Worst Movie of Ever?

We at BCB think that racism can be hilarious, when it’s done right (see: W. Kamau Bell, Dave Chappelle, Hari Kondabolu, Negin Farsad, Stephen Colbert, Richard Pryor etc). But racism (and other -isms) just for racism’s sake — or its smug cousin, Hipster Racism — is just tired and lazy and ugly. And Buddha don’t like ugly. So she certainly would not care for this:

Seriously, was this written by a 9-year-old raised by Westboro Baptist and Jeff Dunham? What kind of drugs did they put in Sad Dachshund’s kibble to get him to go from an Academy Award to this? Is it weird to be equally offended and depressed that they topped it all off with an obnoxious cover of the Ramones?

Let’s organize a movement to ship Rob Schneider to some remote island where he can no longer be a threat to himself or anybody else with a shred of ethnic dignity. You go straight to hell, Schneider.

via Angry Asian Man

Friday Fuckery: Chinatown “Gambling Raid”

photo by Michael Appleton for the NYT

The illustrious NYPD, in partnership with the equally humanitarian Immigration & Customs Enforcement (ICE), recently raided a building in East Chinatown — which houses many hometown associations, shops, and even medicinal practitioners — in what they called a “crackdown on a hive of criminality”. Read the rather ridiculous details here.

Although they claim that the cash confiscated is proof that the laborers and retired workers mainly from Fujian province are linked to a Chinese criminal gang and part of “one of the largest illegal gambling operations uncovered in New York City’s recent history”, maybe these folks just like some down time between grueling jobs to play some social low-stakes games of mah jong, cards, and pool. Y’know, like Christmas at yo auntie’s house.

Some real shady, hardcore criminal activity right here. That Pau Pau is just LOADED with nickels.

In addition to confiscating mah jong tables, the authorities took a few thousand dollars from a safe and off of folks playing in one hometown association’s small office. They reason that cash found in this raid, along with similar raids, just goes to show that that illegal gambling is goin’ down. But among a population of immigrants who are often unbanked, get paid in cash, and may operate mutual assistance-type lending circles for those down on their luck, you’re not going to find a lot of checks and platinum cards. Which means that some of these folks may have just been carrying their day’s wages on them, which then got snatched up by the authorities as evidence of their criminality.

Authorities also raided the building because of “illegal medical care:”

In the recent raid, officials arrested two men in an office behind an unmarked door on the fourth floor. The men, Qiu Jiaxi, 67, and his son, Qiu Lu Hui, 38, were “examining and treating patients by injecting them with unknown substances and giving them a variety of unidentified pills,” the New York attorney general, Eric T. Schneiderman, said in a statement. They “lured unsuspecting patients into their office and put their greed before the health and safety of their victims.

Why does this read like a pulpy fiction from the ’40s featuring a jaundiced Chinaman with long queue and fingernails on the cover? THEY’RE COMING AFTER YOUR WHITE WOMEN NEXT!!

“The Qius were charged with unauthorized practice of a profession, a felony, and face up to four years in prison...but he said that he had studied acupuncture and Chinese traditional medicine in China and in New Jersey, and that his father had been trained in China. Both, he said, had excellent reputations in the New York diaspora as well as in Fujian Province…“Coming to see us is the only option for them,” he said. The Qius stopped practicing after their arrests but returned to their office. During the interview, a stream of patients stopped by, but the Qius apologized and turned them away.”

It’s called fucking Chinese medicine, dipshits! Folk remedies, homeopathy, alternative medicine…whatever you want to call it. While it may not be offered at Beth Israel, hippy white people pay a lot of money to study it in naturopathic school, so just chill out let these poor people without health insurance get the type of care they’ve consented to and have probably been familiar with their whole lives.

Unfortunately, federal officials are continuing to investigate these “gangs”, and the US attorney in Manhattan has sued for forfeiture of the building. While the leaseholder doesn’t believe there was any wrongdoing in the building, he still plans to clear out the hometown associations because of all the attention they’ve received from the authorities.

I wouldn’t be surprised if this is all a front to kick residents out and take over the building to build condos in what is fast becoming highly sought-after real estate. I can’t believe in this day and age, and in a city that prides itself on being the most diverse in the nation, stretched taxpayer dollars are going towards harassing old immigrants playing mahjong, confiscating their meager wages, and denying limited English speakers their traditional medicinal practices. You don’t see NYPD and ICE swooping in on old Jewish ladies in Forest Hills playing American Mahjong, or busting in on Wall Street types playing cards and betting on fantasy football in cigar rooms.

The NYT article is tepidly, diplomatically titled: “Chinatown Gambling Raid May Reveal Cultural Divide”. No shit. How about: “Dick Moves All Around, With Racial Fuckery At Its Finest”.

via NYT

Super Bowl Ad Fuckery

I’m not a big one for sports, but I do like looking at spandex and tattoos, so this year I gladly plunked my butt on the couch for a four-hour long excuse to binge on BBQ chicken wings, Costco Andre champagne, and of course — taking in the multimillion dollar Superbowl Ad Extravaganza. And my stars, was this year a doozy.

Remember 2011’s Groupon ad that portrayed Tibetans as a tragic, dying culture, but — huzzah! — out of which savvy customers could still score a cheap fish curry?

Well, this year did not disappoint on the racism and sexism fronts. The worst offender being Michigan Senate candidate Pete Hoesktra’s political ad, which showed an Asian woman biking through a rice paddy (cue gongs) and saying in broken English: “...Your economy get very weak. Ours get very good. We take your jobs….”

(And if you think you’re angry now, check out Hoekstra’s even more ludicrous ching chongy website).

The ad was quickly condemned by a Michigan coalition of Black ministers, APIA Vote, other Republicans, and basically anyone who’s not a dipshit. Hoekstra lamely defended himself by saying the ad is “satirical” and not about race.

Moving on! Apparently advertisers are still clinging onto that time-honored marketing adage: “sex sells…especially if it’s like, absurdly, offensively, Mad Men-level sexist”. Jezebel and Mother Jones did great pieces on the plethora of creepy Super Bowl ads that trotted out the tired female = sex object formula to sell cars, web domains (GoDaddy.com, of course), and even uh, M&Ms.

The ad that made me shudder and want to kick an ad exec in the balls the most was from Teleflora:

This is just a big dripping ball of lechery — from the cheap porno soundtrack to Adriana Lima’s lascivious close ups to the blatant “give…and you shall receive…Happy Valentines night.” Do people really still think that throwing 50 bucks towards flowers or dinner or some crap is what it takes to get a woman to fuck you? Insulting to both sexes, and viewers probably don’t appreciate how uncomfortable and unfortunate it is to watch this with your kids or (in my case) parents and grandparents.

Fortunately the organization Miss Representation launched the brilliant Twitter hashtag #NotBuyingIt, which allows viewers to talk back and let companies know how they feel about the use of women in only highly sexualized contexts — or left out altogether (as in the case of this men-only Best Buy ad on tech innovators):

Ain’t no truth in advertising here.

Source

See Jezebel’s list of 10 female tech innovators that should have been included here.

Dan Fanelli for Congress

If you like ads like this:

then you should go ahead and vote for him, Orlando. For the rest of us, please check out this guy’s website and be scared. Cause those ads weren’t made by Colbert to make fun of Republicans. They’re real ads. I especially like his motto: “Keep the change, Give us liberty”. Did I ever tell you that Florida’s the only state in America that my parents have experienced racism?

Thanks JiP.

Complex’s Top 50 Most Racist Films of All-Time

Although I didn’t agree with their choice of Bottle Rocket at #49 (its not THAT trashy, is it?), I definitely agree with Complex’s Top 50 Most Racist Movies You Didn’t Think Were Racist: Numero 1: Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

Also props to Complex for finding the little known racist gems like Gremlins (the darker the Gizmo, the deeper the roots), Romeo Must Die (Not even ONE kiss Aliyah?!), Dragonball Evolution (THANK YOU!),  Gung Ho (I didn’t even know this movie EXISTED, but now I GOTTA watch it just for Gedde Watanabe alone), 21 (THANK YOU AGAIN!), Avatar The Last Samurai (duh.), True Lies (finally, this is the first time I’ve seen this movie called out on its racist terrorist shit), Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (sorry ShortRound), Song of the South (there’s NO WAY Disney is still selling this movie), Transformer 2 (Skids and Mudflaps ruined this movie for me, but then Megan Fox made it all better), and Sixteen Candles (sucks to be you Gedde Watanabe, you seem to always pop up more than once in any of these lists). But most of my props go to Complex for calling out Rob Schneider for ALL of his movies cause he’s somewhat racially ambiguous (he’s a bit Filipino) and therefore plays everybody’s stereotype:

8. Every Rob Schneider Movie
Year: 1963 (birth)-present

Adam Sandler’s bit-part-playin’ buddy is a modern minstrel who has played (and played out) Chinese (I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry), Hawaiians (50 First Dates), Arabs (You Don’t Mess with the Zohan), and Native Americans (Bedtime Stories). He’s argued that it’s OK because he has a little Filipino in him (ayo!) and because he just happened to be the actor best suited to mock a people. We argue, “Fuck you, Rob.”

Toby Keith Pulls a Miley Cyrus

Another day, another “country” music singer pulling a “chink eye”. Taking a page out of the Miley Cyrus book on how to alienate your Asian fans, Toby Keith (I have no idea who this is, I don’t listen to the three C’s of music: Classic Rock, Classical, and Country), decided to pull a “chink eye” during Will Smith’s rendition of Rapper’s Delight. During the line: “See, I am Wonder Mike and I’d like to say hello. To the black, to the white, the red, and the brown, the purple and yellow”, Toby did this (timed perfectly with the word “Yellow”):

Toby Keith pulling his eyes back as Will Smith thinks, "Oh SHIT!"

The worst part is this concert looked like it was SUPPOSE to be bringing races together, Black folks into hip hop and White folks into country. It was a concert for the freaking NOBEL PEACE Prize for F sake! For a President that grew up in HAWAII AND INDONESIA! Except Toby’s idea of bringing folks together doesn’t include Asians. Come on, you could IGNORE US at the very LEAST! Better that than pulling out the ole “chink eyes”. Also great is Toby Keith’s rep, probably a cousin/uncle (the slash is meant to imply “and”, not “either/or”), in reply to the gesture said: “nobody at the party thought Toby was out of line.”

Oh that’s great! If they didn’t think it was out of line, maybe we should fly Will Smith and Toby Keith straight from Norway to the Miss China pageant this year and redo the whole concert, word for word, gesture by gesture! Lovely! And peep the comments on HuffPo (I thought those folks were suppose to be  liberal/progressives?).

Check out the whole video, Toby Keith ruins Rapper’s Delight around 0:24:

Wes Anderson Does it Again

I’ve mentioned my love/hate relationship with Wes Anderson in the past, and I’ve even BcB tweeted it when I watched the Fantastic Mr. Fox. But I finally figured out why the subtle fetishizing of people of color in ALL of Wes Anderson films really bug me. Whether its the Vietnam War reenactment in a school play at Rushmore Academy or the Filipino pirates in A Life Aquatic, Wes Anderson likes to fuck with folks. He likes to joke with people in their face, and since all the characters in his movie are in the know, its all an act. BUT. One problem. The people of color in his movies aren’t given the pleasure of being on the inside of the joke.

Poor Danny Glover in The Royal Tennenbaums doesn’t understand why he’s treated like an outsider in a family he has adopted as his own. Margaret Yang would do anything to please Max, so she doesn’t realize what it means for her to don a Viet Cong outfit in his mock war play. And The Darjeeling Limited? There are four people in the entire country of India during that movie that get that their in a movie: Anjelica Houston, Owen Wilson, Jason Schwartzman, and Adrian Brody. Everyone else is one-dimensional, brown folk just there for scenery, probably thinking Anderson is filming a documentary about trains.

And what about his latest film? How can Anderson bring in some subtle racism into a stop animation film about rabbits and foxes and humans? *Spoiler* By bringing in a one dimensional wolf that is the only “animal” in the film. It doesn’t talk, it doesn’t walk on two legs, and its the scariest thing on screen. And if you didn’t get the personification of the wolf character in the film, just for good measure, Anderson has the wolf raise a fist, Black Panther style.

Why does he do this? He knows his audience consists of graduate school educated, been to Paris on holiday, McLaren car seat in the back of an Audi A4, New Yorker reading yipsters, so they can read his subtext. All I know is that its getting harder and harder to watch his films as he gets cockier and cockier. Maybe its because he moved to Paris (this goes for you too Sedaris) or because deep down inside, he’s a Texan.

Monthly Racism Round-Up: November Edition

1. Minarets in Switzerland:

In an attempt to do a war reenactment of the Crusades (this time through zoning and design review), Switzerland just voted on officially banning the construction of minarets in the country (57.5% of voters supported it).

Neutral my ass. They don’t mind holding Nazi money for safe-keeping but an architectural feature that symbolizes Islam is no good? Thanks Switzerland, I am no longer going to mistake a Swede for a Swiss or Switzerland for Sweden anymore cause Swedes don’t hate Muslims like your impartial asses do:

Sweden’s foreign minister, Carl Bildt, whose country holds the rotating presidency of the European Union, described the vote as “an expression of quite a bit of prejudice and maybe even fear.”

(via Goatmilk)

2. If You’re a Brown Kid Gone Missing, You’re S.O.L.:

Francisco Hernandez, a NYC boy with Asperger’s syndrome, went missing for 11 days in the subway system.  The boy’s mother feels the NYPD were negligent on the case because she is a Mexican immigrant (sadly, this would fit into a long history of lack of priority and media coverage for missing brown children), and asked how her son went unnoticed for so long despite surveillance cameras and a police search. Francisco rode the trains and survived on water and snacks — someone get this kid a spot on “Survivor”!

Thanks Sherdizz!

3. Black Actors Disappear:

When the film Couples Retreat was marketed in the UK, the actors playing the African American couple – Kali Hawk and Faizon Love- were cut out of the promo posters. True, maybe these actors have the least “star power” in Britain, and the studio was trying to make the poster appear less cluttered. Nonetheless this move resulted in a PR disaster after Universal was flooded with complaint letters and negative UK press coverage for this racial slight. US and UK versions:

Thanks SherDizz!

4. If The Buddha Was A Fundraiser

OK, maybe this article by a consultant at Management Assistance Group isn’t outright overt racism, but it’s at least highly annoying/mildly offensive. I actually got this forwarded to me at work.

Now, I realize there’s a whole “WWJD” market out there….but would it be deemed appropriate to send out an article entitled:  “If Our Lord and Savior Jeebus Kryst Was a Fundraiser?” Or, “If the Pope Was a Fundraiser?” Or Yahweh?

Yes, I realize this intentions of the author are good and the article is about generosity and raising resources in the nonprofit sector blah de blah, but still. Our religion and Buddha’s image have been so commodified that apparently he can be invoked by non-Buddhists to help them with their workplace conundrums. Is nothing sacred? Guess not, as long as it’s not your religion (and if you picked it up in college during World Theologies 101 or from a weekend meditational retreat, that doesn’t count). If we can’t talk about God in the workplace, then Buddha should be off-limits too…or is he not enuf of a heavy-hitter in the holy who’s who for white people to treat Buddhism with true respect, rather than with flippant hokeyness or convenience?

October Monthly Racism Round-Up: Dallas and Halloween

Is that a Spanish speaking translator behind him, cause then this picture should also be listed under ironic as well as Dallas is filled with racist fucking rednecks

Is that a Spanish speaking translator behind him, cause then this picture should be listed under "ironic" as well as "Dallas is filled with racist fucking rednecks"

As if Texas needs anymore news like this to perpetuate California’s stereotype of the hillbilly, redneck, build a big ass wall along the Rio Grande cause I’m the GD state of Texas! But it looks like Dallas Texas did just that. Apparently they’ve been writing up “Don’t Speak English” tickets (good thing they don’t give tickets for bad grammar in Cali) for the past 3 years as a ticket-able offense. It isn’t (for regular drivers).  I don’t know how those yokels thought they could get away with that. I would say these MFer’s would get their asses kicked when they travel abroad to Thailand or Spain and get yelled out for screaming “WHAT THE FUCK! HOW COME NO ONE IN THIS GOD DAMN COUNTRY SPEAKS A GOD DAMN LICK OF AMERICAN!” But you know, as well as I do, these MFer’s wouldn’t go as far as the downtown Dallas P.F. Chang’s.

Speaking of being as American as Texas is, check out the second most controversial Halloween costume this year (after Kate Gosselin’s blond wig):

IllegalAlientHalloweenCostume

Buycostumes.com, with the sale of their “Illegal Alien” costume (“he didn’t just cross a border, he crossed a galaxy!”), perpetuates the idea of undocumented immigrants as foreign, criminal, inhuman, and well, as you can see, it’s just some straight fucked up racism. Pro-immigration advocates were up in arms over it, and thanks to their actions, the costume was pulled from the shelves of Target, Toys R Us, Amazon.com, Walgreens, and other retailers.

The bad news is, the costume is still available directly from BuyCostumes.  United Farmworkers of America has started a Twitter campaign to remove the costume from their site @ http://act.ly/pm. The CEO of BuyCostumes.com, Jalem Getz, insisted that “it’s not a caricature of illegal immigrants, it’s a play on words”. Uh huh. Great article on offensive costumes here. I know as Halloween approaches, we’ll all be bracing ourselves for another lovely year of ethnic dress-up ass-clownery like this and this. If only we could get this garbage pulled from the shelves too.

Harry Connick Jr Calls Out Blackface Buffoonery

Harry Connick Jr shooorre is one sessay man. Between the fact that he is insanely talented (triple threat!), the Louieseeeyanna drawl, that partial-pompadour, his multi-platinum croons… let’s just say they’re all reason enough to force yourself to stay awake on a red-eye flight for the entirety of Renee Squintyface’s chick flick New In Town (c’mon, he played a firefighter!).

harry-connick-jr-with-piano

And you know what ups the foyne factor?  When it comes to clowns actin the fool,  Harry don’t stand for no mess. As a recent judge on the Australian (no)talent show Hey Hey It’s Saturday, he was visibly upset by the group “The Jackson Jive”, who performed a “tribute” to the Jackson family…by dressing up in blackface and curly wigs and flailing around like jackasses.  Apparently the same group was on the show 20 years ago, in the exact same getup,  and actually won. Oh. Hell. No.

Although the act got gonged (unfortunately probably because of their sucky dancing rather than in objection to its racist nature), Harry awarded them big fat ZERO (amid audience boos) and called them out on their offensive booshit not only during the judging segment, but requested time later during the show to further voice his displeasure:

I just wanted to say on behalf of my country, I know it was done humorously, but we’ve spent so much time trying to not make black people look like buffoons, that when we see something like that, we take it really to heart. I know it was in good fun, and the last thing I want to do is take this show to a down level—because you know how much I love this show and this country—but I feel like I’m at home here, and if I knew that was going to be part of the show, I probably—I definitely wouldn’t have done it.”

Spoken like a true Southern gentleman! But my favorite Connick Jr. statement (aside from his spot-on usage of “buffoon”) was his assertion that he needed to say something – “…not as a white American or a black American, but as an American.” Period. As in, every American has the ability and onus to recognize and call out racism – and in the words of MJ himsef:  It don’t matter if you’re black or white

Check the video. The look on Harry’s face at (1:48) pretty much sums it up:

 

Cue response from one of the guys in the group:  “I suspect things are probably a bit different in America in terms of what that (black face) mean. I understand the history of the black face but certainly it was not construed in that way at all. All six of us discussed this at length whether or not we should put this on because we realised it may be controversial. We did go to the trouble of checking with the production staff and they seemed to ok it. Two of us come from India and one of us comes from Lebanon so we can’t afford to be racist to be honest. If we did offend him (Connick) we truly didn’t meant to.”

 Oh, ok, so you went through the trouble of checking with the production staff - and they were A-OK with it, so certainly that must overrule 400 years of history. Well done on doing your homework guys. And two of these fools are South Asian? For shame, for shame.

And to the heifer judge who thought the  sketch was “very cute” and gave Jackson Jive a score of 7….I think we just had an opening on BCB’s Top HoeBags List.