So I’ve been seeing a lot of promos lately for this new ABC family series “Samurai Girl”. Apparently it’s based on the popular series of young adult novels by Carrie Asai. From what I gathered from the previews, the plotline is basically this: Asian girl must learn the Way of the Samurai to avenge her murdered brother, and beseeches a strapping white “sensei” to teach her the ancient martial arts of her own damn people. Her evil yakuza family betrays her and she must prove that life as a samurai is just “WHO I AAAAAAAAM!!!” She’s obviously hot for teacher even though his fug ass looks like he’s pushing 40. OMG! Squeal! Are they gonna hook up? I would totally just die! The show has all the elements of a White Knight fantasy: Hot PYT Asian girl, lots of chopsocky n swordfights, interracial love conquests and of course – a white man out-Asian-ing the Asians. Oh save us, balding beefcake! Barf. Looks like the only fine Asian dude in the whole show is the brother, and well, he dead. Oh and all Samurai Girl’s new American friends are white too. I wonder if casting reflects the book, or if this is just another case of Hollywood whitewash. Is Tom Cruise behind this? And can’t Asian folx be on TV without having to do karate or some shit? Bitches, please!