Happy New Year! According to the Year of the Dragon, 2012 is a time to be bold, start a new business, and pop out babies (and if you’re still single, to once again gloat over the fact that you get to hoard red pockets instead of give them out. The mun-mun-muny, the yen and the pesos!).
BCB wishes all our readers a 2012 filled with happiness, success, and just a tad less to bitch about. And Mr. President himself wishes you a very happy New Year too:
恭喜發財! Gong Hay Faht Choy! Chúc mừng năm mới!
What better way to ring in the Year of the Rabbit than Jason Kidd in traditional Chinese garb? Connecting the East to the West, Peak Shoes style (there’s a CHINESE Bball shoe?!), is one thing, but why do most of the players gotta be Bay Area connected? Does that mean ex-Warriors get more attention cause Oakland is geographically that much closer to China than LA??? Want more from Peak Shoes? Check out Jason Richardson, Mickael Pietrus, Shane Battier and more here. And enjoy Beno Udrih wishing Chinese people Happy New Year below. Thanks to A Rex and KidJaundice.
Happy New Year BCBers! Chúc Mừng Nǎm Mới! Gung Hay Faht Choy! 새해 복 많이 받으세요!
Lunar New Year is most excellent for so many reasons. Asian folks know how to throw a party (for like a month, yo): the banquets, the family visits, the lion dances, the pocket cash, the firecrackers, the Henny.
It’s also a day when I feel validated in my singlehood through the receipt of loads of lei see for yet another year (maybe if I never get married I’ll never have to give other people money!). I can also justifiably dress head to toe in my favorite color: red dress, red bra, red shoes, and if anyone calls me a trollop I can play the New Year’s card on their culturally ignant asses.
And speaking of red shoes, here’s a pair made by artist Louie Gong, in celebration of the Year of the Rabbit:
Happy New Year — party like it’s 4709! (and a very early happy new year to my Khmer & Lao peeps…so can I get an invite to the party in April? Hello?)
This weekend is the New Year, so get ready to clean house, stash red pockets, and have random white people scream “Gung Hay Fat Choy!” at you. Kinda like Gwenyth Paltrow here. You may have heard of GOOP, her pretentious lifestyle newsletter that is choc full o’ helpful tips on the best $5000 spas, organic flax seed salads, and how to maintain a skeletor figure.
In GOOP’s latest “Year of the Tiger” issue — Gwinnie, with the help of some fancy New York White lady who is an “expert” and “scholar” in Chinese herbal medicine, acupuncture and “ancient texts”– offers sage advice on the meaning behind Chinese New Year and some other mystic Chinky stuff for your harmony and chi and blah blah New Age blah (Lainey Gossip also has a great commentary here).
GOOP provides a recipe for congee (what, no pork or fish skin? ILLEGAL!), some random tea, and a um…an essential oils and salt bath. BATHS? Chinese people don’t take BATHS. Maybe a squat in a basin yeah, but certainly not a wasteful, dirty bath in a big ass tub with some salt and milk — which is for food, not your warrrshing.
And what’s up with this Black Sesame and Goji Berry Tea recipe?:
Is there SUGAR in that? That sounds pretty tasty. Anyone who’s had real Chinese herb remedies knows that in order to be effective – instead of wussy shit like berries and brown sugar (ugh, hippies!) – there’s got to be some combo of animal hoof, tree bark, or dried root and taste like a burnt bike tire with a gritty swampwater texture so bitter and pungent you gotta plug your nose and chase it down with a handful of raisins (if you’re lucky). SUGAR?!? WHERE DID THIS BITCH GET HER LICENSE, IN CANDY GUMDROP LAND?
And this is just precious:
Smile, going back to a moment when you felt truly happy and content. Bring that feeling up into your whole body and then use this same smile to smile at yourself. You can choose an area that is giving you trouble: is it your digestion, your back or your shoulder? It could be used step by step for your entire body from your fingers to your toes, or directed to a specific problem area. Every time your shoulders feel tight, smile at them. Try to smile all day and see how you feel.
Hmmm….this really is nothing like the advice I’ve received from my fam or doctor when I complain about aches and pains. It usually goes along the lines of: SUCK IT UP. Life is hard. It’s probably due your dirty habits like drinking cold things and staying up late and disobeying your Ma. Here’s the cure: go sweep the floor with a tiny broom until those aches melt away. Also, if I walked around New York “smiling at myself” all day I’d either wind up punched in the face or involuntarily committed to Mt. Sinai.
So, I guess my point here is don’t let some hi-falutin’ celebrities tell you how to celebrate your shit, even if they study “ancient texts” and speak Chinese better than you do. You can’t polish a turd…and after all, goop is just a fancy word for turd. Happy New Year BCBers!
Its gonna be hard as hell to write a review of a book like this without spoilers. So let me just say this book has gently nestled its way into my Murakami top 3, just under Wind Up Bird Chronicles and barely inching above Norwegian Wood. This means a lot cause I'm a fanatic over his ish and spend way too much money on multiple copies of his books... If you're a veteran Murakami reader, you'll love how long this book is. More time before the Murakami-withdrawal hits. You'll also like hearing from a female protagonist for the first time. If this is your first Murakami book, I'd read one of his books with less magical realism first, After Dark or Kafka on the Shore then move up to 1Q84 about 3-4 books later. Also, you might wanna buy the digital version (although the US hardcopy if a sight to behold) cause this book be phat!
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