Moon Brewing Company” product. Yes, THAT Coors. The one that has been known to have possibly been in support of some of our favorite movements: pro-Klu Klux Klan, pro-Ward Connerly/anti-Affirmative Action, Pro-Nazi/Anti-Semite, and anti-Gay.

Whereas before, I didn’t have a problem boycotting Coors products because of their neocon ways, this new development is problematic for me. But I do urge you to think before you drink Blue Moon. Not only does the bartender NOT enjoying slicing up oranges for your ass, every bottle you drink is one stepper closer to a whiter, less gay America.

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8 thoughts on “ATTN: All you Hipster & Yuppie Blue Moon Drinkers

  1. So what? Coors light is damn good beer too. Stop being whiny and drink it. Or, you can drink Miller, if that’s the kind of piss water you enjoy…

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  2. I’m more classy than that, Its Miller High Life or nothing at all. Fuck all them fags with their microbrews and foreign beers, right?! Only commies and terrorists drink that shit!

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  3. And people still buy Volkswagen even though they produced their products with Jewish slave labor during WWII and never apologized for it. America is a consumer-happy society, and as long as we like the product, we’ll buy it, regardless if their company killed puppies, or shit eco-friendly rainbows out their assholes. Blue Moon is delicious, since I am neither a yuppie nor a hipster, I can guiltlessly enjoy a nice, refreshing glass of bigotry garnished with a slice of ignorance.

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  4. I’ll keep drinking it. Why? Because its the best damn wheat beer I’ve tasted. I could care less who it is made by. There are a lot of domestic beers that kick ass, and this is one of them. I love all the local brews as well, but damn if this wheat beer isn’t fucking delicious. Not sure where the yuppie or hipster comments are coming from, as they tend to stick with rail drinks and rarely tread into beer territory.

    I still stick a lemon in mine, just because it tastes better to me.

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  5. Blue Moon is delicious… that is why I drink it. I was a bartender in college and I gotta say that putting an orange in a beer never really bothered me… In addition I’ve known that Coors owns Blue Moon for years, it’s actually not a huge secret… lots of people know. Step down off your high horse, I don’t think that Coors is going to make any difference in the way our country progresses socially (or at least not enough of a difference for me to boycott the tasty beverage.)

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