Dear Tony Leung and Andy Lau,

Tony Leung and Andy Lau

These two never age, right?!?!

 

Dear Tony Leung and Andy Lau,

I beg you. Never leave Hong Kong. I realize that since you guys have been famous, Communist China has replaced jolly good England as your imperialist government, Korean cinema has replaced Hong Kong cinema as the main Asian form of entertainment, and your fellow colleagues from Chow Yun Fat, John Woo, Jet Li, Jackie Chan, Tsui Hark, and now Stephen Chow and Wong Kar Wai have started doing movies in the U.S. But as all of us know, those guys are the Leonardo DiCaprios and Brad Pitts of HK cinema. You two are the Di Niros and Pacinos of the game. While they go off and make Kung Fu Panda and multiple Rush Hours and Bulletproof Monk and ruined the Mission Impossible franchise, you two make Infernal Affairs (I’ll ignore the shitty prequel and sequel) which gets remade into an American movie that kills at the Oscars. Sure once in a while you guys do a pop album and make me cringe, but by staying in Hong Kong and doing real movies that show Asians aren’t just Buddhist monks or Kung fu experts, you’re providing us the movies we grew up with. The same movies I had to trek downtown to see on a Tuesday night double feature. The same ones I had to bargain to get VCDs of in Chinatown. The ones my parents and I watched together. Not the Hollywood bullshit that’s coming out today. The Jet Li movies out today are cliches of what the man was. His audience now aren’t action movie buffs, they’re the UFC loving-rap video watching- MTV crowd that got introduced to HK cinema through those shitty repackaged Wu Tang Clan dvd collections. 

So I beg you, especially you Tony. Between Hard Boiled, Chungking Express, In the Mood for Love, and Infernal Affairs, you easily have 4 movies in my Top 20. I beg that you don’t sell out and show up as the next Rush Hour Fukienese Triad villain. Or a Chinese ambassador who’s daughter gets kidnapped in the next Tsui Hark film. 

PS. Wong Kar Wai- You’re next. I’m watching you closely. Picking Norah Jones as your lead in My Blueberry Nights was a risk, a gamble you ultimately lost. Albeit, she technically IS an Asian-American actress, but she was bad. She was Julia Roberts reading from a cue card on SNL bad. So I’m watching your next move. I’m watching you more closely than Stephen Chow cause he went from Kung Fu Hustle to Green Hornet in the states and you went from directing Faye Wong/Tony Leung to Jude Law/Norah Jones. That my friend, is a step DOWN. 

PSS. I miss Faye Wong.

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