Courtesy of Ally Chandler, an aspiring actress (or so it seems), comes the adventures of The Incredibly Asian Grandma. Why is she incredibly Asian? Nothing really special, I guess AllyCat seems to think she’s hella Asian. But I know a busload of grandmas taking the San Jose to Thunder Valley gambling bus that would think otherwise… Cause I don’t think she’s incredibly Asian as much as Ally is unincredibly Asian… Either way, this grandma is the real!
Archive for asian
The Incredibly Asian Grandma
Posted in Bitch please! with tags asia, asian, grandma, incredibly asian grandma, japan, japanese on April 29, 2010 by aznheartthrobMickey Rourke as Genghis Khan. SERIOUSLY.
Posted in Bitch please!, Uncategorized with tags asia, asian, chinese, genghis, genghis khan, mickey rooney, mickey rourke, mongol on April 28, 2010 by aznheartthrobThis shit got me so angry, I need to flip the KANYE WEST FONT ON. SERIOUSLY? MICKEY FUCKING ROURKE AS GENGHIS KHAN? CAN HOLLYWOOD PICK ANYBODY WORSE THEN MICKEY FUCKING ROURKE TO PLAY THE BADASS MONGOL RULER? I GUESS MICKEY ROONEY WASN’T AVAILABLE TO DO ANOTHER YELLOWFACE ROLE? HE’S ALIVE YOU KNOW, JUST READY TO POUNCE ON SOMETHING LIKE THIS CAUSE BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY’S WASN’T ENOUGH! BUT COME ON! MICKEY ROURKE!?!
YOU THINK DOOD LOOKS OKAY IN THAT PICTURE? I’VE SEEN THE MF’ER IN PERSON AT HAZE IN THE ARIA HOTEL IN VEGAS CUTTING IN LINE WITH SOME ANOREXIC MODEL. I LOOKED HIM IN THE FACE AND THOUGHT, “WHY IS THIS MUSCLED OUT DUDE WEARING A SAGGING SILICON MASK OF MICKEY ROURKE?” UNTIL I REALIZED IT WAS MICKEY F’N ROURKE. BUT SERIOUSLY, WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT FROM HOLLYWOOD NOWADAYS. BETWEEN JAKE GYLLENHAAL PLAYING A PERSIAN TO ALL THE DRAGONBALL Z/LAST AIRBENDER CRAP, THIS SHIT WILL ALWAYS HAPPEN. WHAT’S ALSO GREAT IS THIS GENGHIS KHAN MOVIE IS COMING FROM THE GUY THAT DIRECTED RED DAWN. THANKS DOUCHEBAG!
BOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYCCCCCCOOOOOTTTTTTT! BOYCOTT THIS SHIT LIKE A CAN OF DOLPHIN KILLING TUNA BOUGHT FROM A WHOLE FOODS IN ARIZONA.
Thanks to IB via current.com for the scoop.
NERD ALERT: WonderCon 2010 in SF
Posted in Nerd Alert with tags asia, asian, asian american, chew, chinese, chu, comic, comic con, comics, image comics, john chu, wondercon on April 5, 2010 by aznheartthrobLike all the longtime WonderCon nerds that have been attending the show since it was at the Oakland Marriott, I gotta tell you, I hate Hollywood taking over the comic industry. Between a panel with Jake Gyllenhaal talking about working out and tanning so he could play the Prince of Persia (Orientalism!) to a panel with Nic Cage and Jeremy Bruckheimer explaining how they had to “update” the Fantasia classic for modern times (ie. Oriental mysticism), the show (since it moved to SF’s Moscone Center) has gone a long way from the Chasing Amy-like con-floor where I had this conversation with Erik Larsen in the early 2000′s:
Me: Yo! Erik! What are you doing here in Oakland? Can you sketch me Spider-man fighting Savage Dragon?
Erik: Sorry, I can’t draw Spider-man for you, licensing issues. And yea, I’m here cause I live in the Oakland Hills. Just rolled outta bed and showed up.
Me. Coool….
So, this year’s WonderCon didn’t impress me with its Hollywood glamor or autograph signing booths. I could care less for BcB hoebag Erin Gray, although I did enjoy seeing Deanna Troi and Tasha Yar… What I got kick out of were two comics, both on opposite ends of the Asian American spectrum.
The first is Chew by Image Comics. Its a new comic by the house that Rob Liefeld built about Officer John Chu, a Chinese American policeman that has the ability to experience the history in objects (or people) that he eats. Yes, its about cannibalism and its a story about an Asian American written and drawn by white folks, and yes, they probably went with the name John Chu cause it sounds like Chew. But take a look at the art, you can’t deny this is how you draw a badass Asian comicbook hero:
In the sketches section of the TPB, the creators note that they did not want the character to look like a typical Asian American stereotype, and for that, I thank them. That receding hairline kinda sucks for Chu though…
And what’s the opposite of a comic about an Asian American human flesh eating FDA agent? A kid’s comic about a boy and his dog of course! Bumperboy and Bumperpup were created by Debbie Huey right here in the Bay. You can check out her portfolio for other drawings or order the first book in the Bumperboy series, titled Bumperboy Loses His Marbles (it’ll cost ya tho, cause its out of print), or better yet, buy the current book, Bumperboy and the Loud, Loud Mountain.
And stay tuned this summer for a possible AzN sighting at ComicCon, cause I’m really craving carne asada fries and Team Jacob sightings.
RiceBunny Returns
Posted in Bitch please! with tags artist, asia, asian, asian american, fetish, geisha, make-up, makeup, ninja, ricebunny on February 23, 2010 by aznheartthrobWe’ve introduced her to you before as a Jesus loving, Vietnamese American make-up expert coming out of Flo Rida. But now she’s back, and she’s ruffling a bit more than our feathers these days. Sure, it was cute and all to show females how to apply make-up around black thick rimmed glasses. great. Its also great you’re teaching our children how to dress up like a poor man’s Fergie Lady Gaga.
But now you’re teaching folks how to dress up like a Geisha?!
The Blonde Geisha: Combining Two Fetishes
Posted in Appropriation, Bitch please!, Uncategorized with tags asia, asian, blonde geisha, blonde samurai, geisha, japan, japanese, jina bacarr, samurai on February 20, 2010 by aznheartthrobLeave it to Asian fetishism to ruin a perfectly good trip to my local Borders Books. I was looking for books to spend my $25 gift card on when I spot this crap at the new books section:
What the??? Check out the description of the book, and you’ll start seeing how the author, Jina Bacarr, really really loves her some Orientals:
Asians Can be Hip Hop Too!
Posted in Awesomeness, Bitch please! with tags abdc, african american, americas best dance crew, asia, asian, asian american, asians, black, breakdance, breaking, DJ, hip hop, MC, mtv, Poreotix on February 18, 2010 by aznheartthrob
Poreotix. I'm never going to remember how to spell that.
OH THE HATE! The AzNs are appropriating HIP HOP! All this dancing and poppin and lockin! Why they gotta be Asian folks? Where are all the Black folks?!? Shouldn’t Asians be doing kung fu and math homework!! Why don’t we listen to AfricanPridePrincess’s comment on the MTV.com website and have all the races in America start following our own stereotypes:
“i’ve about had it with all of these damn asians. Do they even know the origins of hip hop?”
As someone who grew up on Hip Hop, I am offended. My first maxi single was Chubb Rock’s Treat Em Right and my first CD was He’s the DJ, I’m the Rapper. So what did I do when P. Diddy asked the participants on Making the Band to memorize the lyrics to Rapper’s Delight (and fail). Cringe. So to claim Hip Hop as the province of one particular race is counter to the very idea of Hip Hop. Hip Hop was meant to empower a generation of folks that were marginalized and geographically isolated and had to express their emotions in one form or another. The outcome of all this expressionism was breaking, MCing, graffiti, and DJing, and no particular race, culture, or gender does any of these “better” than the other. Whether you’re Black, Asian, Latino, or White, as long as you got something to say, you are Hip Hop (sorry for the cliche). For every Common there’s an Eminem and MC Lyte and for every Grandmaster Flash there’s a Q-Bert and Mix Master Mike. And let’s not get started on Banksy, David Choe, or Futura. So to say we should have less Asian folks as breakers on MTV’s America’s Best Dance Crew is like saying every Jeopardy: College Edition should include 3 Asian contestants from Ivy League schools.
This is American in 2010. Our President is half Black, half White from Hawaii with a half Indonesian sister and a Chinese brother-in-law. Do you really need to reinforce stereotypes and set back the Civil Rights Movement back to the 40s?! And oh yea, the Rock Steady Crew has Asians on it now too (which is like having Asians in the Black Panthers. Wait, there were Asians in the Black Panthers?!)
Rock Steady in the 00's
So all I really gotta say is props to Poreotix for being the best crew so far on the best coast for dancers on this season’s ABDC. We live in a society where the Jabbawockeez and Fanny Pak’s of the country are made up of folks from every race, creed, and gender in the world. And its not that strange for an all Asian dance crew from Westminster, CA (pronounced Wet-Min-Ter) to make it on ABDC. Congrats.
The Oak Park Story World Premiere: March 14-15 at the SFIAAFF
Posted in Awesomeness with tags asia, asian, latino, oak park, Oakland, southeast asian on February 15, 2010 by aznheartthrobThanks to BcB favorite The Antisocial Ladder for sending this over to us. Check out The Oak Park Story, a documentary about Southeast Asian and Latino folks in an Oakland neighborhood, at this year’s San Francisco International Asian American Film Festival. Cop your presale tickets NOW while they still available! Press Release below.
The Oak Park Story World Premiere, March 14-15, 2010 at SFIAAFF
Visit the official blog for The Oak Park Story
SAN FRANCISCO – The Oak Park Story (22 min, 2010), the new documentary that captures the lives of a predominantly Southeast Asian and Latino community in an Oakland slum, will premiere at the 2010 San Francisco International Asian American Film Festival. The film is directed, edited, co-produced and co-written by Valerie Soe and co-produced and co-written by Russell Jeung, both of whom are professors of Asian American Studies at San Francisco State University.
The film screens alongside Curtis Choy’s documentary about the late great Filipino Al Robles, Manilatown Is In The Heart.
The Oak Park Story (2010, 22 min.) recounts the struggles of three very different families who find themselves together in a run-down slum in Oakland, CA. Khlot Ry arrived first from Cambodia, where she and her granddaughters had fled forced labor camps and invading Vietnamese soldiers. A few years later, Felix and Hortensia Jimenez brought their family across the Mexican-U.S. border without documents, where Felix struggled to earn a living as a day laborer. At the same time, Dan Schmitz left the comforts of his white, middle class upbringing in the suburbs and moved into the apartment directly across from the Jimenez family.
Together, these three households encountered daily life in America’s underclass. Parents raised their children amidst drug dealing, gang violence and prostitution right in their parking lot. Yet their worst problem was their Stanford-educated landlord, who raised rents even when El Nino rains flooded their units. Interviews, home video footage, and photographs from the tenants depict their daily lived experiences in the 1980s and 1990s.
Facing unsanitary housing conditions that led to the hospitalization of several children, 44 households of Oak Park banded together to sue and eventually won a landmark settlement, against their landlord. Despite the victory, this too brought about some surprising, unintended consequences.
The Oak Park Story concludes nearly ten years after winning the lawsuit. What have the children at Oak Park learned from their parents’ organizing? How did the lawsuit impact the lives of the undocumented workers, the refugee families, and the other working poor living there? What ongoing social conditions do they continue to face?
Where: Sundance Kabuki Cinema, 1881 Post Street, San Francisco, CA 94115
When: March 14, 2010 at 2:00 pm and March 15, 2010 at 7:00 pm
Tickets are available at the SFIAAFF website.
BcB Presents “Model Minorities”: Asian Models and Why It Matters
Posted in Bitch please! with tags asia, asian, asian american, daniel vosovic, fashion week, new york, ny, NY fashion week, NYC, vosovic on February 12, 2010 by aznheartthrobBcB is starting a new series titled “Model Minorities” where we bring up topics related to Asian/Asian American models. Is this a way of me ogling looking up Asian models online and making up a lame excuse for it (ditto for CBruhs)? I’ll be honest. Yes. But will we enlighten you with some good topics about the Asian American image in American mainstream society while doing it? Sure, why not. Let’s begin enlightening:
The last thing you need to hear about (I’m sure) is about the unfortunate plight of the Asian model. Boo Hoo, I’m tall (5’10″), beautiful, and skinny (3 digit weight? You wanna model for the Dress Barn?). But it does matter. Cause what you see on the runway during NYC’s Fashion Week will show up in the high end Milan, Paris and NY boutiques within the year, then the boutiques in LA and Tokyo a week later, then Barney’s, then Nordstrom’s, then Banana Republic, then Hollister, then TJ Maxx and finally the LBC swap meet. And its all about IMAGE people. You know that!
So I had always thought Asian American models were in high demand. And when I mean models, I mean female models. I read this article a while back that broke it down in a pie chart, using data from the races of models at Fashion Week 2009 in NYC:
41% Asian, 36% Black, 22% Latino, 1% Other
So I’m a little puzzled when I took a look at this article from NY Magazine, via Cbruhs via Char Char, that detailed the difficulty of finding Asian female models for a show that up-and-coming designer Daniel Vosovic was putting on. According to Vosovic:
Wanting to cast only Asian models, the lack of diversity made things a tad difficult. “When we started to request show packages, honestly, I was appalled by the lack of options”.
So the fact that its THIS difficult to find Asian runway models coupled with the fact that the most people of color used as models for shows is Asian means its pretty bad out there for Black and Latina runway models I’m guessing. Let’s not forget that these shows only use the emaciated, bony cheeked, 5’11″ eastern euro type models, so forget about any junk in the trunk/front.
So take a look at his collection below and tell me if Vosovic was being very specific about the Asian models he wanted? or its an industry wide problem. My guess is its both.
Click for the full Vosovic line showing all the Asian models he selected.
The “Yellow Line” in the ATL Will Lead You To CTown.
Posted in Bitch please! with tags asia, asian, asian american, ATL, atlanta, MARTA, transit, yellow, yellow line on February 12, 2010 by aznheartthrobFor the same reason why Chicago didn’t name the Red “L” train that runs through the Southside of Chicago the BLACK line, you don’t name the damn train that runs through Atlanta’s Asian neighborhood (Doraville) the “Yellow” line. Coincidentally, the Red Line goes up to a Native American reservation and the Green Line goes through an Irish Catholic neighborhood and the Blue Line goes to Pandora.
Calling it the “Gold” line doesn’t help either, cause its still a yellow hue. Why don’t you just try a different color completely MARTA (Metro Atlanta Regional Transit Authority)? Or you can always rename your Transit Authority the Kross Line Atlanta Network (or The KLAN for short).
Thanks ePanda, I can’t wait till we roll through Atlanta and take the “Gold” line to Doraville for some good sticky buns!
Complex’s Top 50 Most Racist Films of All-Time
Posted in please! with tags 21, african american, asia, asian, asian american, avatar, black, breakfast at tiffany's, caucasian, complex, complex magazine, dragonball, filim, gremlines, hung ho, indiana jones, movie, movies, muslim, muslim american, race, Racism, racist, rob schneider, romeo must die, sixteen candles, song of the south, the last samurai, true lies, white on February 9, 2010 by aznheartthrobAlthough I didn’t agree with their choice of Bottle Rocket at #49 (its not THAT trashy, is it?), I definitely agree with Complex’s Top 50 Most Racist Movies You Didn’t Think Were Racist: Numero 1: Breakfast at Tiffany’s.
Also props to Complex for finding the little known racist gems like Gremlins (the darker the Gizmo, the deeper the roots), Romeo Must Die (Not even ONE kiss Aliyah?!), Dragonball Evolution (THANK YOU!), Gung Ho (I didn’t even know this movie EXISTED, but now I GOTTA watch it just for Gedde Watanabe alone), 21 (THANK YOU AGAIN!), Avatar The Last Samurai (duh.), True Lies (finally, this is the first time I’ve seen this movie called out on its racist terrorist shit), Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (sorry ShortRound), Song of the South (there’s NO WAY Disney is still selling this movie), Transformer 2 (Skids and Mudflaps ruined this movie for me, but then Megan Fox made it all better), and Sixteen Candles (sucks to be you Gedde Watanabe, you seem to always pop up more than once in any of these lists). But most of my props go to Complex for calling out Rob Schneider for ALL of his movies cause he’s somewhat racially ambiguous (he’s a bit Filipino) and therefore plays everybody’s stereotype:
8. Every Rob Schneider Movie
Year: 1963 (birth)-present
Adam Sandler’s bit-part-playin’ buddy is a modern minstrel who has played (and played out) Chinese (I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry), Hawaiians (50 First Dates), Arabs (You Don’t Mess with the Zohan), and Native Americans (Bedtime Stories). He’s argued that it’s OK because he has a little Filipino in him (ayo!) and because he just happened to be the actor best suited to mock a people. We argue, “Fuck you, Rob.”
