I’ve never heard of these assclowns “Buckwheat Groats” — but their video “Swag Like An Asian” definitely takes the cake for most racist, misogynistic, douchebagtastic, Yelloxploitation brick of turd I’ve seen in a hot minute. All in one fell swoop.
I can’t even watch this more than once because the lyrics and images make me wanna choke their fugly mugs with their own fur coats and rip the chunky one’s face pubes out with my bare hands and feed it to him. From the “Asian bitches” sucking on his diamond dick chain, to lines like: “put some nuts on your girl that’s my kung pao chickenhead”, there’s just so much to rage at.
No thanks white boys, y’all ain’t cute and you can keep your back-handed, fetishistic Asian “tribute”. And sorry, but a laundry list of pan-Asian stereotypes does not a good rap video make. The ability to wrap your ignant minds around that is some #SWAG you’ll never have.
And we’ve said it before and we’ll say again: HIPSTER RACISM IS STILL RACISM!!!
We at BCB think that racism can be hilarious, when it’s done right (see: W. Kamau Bell, Dave Chappelle, Hari Kondabolu, Negin Farsad, Stephen Colbert, Richard Pryor etc). But racism (and other -isms) just for racism’s sake — or its smug cousin, Hipster Racism — is just tired and lazy and ugly. And Buddha don’t like ugly. So she certainly would not care for this:
Seriously, was this written by a 9-year-old raised by Westboro Baptist and Jeff Dunham? What kind of drugs did they put in Sad Dachshund’s kibble to get him to go from an Academy Award to this? Is it weird to be equally offended and depressed that they topped it all off with an obnoxious cover of the Ramones?
Let’s organize a movement to ship Rob Schneider to some remote island where he can no longer be a threat to himself or anybody else with a shred of ethnic dignity. You go straight to hell, Schneider.
It’s no secret that my veneration for drag queens, throwin’ shade, and yes, ovahness — is near unconditional (and borderline obsessive)…but GRRROOOOOAAAANNNNN.
Dude’s like one step away from yellow face. And if we’re getting technical here, there’s many things one could point out about this video (besides Mike Diamond) that aren’t Japanese, one of which is — it’s filmed in CHINATOWN. And can we please just slaughter and bury that chopsocky font please!?! KonichiDON’T.
We here at BCB are well aware of this epidemic (we created a “Hipster Racism” category for the blog in 2009) and are pretty happy about the general increase in dialogue about it.
So for this Friday’s Fuckery, we present yet another culprit: Lucky 8′s China House (seriously), a new chic restaurant in Seattle’s Capitol Hill area, owned by Bracey Rogers and his wife Marcy Akiyama.
CBruhs met some friends at this joint a few weeks ago, and was swiftly irritated by its overpriced cooptation of ethnic food, lack of any (visible, maybe they were in the back washing dishes) Asian staff, and in particular, an ironically mustachioed server named “Tiger” who announced in rather dramatic fashion that he was about to make a bike delivery (for examples of why this is problematic, contrast this with the unglamorous, dangerous, and sometimes fatal reality of real Chinese delivery men).
Last night, BCB friend Louie Gong went to Lucky 8′s China House and was similarly not impressed by the stereotypical decor: kung fu movies, a gong, a giant to-go box, and drinks like “Phists of Phooey” (you just don’t fuck with a Bruce Lee movie). Basically what he describes as “a cartoon version of Asian culture…like they turned an Asian-themed slot machine into a restaurant.”
After Louie paid, Tiger apparently noticed his last name on the credit card. As Louie was walking out, he heard behind him: “Gong….Gong?? Hey, Gong!?” He turned around, and Tiger had gathered the cooks, picked up a mallet, and then for reals CLANGED THE EFFING GONG.
Incredulous, Gong the person asked to take a pic for posterity. And ridicule:
For Louie, this was a delightful reminder of how kids would mockingly chant “Goooong!” during basketball games. So thanks for that, Tiger — and thank you Lucky 8′s China House for serving up another shining example that there really is no difference between “Hipster racism” and just regular ol’ racism.
Yesterday, Popchips unveiled its new ad campaign “Worldwide Lovers”, in which worldwide D-bag Ashton Kutcher plays four different characters on a dating show. One of these characters is “Raj”, a Bollywood producer — which is basically Ashton in brownface, a sparkly blue sherwani, and a shitty accent.
I don’t think I need to explain why this ad is racist, but I wouldn’t mind an explanation of what the hell this has to do with Popchips. And believe it or not, this campaign cost $1.5M…and those lucky enough to live in Denver, L.A., New York, Phoenix, San Francisco, and Seattle would have been treated to outdoor ads as well.
Even more wack was the initial response Popchips released: “The new popchips worldwide dating video and ad campaign featuring four characters was created to provoke a few laughs and was never intended to stereotype or offend anyone. At popchips we embrace all types of shapes, flavors and colors, and appreciate all snackers, no matter their race or ethnicity. We hope people can enjoy this in the spirit it was intended.”
This ad isn’t about RACE, people….it’s about SNACKERS! Of all um, “shapes, flavors and colors”….especially pervy, pathetic, Indian snackers! So if you’re offended…just stop that right now!
Writer Anil Dash has been very active in responding to the ad campaign, outlining next steps and documenting his correspondence with the company.
It looks like all the tweets and criticism paid off, and Popchips pulled the ad and apologized. Founder and CEO Keith Belling wrote on the company site: “We received a lot feedback about the dating campaign parody we launched today and appreciate everyone who took the time to share their point of view. Our team worked hard to create a light-hearted parody featuring a variety of characters that was meant to provide a few laughs. We did not intend to offend anyone. I take full responsibility and apologize to anyone we offended.”
Oh, look — another Jason Statham movie. This one is called SAFE, and the drama revolves around a girl who’s an orphaned math prodigy and can memorize anything. And she’s Asian, so that makes sense. And this Asian girl is going to be saved by Statham’s character cuz he’s a destitute, mediocre (but white!) cage fighter, and because her fellow AZNs are exploiting her by ruthlessly using her maths skills for gambling. This necessitates much ass-whupping of random Asian gangsters and a buttload of shoot ‘em ups in dark, smoky Chinatown haunts…à la the White Knight/Orientalism formula and the typical Statham movie.
Young, successful Asian American designers like Jason Wu, Phillip Lim, and Thakoon Panichgul inevitably deal with being compared and lumped together, and with the expectation that their Asian heritage would result in some common aesthetic…”Asian” or otherwise.
Jason Wu, who designed one of First Lady Obama’s inauguration ball gowns and has a line out for Target, acknowledges that — despite what people may presume — the most well-known young Asian American designers haven’t until very recently incorporated Asian symbolism and/or stereotypes into their collections.
This overt “Asian trend” has been exhibited mainly (as it has like, every other year ad naseum) by white designers like Ralph Lauren (whose early 2011 runway show included “China Girl” in its soundtrack) and Louis Vitton:
Ralph Lauren photo: Fernanda Calfat/Getty Images
Louis Vitton photo: Imaxtree
In his fall 2012 show, Jason Wu made an intentional decision to showcase Chinese-influence designs: “I suppose this hasn’t really been done before—an Asian designer tapping into the Asian side. Usually, culturally, we stay away from it … I feel like I’m at a place where I’m maturing not just as a designer, but as a person, to embark on inspirations that hit close to home…I almost wanted to poke fun at it a little bit by interpreting it through stereotypes … but also by incorporating all of that in a way that is elegant and powerful at the same time.”
Props to Wu for recognizing the stereotypical and often offensive imagery typically seen in “Asian-inspired” fashion. But even if his new designs are intended to be subversive, will this message even register with the fashion world and its consumers, especially operating within the larger Yelloxploitation trend? Could Wu be dismissed as jumping on the Asian bandwagon (altho, fashion’s endless ethnic exploitation could hardly be called a trend) or even worse — validate the “Asian” pigeonhole people try to stick him in? (Phillip Lim also created a cheongsam-influenced collection in 2010)? What does it mean to step into a culturally-loaded space that you have both actively avoided and feel a need to claim, especially after seeing dominant culture co-opt it? Can change happen in this way, or is it just further legitimizing popular stereotypes? BUT IS IT ART, DARLING?? GAAAAAAAA.
Like Chinese character tattoos and Buddhism, “Asian” fashion may just be another thing white people ruined for the rest of us.
You know it was only a matter of time. And luckily, this video is done very well. And how do we judge that? Because this shit is true — and because it’s true, it’s funny. And a little sad. But you know…laugh to keep from cryin’ and all that jazz!
Real talk. Cheers to you, Cindy Fang of Grumpy Panda!
Now someone should step up and do a “Shit White Guys Say…to Asian Guys”. Or “Shit Asian Girls Say…to Asian Guys”. Even more real talk!
When I first watched this clip, I was totally rooting for Johnny Robinson — a contestant on the X-Factor UK. His snappy gold-breasted blazer/space hooker fashions, bitchy comebacks (“It costs a lot to look this cheap, Gary”), and inability to understand Twitter (also note the one-fingered typing) endeared him to my own catty, technololology-challenged heart. Plus, he was gonna do a Kylie cover, you guys! That is, until I saw the actual performance:
Oh, hell. This old queen went and pulled an Aneka! What is it about Kylie’s music that led Johnny to make this um, artistic choice, exactly? As far as the Oriental-ized backup dancers, I don’t think tippy-toeing around with palms pressed together and flapping a fan around their faces like they’re in a production of Madame Butterfly should count as legit choreography. And the eyeliner looks like it was smeared on with an old Sharpie. How I wish Johnny had just tried to re-create the costumes from the original version, tits out and all:
Much better.
Although, if there is one redeeming quality to this cringefest, it’s Johnny hollerin out “VOGUE!” at the end.
While the Occupy Wall Street protests plod on, some are attempting to discredit the mobilizations by focusing on the “types” of folks that are protesting. OpieRadio (aka “shock jock” Gregg Hughes of the Opie & Anthony Show) decided to go down to Wall Street and interview some of the more inarticulate/blazed individuals, thus labeling the entire protest a “freak show”.
Apparently, included in this “freak show” are two Chinese immigrants, one who used to work for Morgan Stanley, Citibank, and other Wall Street firms — and his friend who is there to support him and the larger movement. When one man speaks in Chinese to answer Opie’s (over-enunciated) question: “Why. Are. You. Here?“, Opie cuts him off with: “I don’t know what he’s saying!” (1:45 mark). After the other man translates, Opie mocks them with several “Ah, soooo” (2:39).
Well Opie, understand this: FUCK YOU!! Why these two well-spoken men were included in a montage with a girl in a bear costume who couldn’t answer why she was protesting or a guy speaking through a puppet rat is totally ridiculous and offensive. Why are they “freaks”…because they’re Asian and have accents? Also, did he make oinking noises at the girl at 2:20? Class act.
Opie was likely focusing on the minority of protestors anyway, in a cheap effort to ridicule the whole movement for fiscal reform by seeking out the most grungy, high-as-shit, tatted-up individuals (I personally feel we should be more afraid of a shifty CEO in a suit that a guy with face tattoos)….oh, plus a couple of hardworking Asian immigrants. Nice try, dick.
Its gonna be hard as hell to write a review of a book like this without spoilers. So let me just say this book has gently nestled its way into my Murakami top 3, just under Wind Up Bird Chronicles and barely inching above Norwegian Wood. This means a lot cause I'm a fanatic over his ish and spend way too much money on multiple copies of his books... If you're a veteran Murakami reader, you'll love how long this book is. More time before the Murakami-withdrawal hits. You'll also like hearing from a female protagonist for the first time. If this is your first Murakami book, I'd read one of his books with less magical realism first, After Dark or Kafka on the Shore then move up to 1Q84 about 3-4 books later. Also, you might wanna buy the digital version (although the US hardcopy is a sight to behold) cause this book be phat!
