alone time

To All the Ladies on the 5th floor:

I understand that there’s just one ladies’ restroom for the entire floor. I counted and there are about 23 of us X chromosome bearers that have to use that restroom, which makes it a little difficult to get some quiet alone time in there at any point throughout the day. Now, it’s not a huge restroom – 2 stalls – so any movement, sound, squirt that comes out, is heard – loud and clear. And being the classy dame that I am, I normally don’t like doing the duty with other people in the stall next to me. That being said, you ladies make it very difficult and uncomfortable for me to do the dirty dirty. I don’t get it, why is it that as soon as I walk into the restroom, one of you show up right behind me? Forcing me to fake pee and leave without unloading my unwanted treasures. And I normally go about 2-4 times a day (yea, I eat a lot of fiber). This cannot be healthy for me to hold this all in until I get home or until i get some quiet time, whichever comes first. And even when I do get some quiet time, I find myself rushing to get it over with, fearing that any moment, one of you will walk through the door and totally kill the mood. Why? I really can’t go on like this. Something has got to change. Do I need to put a sock on the door when I go in so that you all know to stay the hell out? Do I need to get a Dr’s note and post it on the bulletin board to announce to you all that I DON’T WANNA HOLD IN MY SHIT (literally and figuratively!) because it’s not healthy for me? What must I do to get some alone time in there?



All Clogged Up






2 thoughts on “alone time

  1. wow this has been a problem that has challenged women/men/children throughout the ages…..

    can you…

    1) lock the door?
    2) stop eating so much fiber?
    3) put a sign that says “bitches stay away”?
    4) find a floor that has a solo “executive” bathroom – that can b/cm your bathroom?


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