Archive for Friday Fuckery

Friday Fuckery: Brenda Song + Trace Cyrus Gettin Marrieds

Posted in Barf Me Out, Creeptastic, Friday Fuckery, Old white dudes with hawt young Asian chicks with tags , , , , on October 14, 2011 by Cbruhs

Today’s Friday Fuckery is brought to you by the decision of these two to take the first step in the magical journey towards divorce: actress Brenda Song (Disney’s The Suite Life of Zack & Cody and the role of psycho Asian tramp in The Social Network) and Trace Cyrus (brother of Miley, “musician”, high school dropout, and exemplar of poor decision-making).

Again, there is just no excuse for that breastplate. Maybe if you're an extra in a "Dances With Wolves" remake. Still, though.

Seriously.

That is all.

Friday Fuckery: Oriental Demons!!

Posted in Creeptastic, Friday Fuckery, WTF?! with tags , , on October 7, 2011 by Cbruhs

At first I thought this video clip on “Oriental demons” was about Michelle Malkin, but it turns out these god-fearin folks are talking about none other than those much-beloved Pokémons!

Y’know, sometimes I too have been accused of turning into an “Oriental demon” after a few shots of whateversinfrontofme, and am also easily led into fighting random street animals. I hope the Club36 Watchmen don’t come after my candy ass! Blame it on the Goose, blame it on Henny!

p.s. – WHERE do you get 100 ravens?

via angry asian man

thanks Loubs!

Friday Fuckery: Judge Upholds Alabama’s Extreme Anti-Immigrant Law

Posted in Bitch please!, Friday Fuckery, fucktards, white ppl booshit with tags , , , , , , , on September 30, 2011 by Cbruhs
photo: Robert Sutton/AP
On Wednesday, federal judge Sharon Lovelace Blackburn issued an opinion striking down parts of Alabama’s newly-enacted anti-immigrant law HB 56, which has been dubbed “SB 1070 on steroids”.  The opinion blocked several of the law’s provisions, including one that would have made it a crime for undocumented immigrants to work, a provision that would have made it illegal to house or give a ride to an undocumented immigrant, and a provision that would have prevented lawfully present refugees and asylees as well as undocumented students from enrolling in universities.
Judge Blackburn
However, Blackburn’s ruling rejected the Department of Justice’s challenge to other pieces of HB 56, by upholding a provision of the law requiring K-12 public schools to determine and track the immigration status of public school students, and to report the number of undocumented students in their district to the state.
Blackburn also upheld a portion of the law that makes any business contract held by an undocumented immigrant un-enforceable, and makes it a felony offense for undocumented immigrants to apply for a business license, driver’s license, or license plates. And — this is huge — like Arizona, Alabama law enforcement officers will have the unprecedented power to act as immigration agents and question and detain anyone they “suspect” may be an undocumented immigrant (aka legalized racial profiling).
photo: Campus Progress
Advocates have been fiercely protesting since HB56 was first proposed, and The DOJ filed an appeal to Blackburn’s ruling today. DOJ also requested an injunction to halt the enforcement of HB 56, both on the basis that immigration law is a federal matter that cannot be determined by states.
As it stands, HB 56 is even more harsh and radical than SB 1070, and could create a crisis worse than seen in Arizona last year. Reportedly, Latino and immigrant families are already packing up and leaving the state, which is not only devastating for communities, but bad for business as well.
HB 56 is outright intimidation and harassment against immigrant families and people of color — against educating their children, contributing to the local economy, or even driving and traveling without fear of detention. HB 56 could also encourage even more copycat laws from anti-immigrant politicians trying to get votes, as well as normalizes racial profiling and furthers a culture of hate against immigrants. This is Fuckery and Foolery of the highest order. Is that what we want America to stand for?
source: WHNT 19, Think Progress.org

Friday Fuckery: Southeast Asian Cuisine by Chipotle

Posted in Appropriation, AUDACITY, For Your Consideration, Friday Fuckery with tags , , , on September 16, 2011 by Cbruhs

photo by Jamie R. Liu/DCist

Chipotle, the national burrito chain seen across the street from every frickin’ college campus, is expanding its model into Southeast Asian food. Its new venture (with the first location in DC) is called ShopHouse Southeast Asian Kitchen. And like its father company, ShopHouse will feature quick, viewable, assembly-line preparation.

Jamie R. Liu/DCist

From a DCist review:

Diners can choose between two entree styles: bowls ($6.59-7.50) and banh mi ($6.14-7.05). The protein selections include grilled chicken satay, pork and chicken meatballs, grilled steak or organic tofu. For those who select bowls, this is nestled atop your choice of jasmine rice, brown rice or rice noodles. This is then accompanied by a vegetable, sauce, garnish and topping. The banh mi in its baguette is topped with green papaya slaw, mint and crushed peanuts. You can then drink up on BeerLao, Singha, Chang, and Dogfish Head 60 Minute or the usual selection of granola-y ginger ales, iced tea or young coconut water.

Jamie R. Liu/DCist

Looks like another establishment is trying to hop on the banh mi bandwagon ($7 bucks?! Seriously? Even the banh mi at Michael Bao Huynh’s fancy-schmanse NY-based Baoguette are $5 to $8).

And maybe I’m being a total snob, but I never got into Chipotle and its cafeteria-like, causal-cum-healthy dining approach. I know it uses “naturally-raised meats” and shit, but I’d rather just go to a local taco truck or family Mexican joint (or shit, even Taco Bell if my system demands fast food). Likewise, I think I’d rather support a better, cheaper (and Asian-owned) Viet deli or restaurant than a company that reminds me of Subway.

via Gothamist and DCist

Friday Fuckery: Ghosts with Shit Jobs

Posted in Appropriation, AUDACITY, Blame China!, Friday Fuckery, Hipster Racism with tags , , , , on September 2, 2011 by Cbruhs

I recently saw this video “Ghosts with Shit Jobs” made by a group called No Media Kings  — and although this “peek into the future” is an interesting concept, the more I think about it, the more underhandedly racist it seems.

Yes, maybe the bankruptcy and economic submission of the US is a real possibility in the near future, and we will no longer occupy the role of world superpower that we take for granted. But this video appears to place the blame for this dystopia squarely on “The East”  – aka China.

In typical ethnocentric fashion, the video focuses on a scapegoat for America’s financial woes, instead of looking inward. What about the years of criminal conduct and deregulation of Wall Street that culminated in an economic shitstorm, and the subsequent government bail-out of Big Banks? The regressive fiscal policies that fail to tax the super-wealthy (they can’t be expected to pay tax on their corporate jets! That’s infringement on their RIGHT to be filthy rich!) while slashing education and social services and suffocating the working and middle class. Or the $$$ pumped into “wars on terror” in the Middle East ($1.2 trillion and counting) that seem to have no end in sight?

But it’s so much easier to point the finger at cold, ruthless CHINA — never mind that their economic growth is largely due to supplying the demands of US consumers (and Chinese factory workers have been too often exploited by US companies, such as Apple).

And when an economic recession hits, it’s largely people of color and immigrants who are the most vulnerable and most impacted — by foreclosure, unemployment, cuts to services, and all the problems that come along with the widening wealth gap between whites and everyone else. Where are all the brown folks in this video? None to be seen. Only hipster/yuppie types. The only non-whites portrayed are the distant, icy Chinese who are somehow responsible for the deplorable conditions of White Americans.

And guess what — people of color and immigrants have disproportionately  had to do (as they have done ever since the beginning of US history) “shit jobs”…but somehow it’s a tragedy when “ghosts” have to do them?

Nice try guys, but I’m not buying this white-centric, Team USA fuckery.

Thanks Cynthia Liu!

Friday Fuckery: NYPD Arrest Funeral Goods Store Worker for Selling Paper Gucci

Posted in All Class, AUDACITY, Douchebaggary, Friday Fuckery, fucktards with tags , , , , , on August 26, 2011 by Cbruhs

Earlier this week, a NYPD officer arrested a shop worker for selling fake Burberry and Gucci handbags. A common enough sight on the streets of New York’s Chinatown (still a waste of taxpayer and policing resources if you ask me)…but in this particular incident, the bag was made of…cardboard. As in, no one is even trying to pretend that it’s real, honey — or even a real fake. It’s like a fake fake. Made of paper, y’all.

             photo by Kirsten Luce for the NYT

The man arrested was Wing Sun Mak, who works at Fook On Sing Funeral supplies on Mulberry Street selling paper “products” for mourners to burn for the dead. Y’know, like the paper money, clothes, cars, and luxury items you may have burned for your own relatives so they may be more comfortable in the afterlife.

pic from Churchgifts.blogspot.com

So about this arrest, I say: Are You Fucking Kidding Me?? This store is located on a block in old Chinatown that’s peppered with Chinese funeral parlor and long-standing funeral-related businesses. This area is it so well known, it’s earned the nickname “funeral row”.

Hey NYPD don’t you have anything better to do? Shouldn’t you know better, given that there’s a police precinct 3 blocks away from this store? Try arresting some rapists and shit instead acting like douchebags and protecting the interests of the wealthy (I’m sure Louis Vitton loses loads of revenue due to cardboard fakes) and harassing indigenous businesses and residents (which unfortunately, has been NYPD’s pattern: see here and here).

District 1 Councilwoman Margaret Chin feels similarly, saying: “You expect the police to be culturally sensitive. This has been going on for hundreds of years, the Chinese burning offerings to the dead, and that’s what these kind of stores are for. It’s hard to understand how someone could mistake this for criminal activity.”

Although I have to say my favorite quote — which perfectly illustrates the fuckery of this whole thing — comes from Suki Lin, the wife of the arrested Mr. Mak:  Lin picked up her own Coach handbag. “It’s real,” she said, a gift from her husband. She motioned toward a cardboard bag and said, “If he gave me that bag, I’d beat him to death.”

Full NYT article here.

Thanks Andrew!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Friday Fuckery: Nuptials & Zombies

Posted in Awesomeness, DANGER!, Friday Fuckery, Pooped my Draws with tags , , , , , on August 19, 2011 by Cbruhs

I’ll admit it, I’ve thought about what my wedding photos will look like. Mostly because I’m obsessed with those soft focus, sparkly mantle-sized portraits that you see at every Chinese wedding — and I want that. I want to be wearing a Quinceañera dress and peeking from behind a tree at my betrothed and skipping along a rock trail in the middle of a stream while he holds my hand for balance — all with a Yuen Lui/Glamour Shotz treatment that makes the air look all fuzzy and magical and my teeth hella white.

So these wedding shots of Julian Sunmi Park and Benjamin Jinsuk Lee have really busted my silly little bubble…with AWESOMENESS. Check it:

Yes yes, appropriately and routinely romantical…but WAIT!

BEHIND YOU — EEK LOOK OUT!

GAAAHKKK!

WHAS Gonna Happen?! I’m tellin you, it’s a SAGA. There’s a bunch more photos, which I’m too lazy to upload, so just go here!

I’m a huge fan of The Walking Dead, but I had no idea it would translate so well in a wedding context! Now that my mind has been blown, I understand that there is a bigger, brighter future out there for me in the world of wedding photos. I think RuPaul’s Drag Race might make for an enchanting theme…May the best woman wii-i-iinnnn!

via Buzzfeed

Thanks Char Char!

Friday Fuckery: Did I Mention I Like To Dance?

Posted in All Class, Awesomeness, Friday Fuckery, Hilarity with tags , , , , , , on July 22, 2011 by Cbruhs

My friend sent me these magical videos earlier this week, and I’ve been watching them approximately 17 times a day. If you are a fan of ’90s R&B, hip-hop, slow jams, or procrastination — then you’ve gotta bum a ride on the Turquoise Jeep:

Que Romántico!

Pretty Raheem here is sportin’ one of my favorite looks, what I like to call “Steve Harvey Wearhouse Couture”. The pop singer/drag queen street dance duet is also the best since MJ’s “The Way You Make Me Feel”.

Although I gotta say this anthem by dancin’ machine Flynt Flossy is my favorite:

Which reminds me of another BCB darling that LIKES TO DANCE:

NATHANIEL, bitches! Now Prance, I said!

Thanks Alex!

Friday Fuckery: This White Guy Fantasy Brought to You by Heineken

Posted in Appropriation, AUDACITY, Barf Me Out, Bitch please!, Friday Fuckery, white ppl booshit with tags , , , on July 8, 2011 by Cbruhs

Oh, fer Chrissakes. Here we go — a little peek into a white guy’s wet dream — with the well-worn theme of White Knight out-Asianing the Asians (see Last Samurai, Shogun) or out-Indianing the Indians (see Dances With Wolves, Avatar, A Man Called Horse, etc etc ad nauseam).

Chad here is gonna take his comely Asian date on a magical whirlwind tour of Chinatown (is it her own neighborhood? No matter! He is more IN THE KNOW and will thus access and unlock an exotic, underground side she’s never experienced!).

Not only will he charm the pants off her, he will also show the cooks how to do their job. First, to demonstrate that he is totally DOWN with Chef YanCanCook, he’ll make sure to greet his Chinatown bros in the customary, culturally-sensitive fashion: palms together. But Aha! Chad will then school and amaze them by karate-chopping veggies faster than Benihana’s Rocky Aoki!

As Chad is also quite the international playboy, he’ll be repeatedly ogled and groped at by a gauntlet of bejeweled women as he makes his way through the club.  His date, meanwhile, is unable to maneuver on her own, so Chad must whisk her around and protect her from all the hustle and bustle of Asiaville. To make sure we REALLY GET that Chad is WINNING here, viewers are treated to about seven shots of her breathlessly gazing at him with equal parts hero worship and lusty bedroom eyes.

Yes, it’s a stylish, well-produced commercial, but I still sprained my eyeballs from rolling them so hard. While watching a Chris Martin look-alike be King for a Day in Anonymous Exotic Asiatown doesn’t make me want to pour Heineken down my throat, it probably works on their intended demographic. Heineken is such a skunky, shitty beer that apparently it has to indulge ridiculous white dude fantasies to seem appealing. Both are puke-inducing if ya ask me.

Thanks Char Char!

Friday Fuckery: China Hair & Beauty Expo

Posted in All Class, Awesomeness, Friday Fuckery with tags , , , on July 1, 2011 by Cbruhs

While most think of the Bronner Bros Hair Show in ATL (happening August 20-23rd!) as the ULTIMATE in mane ferocity and lace-front realness, it looks like they might be getting a run for their money.

The 2011 China Hair and Beauty Expo — which went down this past Wednesday in Beijing — showcased mile-high tresses and wig tchotchkes for daaayyyys, honey.

Bjork, reliving her Homogenic era

Simply glorious. Bronner Bros and the China Hair Expo should combine forces for some epic Captain Planet shit, and then the world would explode in a Hair Battle Royale orgy of costume joorees, Manic Panic extensions, and Super Gro products.  Also, I think the solution to our economic recession and achieving balanced global trade is in here somewhere.  More extravagnza eleganza pics here.

via UPI

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