Hello Kitty X Hooters

Apparently it was inevitable that the Hello Kitty New World Order would eventually include questionably-themed chain restaurants…the predominant among them being motherluvin’ HOOTERS (in Japan).

And the first 1,000 customers who go to Hooters Tokyo and order uh, “The Volcano of Love” special Valentine’s parfait get Hello Kitty Hooters pins. Yippee!!

All this HK cross-branding is really starting to destroy my wholesome childhood memories of buying HK pencils and stickers and other useless, yet nonsexualized crap. I mean, HK doesn’t even have a mouth, let alone A PAIR OF JUGS fer Chrissakes…so WHY is she dressed in that loathsome, vile uniform of tan hose/white Reeboks/hazmat coochie cutters? You’re better than that, Hello Kitty!!

Who exactly is the audience for this marketing?

Confusing. And unnecessary. I would very much like to eat that parfait though.

Thanks Char Char!

Source

Friday Fuckery: Hello Thunderkitties

I want one of these shirts for each day of the week. Might be a bit too Ka-yoote for some of you, but I appreciate a good HK/80s pop culture mash-up.

The artist Seven Hundred has Tshirts for sale here. Now if someone would just take a “Hello Thundertitties” concept and run with it…

via The Bite Daily

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Hello Kitty Wine, Ya’ll!

Two things that make me crazy (with delight!): Hello Kitty. Booze. Together at last! It’s a beautiful thing, people.

Altho it may look like cheap Arbor Mist hooch from the packaging (which would be A-OK by me), the wines are actually DOC certified (Vino a Denominazione di Origine Controllata). Translation: the wines are made in well-defined regions and following very specific rules of production…which means Hello Kitty Vino is not only adorable, it’s some high-quality shit you can chug with your pinky out!

Here are some tasting notes for the four types from Innovation Spirits, which will be marketing the wine in the States:

Hello Kitty Sparkling Brut Rosé – A deep reddish pink sparkling rose made from 100% Pinot Noir that has a frothy mousse as well as a pretty nose of rose petal and red currant scents.

Hello Kitty Sparkling “Sweet Pink” (Half Size) – This semi-sweet sparkler sports a pale pink hue and has very delicate bubbles.

2008 Hello Kitty Angel White – This is a fresh, very “blanc” white wine made entirely from Pinot Noir free run juice.

2006 Hello Kitty Devil Red – Garnet red with brickish highlights, this is a classically rendered Pinot Noir that presents a seductive bouquet of wild flowers and forest aromas.

I don’t know what “brickish” means other than the way my head will feel the day after drinking a bottle of each…but overall, these wines sound mighty classy!

And why the hell not? The power that is HK has already united with vibrators, waffle makers, and men’s draws, so it was only a matter of time until she was paired with foiyne wines. And hopefully only a little longer until they come out with a Hello Maker’s. Fingers crossed!

In specialty wine & liquor stores throughout the Western United States soon, or you can purchase directly through their website over the next month.

Thanks Char Char!

Hello Kitty Bling Bling PMP

PMP stands for Portable Music Player (what else were you thinking?!). And the Bling^2 is cause its got all kinds of shiny. And Hello Kitty cause that’s what it is:

And in case you’re wondering, yes, its a real MP3 player licensed by Sanrio and made by iRiver. I don’t know when/how all this Hello Kitty madness will end. Maybe soon, hopefully not, probably never. But its safe to say Sanrio will stay iconic and since it reached the height of fine art, Hello Kitty will be with us for a long long time.

Friday Fuckery: Hello Twitty

Happy first Friday Fuckery of 2010! Yes, I was remiss in posting Friday Fuckery last week on the 1st, cause I think it’s bad luck to drop the F-bomb on the first day of the new year. HA! Actually, I was too busy nursing a headache and watching the Lock Down marathon on msnbc. Did you know that lady prisons are nothing like Chicago?

Anyway, for today’s Fuckery, here’s a lovely new year’s pun involving our fave cartoon cat (besides Garfield of course), which is fitting — since I spent New Year’s Day acknowledging the pain in my sides and the important and courageous work my kindeys perform every happy hour, bottomless brunch, and Weekend’s Eve.

Reminds me of a charming little shirt I see at the vendor stands in New York, which makes me want to gouge out my eyes every time:

But please, don’t stop the HK punwear there…let’s keep a good thing goin! Holdin’ my breath for this one:

Hello Darlin’! HELLLLOOO Conway Twitty!

via Reddit.com

Friday Fuckery: GaGa Kitty

hello-gaga-11950-1256270137-102

Hello Lady GaGa,

I kinda am in awe of and hate you at the same time for living my dreams. I mean — in my head — this is my prom, wedding, and Inauguration gown combined. Have you been eavesdropping on my thoughts? You do look mighty bitchin’, even if your cleave is a bit lopsided.  Much preferable to that Kermit monstrosity, though I honestly wish you woulda stuck to that instead of stealing my thunder. My heart twinges with bitterness.

Yours truly,

Cbruhs

p.s. So, um….could I uh, borrow that dress next Friday? I got this blind date….

Herro Kitty Turns 35 Years Old

Herro copy

I can’t believe Hello Kitty’s been around for 35 years? I still remember heading to Eastridge Mall to watch my cousin Aim pay $2 to spin that Sanrio wheel and “winning” a pencil and eraser. And now for her 35th year anniversary, Sanrio is having an exhibit in SoCal at the Royal/T Café/Shop/Art Space in Culver City from October 23 through November 15, 2009.

Part of the press release:

Hello Kitty has long been a muse to artists & designers. In honor of Hello Kitty’s 35th Anniversary celebration, SANRIO, Inc. is bringing an event to the U.S. like nothing America has seen before. ‘Three Apples’ is a multi-dimensional exhibition and celebration of all things Hello Kitty running from October 23 to November 15 that will kick-off with a VIP media event and be followed by unique displays, an art sale for charity and special fan events that will be open to the public, free of charge – all celebrating this beloved pop icon! The celebration, at Royal/T in Culver City, CA, is targeted at Hello Kitty fans of all ages.

What? A White Guy Designed That?!

Yello Face is the Latest Fashion Accessory

Yellow Face is the Latest Fashion Accessory

Stop it. Cause we know. Your sh!t ain’t FUBU. Its designed by the fetishists, fakers, and money fienders that you are. Designs by them, and meant entirely to be consumed by others. From the tweeners in love with Gwen’s fashion in her videos featuring so-called “Harajuku” girls (who clearly are JA’s at best, but most likely light skinned Filipinas, recent UC Irvine dance team grads) to the post-modern hipster Hello Kitty lover that appreciates a good geisha cartooned logo tattoo cause: “Hey, I’ve been to Tokyo, like, twice, for that design conference, you know?” to the comic artist that “married an aZn girl and was so inspired by her pretty eyes and button nose that he HAD to create a comic book” for 14-year old boys that are into octopus attacking school girl Hentai videos and mp4 copies of Ninja Scroll.

Don’t mistake Harujuku Lovers for a Japanese brand. Don’t confuse cute adorable Asian characters like Domo with the likes of Tokidoki (created and distributed by Gaijins!). And don’t buy Shi if you’re looking for some real manga. Know the intent behind the image you choose to rock on your shirt. Cause there’s a thin line between a racist Asian Yellow faced exoticized  characture (peep the underwear the Japanese girl is wearing to figure out where the artist is from) and a cute, adorable, Japanese cartoon:

Tokidoki vs Hello Kitty & Friends

Tokidoki vs Hello Kitty & Friends

Seriously?! How the F does Tokidoki get away with this in 2009:

Yellow Face! Yellow Face!

Yellow Face! Yellow Face!