If I have to drag my ass every April to one of the most ghetto malls in the Bay, only to schlep to the basement cellar where the gift wrap carnies and lost & found trolls work, all for the sake of having my fucking taxes done by the pimply faced kid from the Simpsons at the H&R Block by the Sears, then your ass (I’m talking to you Caroline Kennedy, Timothy Geithner, and Tom Daschle) should have time to do the same. Or better yet, use the fucking free tax CDs they drop like AOL dial-up internet discs back in the day and have your OWN pimply faced kid do it for you. Oh, you’re too busy running for NY’s empty senate seat? Or didn’t have any time cause you were just appointed Treasury Secretary or Secretary of Health and Human Services? Hopefully you’re reading this cause I’ve conveniently hooked you up with a link with directions to all the H&R Blocks in the Washington D.C. area here: H&R BLOCK. What? Still no time to take the metro or drive across the Patomic? Here’s a link to download Turbo Tax, why don’t you give it a go: http://turbotax.intuit.com/personal-taxes/#go_tt_cd. What, you don’t have enough money to pay for the software? Here’s a coupon, use it!
So there are the options. BUT, what I WOULDN’T want you to do is whatever the fuck you’re currently doing that results in your ass AVOIDING the fair payment of taxes and ALSO voting on what my tax dollars are used for. Don’t blame this on Obama and his stringent vetting process. If I have to list off every email address I’ve had in my life (yes, my first email address, email@example.com is so catchy and got all the ladies on the Prodigy BBS boards) to get a job with Barack, your ass should be paying taxes and hiring documented workers. And guess what? Republicans keep calling us elistists cause of shit like this and they’re right! Ms. Caroline “hey I wanna get into politics all of a sudden cause I’m a” Kennedy and her undocumented workers is the tip of the iceberg. My family hire dudes at Home Depot to help with the backyard and people on craigslist to help with cleaning, but should I even state the obvious?? YOU ARE RUNNING FOR THE UNITED STATES SENATE AND I AM NOT. Stop being cheap, lazy, or un-American. In each case, you’re making us look like idiots. The Goddamn Treasury Secretary should not have any issues with money at all! Not even an issue with those Columbia house DVD offers. Better yet, he or she shouldn’t even be taking pennies at the “give a penny, take a penny” tray at the gas station cause you’re suppose to be better than that! Pharmacists should never have dealt drugs, doctors should never have murdered anyone, garbage truck drivers should not litter, politicians should not be skipping out on taxes! Fuck! How can I have any possibility of out-debating the Pubes at my work about wasting tax dollars on the WAR and the NEED to spend it on social services if leaders in the Democratic Party AREN’T PAYING TAXES!