An Open Letter to Butterface Phelps re: Skanks

   Dear Michael “Butterface” Phelps,

It’s no secret, thanks to Best Week Ever’s widely publicized photos of you gallivanting about town, collar a-popped, trucker hat tactically askance, that you’ve made your foray into douche territory. However, your most recent pursuits have truly solidified your status as Lord of All Things in the Realm of Douchedom:

You’re dating an Asian Girl.

But not just any Asian girl – nay, Butters – a super porny one. An overtanned, Vegas cocktail pushin, Tila Tequila wannabe.

A Belt Doth Not A Bra Make. Just Sayin'.

A Belt Doth Not A Bra Make. Just Sayin'

A skeezy men’s mag-posin’, cliched belly-ringin’, “bad girl”-tatted, silicone-titted, hoodrat brokeass Asian Girl. A Disgraced Asian. Meaning none of us wants to claim her. SO predictable, Buttface. Well in that case, go ahead and help yourself to our leftovers. Since we ain’t dishin you any Respek.


Common interests include: Shirtlessness

I heard you even took your classy lady friend home to meet your wholesome, ever-supportive Momma for Thanksgiving weekend. Goodness gracious me! I’m guessing they discussed what it feels like to have “A Chicos kind of day” or perhaps  “a Herpes outbreak kind of day.” Oh, to be a fly on the wall.

In summary: Gross. You two truly deserve each other.




3 thoughts on “An Open Letter to Butterface Phelps re: Skanks

  1. Rotten and twisted people you are are if you want a gutter swearing match I’m well capable of that too just restraining myself to show you that I am not an uneducated sub-human who sees people of Asian descent as anything other than people. shame on you. Wanna argue with that?


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