Archive for hipster

Ey! Oh! Hipster!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on January 20, 2011 by aznheartthrob

Eh! Oye! You a hipster? I sho’ hope not!

Terry Richardson & Dov Charney: Perverts in Crime

Posted in Douchebaggary, fucktards, Hipster Racism, Old white dudes with hawt young Asian chicks, white ppl booshit with tags , , , , , on March 25, 2010 by Cbruhs

Pervert alert! Well, said alert is not really breaking news…but recently several models – including supermodel Rie Rasmusson and Jamie Peck — have come forward with frank and graphic allegations of sexual harassment against fashion photographer Terry Richardson (arguably the godfather of the VICEAMERICANAPPARELIRONICFACIALHAIR hipster ideology, along with fellow old letch Dov Charney, who I’m including in this post because they’re so similar they’re often confused with each other) .

Fake ad, real quote (thanks Lxy)

More from Jezebel:

Jamie Peck, who was 19 at the time, shot with Richardson at his studio twice. Although she was prepared and willing to pose for him nude, she writes, “This man has built his business/pleasure empire on breaking the cardinal rule of asking a young girl you don’t know to come over to your house and hang out naked: don’t be a fucking creep.”

Before I could say “whoa, whoa, whoa!” dude was wearing only his tattoos and waggling the biggest dick I’d ever seen dangerously close to my unclothed person (granted, I hadn’t seen very many yet). “Why don’t you take some pictures of me?” he asked. Um, sure.

It gets worse. “I’m not sure how he maneuvered me over to the couch, but at some point he strongly suggested I touch his terrifying penis,” writes Peck.

This is where I zoom out on the situation. I can remember doing this stuff, but even at the time, it was sort of like watching someone else do it, someone who couldn’t possibly be me because I would never touch a creepy photographer’s penis. The only explanation I can come up with is that he was so darn friendly and happy about it all, and his assistants were so stoked on it as well, that I didn’t want to be the killjoy in the room. My new fake friends would’ve been bummed if I’d said no.

I must have said something about finals, because he told me, “if you make me come, you get an A.” So I did! Pretty fast, I might add. All over my left hand. His assistant handed me a towel.

While Richardson’s reputation has since been no secret (he’s been quoted as saying: “It’s not who you know, it’s who you blow. I don’t have a hole in my jeans for nothing“), his fame and influence with magazines like Vogue and designers like Miu Miu make it difficult for young models trying to establish their careers to come out against him publicly.

I’ve also seen this skeezebag many a time walking his dog in the Soho and Bowery area (he lives on Lafayette between Broome and Grand, my roommate informs me), blatantly scoping out any and every young female passerby.

OK, Richardson’s conduct and Charney’s opinions on women are pretty vile, but so what? How does this affect us as Asian Americans (and women)? Welp, aside from this behavior being despicable in itself, unfortunately it’s not contained to photo shoots or the models they “work” with.

Every American Apparel billboard and soft-porny ad on the back of VICE showcasing a jailbaitish Asian girl with legs splayed open (which seems to be the flavor du jour) is a reflection of their pervert penchants and the huge influence they’ve had on fashion and marketing. Which — whether you like it or not –  sends the message that yellow and brown women are interchangeable sexdolls here to fulfill whiteboy hipster fantasies. We don’t just sell the product, we are the product.  That’s the message I get when I look at this, and when I look at Asian chicks strutting around Williamsburg wearing the same outfits in the ads.

Our images are not controlled by us, but by some old scumbags – including one who’s M.O. is to waggle his dick in your face and impose an HJ before having you pose nude to sell hipster merchandise. And a whole generation of douchebag yippes think this shit is cool and edgy, and this excellent portrayal of women of color goes on and on and on.

More on the Richardson allegations at Jezebel, where contributor Jenna Sauers (a former model) is fed up and offering to post accounts from anyone who’s had a similar experience.

Model Minorites: Brother Sharp

Posted in AUDACITY, fucktards, model minority with tags , , , , , , , on March 22, 2010 by Cbruhs

Lemme just start this post by sayin’: DERELICTE!!!

Best movie ever made aside, this is pretty unbelievable: a mentally unstable homeless man in Ningbo has unwittingly (and unwillingly, judging from his reaction to being approached by fans) become a model and fashion icon.

Specifically, thousands of online admirers — who’ve dubbed him “Brother Sharp and China’s Coolest Man” –  swoon over his rakish movie-star looks and unconventional fashion sense (marked by a splash of ladies’ haberdashery), a unique look he’s cultivated via…dumpster diving. And being starving and cold and insane.

Seriously people, STFU. This includes you, Vivienne Westwood, with your horribly tasteless “Fashion Made Homeless” runway collection.

Fashion Made Horrible

And you, scrubby, smelly, irony-obsessed, L-train-infesting hipsters.

Yeah, maybe Brother Sharp bears a passing resemblance to Takeshi Kaneshiro, and his ensemble is a cut above duct-taped garbage bags and shredded sweats, but can someone just give a flying fark about this guy’s basic needs?

Thanks Char Char!

Wes Anderson Does it Again

Posted in Hipster Racism, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on December 7, 2009 by aznheartthrob

I’ve mentioned my love/hate relationship with Wes Anderson in the past, and I’ve even BcB tweeted it when I watched the Fantastic Mr. Fox. But I finally figured out why the subtle fetishizing of people of color in ALL of Wes Anderson films really bug me. Whether its the Vietnam War reenactment in a school play at Rushmore Academy or the Filipino pirates in A Life Aquatic, Wes Anderson likes to fuck with folks. He likes to joke with people in their face, and since all the characters in his movie are in the know, its all an act. BUT. One problem. The people of color in his movies aren’t given the pleasure of being on the inside of the joke.

Poor Danny Glover in The Royal Tennenbaums doesn’t understand why he’s treated like an outsider in a family he has adopted as his own. Margaret Yang would do anything to please Max, so she doesn’t realize what it means for her to don a Viet Cong outfit in his mock war play. And The Darjeeling Limited? There are four people in the entire country of India during that movie that get that their in a movie: Anjelica Houston, Owen Wilson, Jason Schwartzman, and Adrian Brody. Everyone else is one-dimensional, brown folk just there for scenery, probably thinking Anderson is filming a documentary about trains.

And what about his latest film? How can Anderson bring in some subtle racism into a stop animation film about rabbits and foxes and humans? *Spoiler* By bringing in a one dimensional wolf that is the only “animal” in the film. It doesn’t talk, it doesn’t walk on two legs, and its the scariest thing on screen. And if you didn’t get the personification of the wolf character in the film, just for good measure, Anderson has the wolf raise a fist, Black Panther style.

Why does he do this? He knows his audience consists of graduate school educated, been to Paris on holiday, McLaren car seat in the back of an Audi A4, New Yorker reading yipsters, so they can read his subtext. All I know is that its getting harder and harder to watch his films as he gets cockier and cockier. Maybe its because he moved to Paris (this goes for you too Sedaris) or because deep down inside, he’s a Texan.

Yipsters: The New Wave of Gentrification

Posted in please!, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 14, 2009 by aznheartthrob

As a trained urban planner from some very very far left schools, I am taught two major lessons: gentrification with displacement is bad but investments in infrastructure and development in poor neighborhoods is good. So I am fully aware that the very places I love to hang out are the very places that are getting gentrified (sometimes with displacement and sometimes without). We’re talking The Mission in SF, Silverlake in LA, Temescal in Oakland and wherever there’s an art show in Brooklyn. So as I’m sitting there at some new bar filled with skinny jean fitted, thick black glass wearing, Catcher in the Rye poking out of the back pocket perpetual grad students, I am fully aware that the bar just opened up where a vacuum shop once thrived 40 years earlier. And that the taco truck outside, Ritmo Latino store next door, or Chinese herbalist across the street may not survive the onslaught of graphic designers, children’s book writers, and post-docs that will soon overtake said neighborhood. So it troubles me greatly (while I’m sipping on my lychee martini, Miller High Life, or Kettle One Grayhound).

Highland Park: The York Pub (where AzN once dropped $230 for a round of 18 Jager Bombs) vs. Elsa's Bakey (I think Elsa is standing with her arms crossed, cut off by the photo)

Highland Park in LA: The York Pub (where AzN once dropped $230 for a round of 18 Jager Bombs) vs. Elsa's Bakey (I think Elsa is standing with her arms crossed, cut off by the photo, see arrow)

So the point of this blog post is really an apology to the folks that were living in these neighborhoods before urban planners paved the way for these yipsters (hipster yuppies). Yipsters are folks that have the money and youth of a yuppie, but the aesthetics and tastes of a hipster. So they might roll around with a Maclaren baby stroller, but they’re also willing to step into a Mexican bakery for some steaming fresh pigs in a blanket.

While the profession looks down on outright gentrification with displacement (can someone say China Basin or Japantown?), urban planners laud the yipster takeover. The kind that occurs when a really cool bike shop (like Manifesto near MacArthur in Oakland) or a damn good bakery (Bakesale Betty in Temescal Oakland) opens up in a really really bad neighborhood. There is no redevelopment investment or even a Starbucks. A few daring few yipsters (maybe they’re really damn smart people that made a lot of money on some business and wanted to follow their lifelong dream of opening up a hip comic book shop *COUGH* Secret Headquarters in Sunset Junction *COUGH*) decide to put a good business in an area with not much else.

I’m not sure if this phenomenon is an entirely good thing or an inherently bad thing, but I know eventually the neighborhood will turn, and the turn will be towards gentrification. Whether or not that leads to displacement is another thing (or if the residents that stay enjoy the economic benefits). But one thing is certain, urban planning folks love it cause yipsters not only spend a shitload of money on old timey bikes and fair trade coffee and furniture with tons of Umlauts, they also like the ethnic spots that were always there. And if you want proof, check out a little rag called the New York Times or a no-name nobody named Bill Fulton (planning God) writing about the next yipster neighborhood in LA: Highland Park. Fulton actually uses the term HIPSTER in all its academic glory. The End is near.

Echo Park. Check. Silverlake. Check. Highland Park? Hmmmm...

Echo Park. Check. Silverlake. Check. Highland Park? TBD.

Friday Fuckery: Hipster Bike Messenger vs Unarmed Asian Man

Posted in booshit, Hipster Racism with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on July 24, 2009 by aznheartthrob

Because a hipster on a fixie is so emaciated from all the Coca-Cola coke and skittles he be imbibing (to fit into skinny jeans, presumably), he needs a Kryptonite bike lock (the only thing big enough to bulge out of this dude’s jorts – jean shorts) to beat up on an unarmed Asian dude on the streets of NYC. Granted, we don’t know the whole story, and the homeless Asian dude looks like he’s following him. But the (white) bike messenger looks like a cornbread, white toast, muffin (I like the high carb references to white people) biker bicyclist from Connecticut, so why he gotta be slamming people in the face with a bike lock instead of biking away? At least he didn’t have the Kryptonite lock with a chain attached

from buzzfeed.

Carnivorous Women vs Herbivorous Boys (Japan Only)

Posted in Bitch please! with tags , , , , , , , , , , on June 22, 2009 by aznheartthrob

So apparently, as always, where there’s a quirky character trait that we may call out in one of our friends, like… say… metrosexuality, there inevitably is a whole movement that follows in Japan. In Japan they call it Herbivorous Boys and its old news from January that I’m only finding out about now (CNN Asia Article).

Metrosexual, Hipster, whatever the term...

Metrosexual, Hipster, Herbivorous Boys, whatever the term is...

The author who coined the term, Maki Fukaswa, says it describes men who are redefining what it is to be a man in Japan these days, where masculinity once reigned supreme (until now). They are called “Herbivorous Boys” since they are not interested in flesh. They are typically in their 20s and 30s, and usually surrounded by females because they believe that friendship without sex can exist between men and women.

There are apparently three reasons for the shift in Japan according to this article (where it is believed that 20% of the 20-30 year old male population fits under this category):  There are fewer children leading to less sibling rivalry/exam competition, they were brought up after the bubble economy of the 90s burst, and they follow the motto, “The nail that sticks up, gets hammered down”. This resulted in a population of men who were more delicate and highly averse to being hurt and willing to settle for less.

The best part has to be the rise of the female counterpart, which (surprise, surprise), they’re calling the carnivorous women. These women dress up like a famous model/actress (aren’t they all slashes?) named Yuri Ebihara (see picture below) who started a movement based on her nickname: Edi-chan. The “movement” is basically women copying outfits in magazines, following “How to get a man” guides, wearing girly pink, low-cut outfits at dating parties, and serving food all to get guys’ attention.

I'd love a bite of that. And the burger too... I'm just sayin'!

I'd love a bite of that. And the burger too... I'm just sayin'!

But apparently, all that work doesn’t work on the Herbivorous Boys, who are way more concerned with getting hurt and won’t approach females. These boys aren’t willing to take the initial step, a leap of faith (and the inevitably fall that follows).

My opinion on this? Hurray I say! Let’s flip the table on women, cause I’m tired of being the hunter. I’d rather be gathering women off the berry bushes then running around with Goose and Iceman trying to net me’s a womans at da club. At the very least, this will lead to less suicides on the Japanese subways, right? And leaves more meat for the carnivores…………..

Wolves vs Unicorns

Posted in Awesomeness, Bitch please! with tags , , , , , , on May 30, 2009 by aznheartthrob

It’s official, once you’ve gotten into the Washington Post because of a witty tongue in cheek review on Amazon and viral videos are circling the internets about your awesomeness, you have officially gone from ironic cool to played out status faster than Zachary Quinto can order up an iced double shot, no foam, orange infused textured soy milk cappuccino at Cafe Intelligentsia.

So now that the iconic ironic wolves sweatshirt has gone down the fashion drain (expect wolves sweatshirts to be clearanced out at Metropark and sold at your  local Millers Outpost, if you still got them), what’s next? My prediction: unicorns. Not to be mistaken with the Pegasus trend of the early 90′s, the unicorn will replace the wormhole void that the ironic wolf left in the Williamsburg and Echo Park communities.

Click on this legendary Unicorn to see why Unicorns p0wn all other animals.

Click on this legendary Unicorn to see why these mythical creatures p0wn all other animals.

So throw those things on eBay (it’s sooooo early 2009!) and let some poor sap in Kansas City impress his Flight of the Conchord season 1 DVD watching friends heading to a MGMT concert. And rock that unicorn v-neck that will make you look more futuristic than a pair of Kanye designed Nike LeBrons in NY Knicks Blue and Orange.

Thanks cbruhs for the videos. It was just the proof I needed to confirm the dominance of the unicorn over all other creatures, mythical or not.

Asian Hipster Grifter Returns!

Posted in Bitch please! with tags , , , , , , , , on May 16, 2009 by aznheartthrob
Not the Hipster Grifter

Not the Hipster Grifter

Well, not really. I saw this “wanted” ad off Bedford and 7th in Brooklyn the other day. Although she’s got the glasses and bangs and probably the tattoos, this one is either playing off the Hipster Grifter or Williamsburg is just full of these drones. The economy must be bad if this out of work artist has to advertise her ish like this. And the state of the American art community must be worst off if she thinks this would work since all the Vice Magazine Do’s/Don’t rejects commuters walking by the Bedford Station are probably artists themselves, competing for all the same jobs.

Here’s the text in her ad if you can’t read it:

I WANTED
For Questioning Concerning the Offense of NY Artist

Sex: Female
Height: 5′
Hair: Dark
Race: Asian
Weight: 110
Eyes: Brown
Age: 20-30
Build: Thin:
Complexion: N/A

I WANTED!!!!!
I am an artist
I have no job
I have no place to work
I have no money
And I am leaving the country
All I have are my BFA and MFA diplomas

I am an artist
I’ve tried making websites
I’ve tried making blogs
I’ve tried call-for-artists entries
I’ve tried submissions

I’ve tried applying to residencies
I’ve tried to survive in New York
All I have left are artists friends who are in the same situation

I wanted a job
I wanted a place to work
I wanted some money
I wanted to stay in New York
And I am leaving the country

Thanks for the economy

Thanks for my American Bachelor’s and Master’s Degree

Wait a minute, after reading this, is she trying to get a job or a white boyfriend?! And she ain’t got any contact info on there, so what if I was a rich white art philanthropist with a cutesy AzN hipster (minus the grifter) fetish and I wanted to contact her? Should I post up another wanted ad around all the L-Train stations? I’m just sayin’.

Urban Outfitter Founder is a Staunch Conservative – What?!

Posted in Hipster Racism with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on April 25, 2009 by aznheartthrob

I was going to start a new category called “Hipster Hypocrisy”, but I can’t imagine another blog post ever needing that tag… So bottomline is that Richard Hayne, Founder of Urban Outfitters (or “Dick” Hayne if you went to UPenn, where the founder started Urban Outfitters) hates the gays. Huh? You’re probably thinking back on your last trip to Urban and wondering if you saw a pro-gay marriage shirt alongside the Big Lebowski shirts (cause BL is the new Swingers for this generation’s hipster movie cool),  “Things Go Better With Coke” shirts (I get it, its Coca-Cola! Not, umm…), “Pittsburgh: City of Champions” shirts (I get it! Its hipster ironic cause Pittsburgh actually sucks balls!), or anti-Bush/Pro-Obama shirts (wh-what? I guess this is where the hypocrisy comes in! They even have the nerve to use a NY Times article clipping for the Obama shirt! urgh).

But the worst offense was letting shirts like “New Mexico: Cleaner Than Regular Mexico” pass on by despite all the racial steretypes and sexual innuendos that are typically on Urban shirts, but not allowing a Pro-Gay Marriage shirt to sell after one week on the shelf despite the fact that there was little negative fanfare about the message. The shirt just says “I Support Gay Marriage” in the obligatory all-over print, yet it was pulled from California shelves for only one possible reason: The Founder, tricky Dick Hayne. Apparently, he responded by saying the shirt was selling and threw in “but my CEO’s gay!” Right, cause after ONE WEEK you know the shirts not going to sell… 

20081208_samesex_250x375

But I guess SOME people knew all about this, cause in August of last year a group of “anti-hipster hooligans” destroyed the inside of an Urban Outfitter in Milwaukee.  But I get it. Fine. Dick, you were once a liberal when you graduated college. You originally named your first store The Free People Store. And some of us stay progressive, while others follow Churchill’s words: 

“Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has no heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.”

But this doesn’t mean you can sit up there in your office and sell us this Obama shirt, and this Obama shirt, and this Obama shirt, and this Pro-Communist shirt, and this anti-Bush shirt, and this “America: Under New Management” shirt, with nary a message that supports any of your own views and think I won’t call out your ass for being a hypocrite. 

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