you can always count on the month of march to deliver certain things: longer days, breezier weather, spring break (oh, to be a student again), march madness, the cactus league, and most importantly, girl scout cookies. yes, they have arrived. thin mints, tagalongs, and my beloved samoas. now, what would make me love girl scout cookies even more is if they got rid of the girl scouts.
a few months a woman at work brought in a sign up sheet to pre-order girl scout cookies from her daughter’s brownie troop. she left the sign up sheet on the table in the common area, and next to it, she placed a photo of her daughter. strategic. appealing to potential buyers through cuteness. apparently, the kid wasn’t cute enough to me, cuz i didn’t pre-order shit. so today, she brings in her kid to deliver the cookies and collect the money. because she’s a good parent, she’s also trying to teach her kid basic mathematics in the process. so as they’re walking around the floor handing out the cookies to people who pre-odered (which i didn’t. damnit why isn’t your kid cuter, in which case, i woulda caved and pre-ordered, in which case, i’d be eating some samoas right now!), i’m sitting here listening to the woman slowly count out the change back from a twamp so that her 7 year old kid can learn the concept of subtraction. (man, i was doing multiplications at age 5, oakland public schools, holla! i kid). not only is it annoying to listen to this woman teach her little girl scout math ( … 1…..2….3…..4….5…6… – bitch, 12!! 8 from 20 is 12!! give him a ten and 2 one’s and be done!), but coupled with the fact that i’m girl scout cookie-less, i’m even more irritated.
why the lack of love for girl scouts? perhaps, because growing up my sister and i were never girl scouts, literally and figuratively. shit, who in oakland was a girl/boy scout/brownie!? can you imagine walking around east oakland with boxes of cookies and cash in tow? i might as well just hand the crackheads my goodies (not ciara goodies) and avoid the beat down. however, now that we’re older, you would think that my sister and i would have more love for little girl scouts, especially, with her being a parent herself and all. our gchat 5 minutes ago:
me: i want girl scout cookies!!!
seestar: when do they arrive?
me: they’re here now. some lady is passing it out to ppl who pre-ordered, i didn’t.
seestar: pre-ordered LAME
me: i wonder if they’re selling outside safeway
seestar: overrated. they are probably outside montgomerybart harassing us bart riders.
me: way to support the brownie girls
seestar: I have a son
me: that will never ever be involved in boy scouts. he’s way too cool for that crap.
seestar: EXACTLY. I want him doing gymnastics.
obviously, my seestar could still careless for girl scouts and will need to enroll my nephew in martial arts classes to defend himself for being enrolled in gymnastics.