And I Slowly Fall to My Knees: ABDC Canceled

Look what the evil MTV overlords hath wrought: the cancellation of the all-time most swagtastic reality show of ever (besides RuPaul’s Drag Race, duh): America’s Best Dance Crew! Nuhuhoooo!

It’s terrible, and it’s true. After 7 glorious seasons, BCB fave ABDC will light up our lives no longer. Along with mourning the loss of stereotype-busting, positively superfly Asian American representation on TV, I’m also shedding a nostalgic and grateful tear for the show that spotlighted so many of my future ex-husbands and fap fodder (notably Quest Crew’s Victor Kim and Ryan Feng, ya big smexy galoot).

We salute you, Jabbawockeez, Kaba Modern, Quest Crew, Poreotix, and all the other b-girls, b-boys, and APIA crazy leg shitkickers.

And I hate to admit it, but I’ll even miss Mario Lopez’s corny ass, with his singularly unique brand of teeth-grinding awkwardness combined with inappropriately tight jeans.

You will be missed but not forgotten, ABDC.

Thanks to Keith Chow!

Michelle Ang Comes to the States

So this new MTV show might be a new My So-Called Life for the Mark Zuckerberg Generation, but heydidyouseethechinesegirl in this trailer?

Cause I did. And now that I know she’s a Chinese-Malaysian-Kiwi living in NYC, I’m watching Flight of the Conchords reruns to work on my accent… just in case I run into her while camped out in front of MTV Studios.

And has anyone checked out her New Zealand film My Wedding And Other Secrets? I plan to in case its a Chinese version of “Boy“, the best film of 2010.

But probs not.

Alexa Chung is Living in Williamsburg. Surprise.

Not really a news item, cause its so damn obvious that Alex Chung would move to the US (more specifically NYC) and decide to choose Willyburg as her neighborhood of choice. Why? Cause its a straight shot to the MTV Studio via the (I would never take the Goddamn) M-train? Or cause she can walk around her hood and spot MGMT lookalikes. Apparently its the latter based on this video via ARex. Not sure if you wanna sit through a few minutes of her? Read the following snippet and imagine it in a Brit accent and let me know if you already hate her or love her. Cause I can’t decide even though I wrote THIS earlier…

“Williamsburg is sort of like my lover, whereas London is more like my husband. I love my husband, and I’ll always be with him, but Williamsburg is so exciting.

Asians Can be Hip Hop Too!

Poreotix. I'm never going to remember how to spell that.

OH THE HATE! The AzNs are appropriating HIP HOP! All this dancing and poppin and lockin! Why they gotta be Asian folks? Where are all the Black folks?!? Shouldn’t Asians be doing kung fu and math homework!! Why don’t we listen to AfricanPridePrincess’s comment on the MTV.com website and have all the races in America start following our own stereotypes:

“i’ve about had it with all of these damn asians. Do they even know the origins of hip hop?”

As someone who grew up on Hip Hop, I am offended. My first maxi single was Chubb Rock’s Treat Em Right and my first CD was He’s the DJ, I’m the Rapper. So what did I do when P. Diddy asked the participants on Making the Band to memorize the lyrics to Rapper’s Delight (and fail). Cringe. So to claim Hip Hop as the province of one particular race is counter to the very idea of Hip Hop. Hip Hop was meant to empower a generation of folks that were marginalized and geographically isolated and had to express their emotions in one form or another. The outcome of all this expressionism was breaking, MCing, graffiti, and DJing, and no particular race, culture, or gender does any of these “better” than the other. Whether you’re Black, Asian, Latino, or White, as long as you got something to say, you are Hip Hop (sorry for the cliche). For every Common there’s an Eminem and MC Lyte and for every Grandmaster Flash there’s a Q-Bert and Mix Master Mike. And let’s not get started on Banksy, David Choe, or Futura. So to say we should have less Asian folks as breakers on MTV’s America’s Best Dance Crew is like saying every Jeopardy: College Edition should include 3 Asian contestants from Ivy League schools.

This is American in 2010. Our President is half Black, half White from Hawaii with a half Indonesian sister and a Chinese brother-in-law. Do you really need to reinforce stereotypes and set back the Civil Rights Movement back to the 40s?! And oh yea, the Rock Steady Crew has Asians on it now too (which is like having Asians in the Black Panthers. Wait, there were Asians in the Black Panthers?!)

Rock Steady in the 00's

So all I really gotta say is props to Poreotix for being the best crew so far on the best coast for dancers on this season’s ABDC. We live in a society where the Jabbawockeez and Fanny Pak’s of the country are made up of folks from every race, creed, and gender in the world. And its not that strange for an all Asian dance crew from Westminster, CA (pronounced Wet-Min-Ter) to make it on ABDC. Congrats.

Alameda Beauty College: The Show

This is where I live. Alameda city. Its a small island paradise off the coast of Oakland. Its population is diverse, and includes many old-timey White residents in 2-story craftsman homes alongside people of color moving in from all over the East Bay. So it doesn’t surprise me that the Alameda Beauty College is in the news nowadays because of a stupid stunt pulled by the school’s new owners who are “white, naive suburbanites” trying to get rich and famous by pitching a reality show for the school.

From KTVU (peep here to watch a video news report) regarding the content of the show’s pitch, which was registered with the Writers Guild of America:

The document described the proposed show saying: “The students are mostly inner-city, unwed mothers taking advantage of government subsidies for a better life. The instructors can’t find any other job that offers ‘bennies’ [benefits]. The new owners are white, naive suburbanites bleeding cash and trying to keep it all under control.”

In situations like this, the owners should just shut up and move on you’d think. No. The married couple running the school keep mouthing off to defend themselves, but end up digging themselves deeper and deeper. Tracey Becker:

“It wasn’t meant to put these people on tv,” explained Becker. “If we were to do a reality show, everybody would sign a release.”

“These people”, Becker? Seriously? Please stop talking and consider selling the place and opening up a similar business in Antioch or Brentwood. A place for “people like you” (my quotes) to run a Beauty School reality show like an MTV Real World season: all-White.

from the legend herself: sherdizzle!

Michael Cera on Jersey Shore

I think I’m the only one I know that doesn’t watch this show. But I’ve heard enough about Snooki and Co. through osmosis to see a great publicity stunt when I see one:

I’d like to see this clip on the Youth in Revolt Blu Ray in 10 years as an extra and see if people still remember Jersey Shore. And what’s up with Michael Cera in another awkward teen comedy? And why do we keep eating it up every year? I say we boycott him until the Arrested Development movie comes out!!!

THIS JUST IN: Shane Sparks Arrested for Child Molestation

KTLA LOS ANGELES — Shane Sparks, a judge on the MTV show “America’s Best Dance Crew”, has been arrested for alleged child molestation.

Officials with the Los Angeles Police Department say they arrested Melvin Shane Sparks in North Hollywood around 8 a.m. Friday on a felony warrant charging him with molestation. The alleged molestation took place in 1994, according to a criminal complaint.

The 35-year-old Sparks, who was also a choreographer on “So You Think You Can Dance”, has been charged with 9 counts of molestation, including a lewd act upon a child, which is a felony.

Sparks is said to have been at least 10 years older than the victim.

Oral copulation is among the many lewd acts Sparks is accused of.

He is being held on $590,000 bail.

Earlier this year another choreographer from “So You Think You Can Dance” was arrested. Alex Da Silva was charged with rape.