Asian-Americans vs. AzNs

This one will get me into some trouble I think. I’m going to be dissing my own people on this post, and its going to hurt many of my delusional friends. But maybe it’ll hurt first and then help eventually?

Just like Chris Rock and his infamous line which I dare not repeat here, there is a big difference between Asian-Americans and AzNs. If you know the difference, than you are more than likely the former. If you’re still reading this and contemplating whether you are the latter, guess what, you are. Here are a few handy tips to figure out if you are AzN:

  • If you dress better to go out at night on Fridays and Saturdays than you do Monday through Thursday in the daytime.
  • If you wear a blazer (minus the rest of the suit) more often than you wear a hoodie (and no, blazers with built-in hoodies DO NOT count. They automatically make you a douche, but not necessarily AzN). And you dig wearing striped shirts and boot cut jeans. 
  • If you have a background in finance, real estate or bio chem (and you’re not a doctor). Especially if you majored in any of those fields in college, but you took an Asian-American Studies or Ethnic Studies class in college looking for an easy ‘A’, but you got a “B+” instead.
  • If ALL your friends are light skinned Asians named Mike Kim, Jerry Nguyen, or Terry Chang.
  • On a scale of Honda Prius to Johnny Tran’s suped up Honda S2000, your car is making sounds dangerously close to illegal.
  • You get the Johnny Tran reference I just made.
  • When you hear the word “bike”, you automatically think of a motorcycle and not a bicycle. 
  • You have a Banana Republic, Bebe, or Armani Exchange credit card (or store credit) in your wallet right now. I’m not saying if you shop there you’re AzN, I’m just saying that if you shop there often enough to necessitate a credit card for points, you’re AzN.
  • You enjoy the “one word dance clubs” (Dragonbar, Dulce, LAX, Blvd) that I know the writers of this blog enjoy (Yea I said it! I saw you at Blvd and I’m sure there’s photographic evidence of it too!) Or better yet, the one syllable clubs (Hyde, Raw, Tao). And you like the aZn party promoters like Climax, VisionShock, or Set for Life.
  • Your initial gut reaction towards Ed Hardy clothing is not disgust.
  • You’re a fiscal Republican/social Democrat cause you like to party but you’d like to continue spending your parents money. 
  • Its 2008 and yOu sTiLl fReQuEnT aOl ChAt RoOmS aNd TyPe LiKe ThIs. nO oNe sTiLl TyPes LiKeS dO tHeY?
  • You are currently wearing a bluetooth headset while reading this post. 
  • You hate me right now. 

And if you still don’t know the difference between an Asian-American with an aZn, maybe a photograph will help. Photos are priceless.

 

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9 thoughts on “Asian-Americans vs. AzNs

  1. HEY WHAT THE F*** YOU RACIST M*****F*****! WHY YOU HATIN’ ON YO’ OWN PEOPLE DAWG?!?! YOU WHITEWASHED-ASS B*T**! IF ME AND MY LAMBDA BROTHERS CATCH YOUR P****Y ASS AT HYDE/LAX/BLVD 3/RITUAL/VANGUARD/SKY BAR/ON THA STREETS WE’RE GONNA KEEPS IT REAL AND KICK YO’ STOOPID PUNK ASS! YOU BETTA RECOGNIZE BITCH!

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  2. Azn is “greater” than Asian American. You have people in U.S Canada, Australia, Europe, SouthAmerica who all identify as AzN. Instead of saying Asian American, Asian Australian, Asian Canadian etc, they just put AZN. It is a common bond that unites us worldwide. (just check out Youtube/facebook/myspace, its true)

    AzN really represents the formation of a Pan-Asian identity by people of Asian descent born in Caucasian dominated countries aka the “west” An oppositional identity based on shared experiences of being a minority Azn in an Ocean of vanilla.(and all the white priviledge/white supremacy that comes with)

    AZN is the creation of a new culture, for yellow people worldwide in the “developed” world.

    It demonstrates political awareness and consciousness, instead of assimilating into other cultures, we have created one that is uniquely our own.Think about it. Dont you think it will make AzN communities more powerful? when we create our own stories, own histories, musicians, media groups/personalities, politicians. We dont rely on others false representation of Asians/Yellows in the U.S, Canada by whites etc, nor do we rely on the depiction of Asians by Asians in Asia(or Japanese/Chinese/Viets etc)

    I think the development of AzN identiy can be compared to the developement of “Black” AfroAmerican culture.AzN is a positive thing for Asians in the “West”. We should control our own destiny, not let others define it for us.

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  3. Pingback: Ed Hardy IS Stuff White People Like « BicoastalBitchin’s Weblog

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  5. I can see that these posts are very old, but I still would like to make a comment. I am not Asian, but I don’t think this means that I’m not entitled to an opinion regarding this subject.

    Just so you are able to know where I’m coming from, I will share my background: I am a Jew of Russian decent. I grew up in Vancouver, B.C. Growing up I had pretty much all Asian friends.

    I can tell you that they are much different than Asians like Smacker. They are confident, in touch with their traditions and customs, and don’t really feel the need to prove anything by calling themselves “Pan-Asian,” nor do they feel the need to go on and on about Asian pride. Today, I have friends from all different ethnicities and backgrounds. We don’t give much thought to a person’s race. We are friends with the individual. My close friends are Filipino, Chinese, Polish, Slovak, and English. Mabye it’s different up here. Maybe we are a cultural mosaic and just accept each other more.

    Smacker, you do not have much in common with African-Americans. They were shipped here in chains, went through several hundred years of slavery and oppression, constant humiliation and degradation. Your people were free and made the choice to come here just like my family did.

    I think this Pan-Asian idea is quite silly and is just an over-compensation for low self-esteem. Pan-Asian makes me think of Pan-Arab or Pan-Slav. Do some reseach and see how much these different groups actually hate each other. When you talk about lumping all Asians together I think you do yourself quite a disservice because you’re taking unique histories, cultures and customs away from people. You’re saying that a person is no longer a Chinse person or Vietnamese person with their own unique identity. Now, you’re just calling them “Asian.” There is another group that does this. Instead of being proud of their own unique Irish, Scottish, English, Russian, or Polish heritage, they lump all whites together. These are white supremacists, and Smacker sounds a lot like them to me.

    If living in a see of vanilla bothers you so much, why don’t you move? I live in a sea of Asians but I don’t whine about it. If I had a problem I would move. There are whiter areas, and areas with more Jews, but I like it here. If living within a “Caucasian dominated” society is so terrible, I wonder why you wouldn’t want to move to an Asian dominated one.

    Do you really think that whites are the only people capable of evil in this world? Google Pol Pot, Mao’s atrocities, Genghis Khan’s atrocities, Japanese atrocities, China’s conduct in Tibet.

    Forget about this silly AZN fake pride. Be proud of yourself and your own unqiue culture and history.

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