over the past few days, i’ve had many conversations with my girlfriends about why it is that we end up liking the guys that we do. what is it about these losers that we find so attractive? what qualities do they possess that keep drawing us in? and i’ve come to one possible conclusion: the alpha male factor. regardless of how much we go on about how we just want a nice guy who has his life together and who knows how to respect us for who we are- flaws and all, we end up still falling for the badass that walks into the room oozing of arrogance. we like guys with confidence, with power, with the ability to captivate and intrigue us. we want a man with swagger. no matter what he looks like on paper (30, living at home, playing video games), as long as we catch him in a situation where he is the alpha dog, the one in control, we get oh, so weak in the knees. now he doesn’t have to be the alpha male in anyone else’s eyes, cause quite honestly, he probably doesn’t truly have the alpha male factor. he only has to come off as an alpha male in our eyes. just that one moment in which we see him as the powerhouse, the sexy point guard that keeps dropping the 3s from beyond the arc, the wide receiver who never misses a pass, the emt in uniform that rushes to administer cpr, the self absorbed car fanatic that knows how to work that stick shift. it’s those moments that make us want to bust out some erykah and declare him “the love of my life. you rock my world and you be boy and i’ll be girl and…we don’t stop till…” so what can we learn from this? two things.
first, if there is a guy out there who is nice and respects you and enjoys spending time with you and you know he has some feelings for you but you can’t seem to quite get those romantic feelings for him going, what should you do? put him in a situation in which he can play the role of the alpha dog. a situation in which he will without a doubt be the man in control. good in math? suggest he join a mathlete competition and go watch him in action. digs computers and other gadgets? bring him to macworld! and if you still don’t develop those feelings for him after seeing him in a space in which he excels, then move on. it’s never gonna happen with this guy.
on the flip side, need to get over some douchebag? put him in a situation that will expose his insecurities. put him in a position to be the beta. you’ll find out how quickly you’ll be turned off by his lack of confidence, his vulnerability, and his inability to swagger through the room because he is out of his element. no woman wants a beta.