Archive for the fucktards Category

Buckwheat Groats: “Swag Like a Douchebag Racist”

Posted in Appropriation, AUDACITY, Douchebaggary, fucktards, Hipster Racism, Old white dudes with hawt young Asian chicks, white ppl booshit with tags , , on February 8, 2013 by Cbruhs

I’ve never heard of these assclowns “Buckwheat Groats” — but their video “Swag Like An Asian” definitely takes the cake for most racist, misogynistic, douchebagtastic, Yelloxploitation brick of turd I’ve seen in a hot minute. All in one fell swoop.

I can’t even watch this more than once because the lyrics and images make me wanna choke their fugly mugs with their own fur coats and rip the chunky one’s face pubes out with my bare hands and feed it to him. From the “Asian bitches” sucking on his diamond dick chain, to lines like: “put some nuts on your girl that’s my kung pao chickenhead”, there’s just so much to rage at.

No thanks white boys, y’all ain’t cute and you can keep your back-handed, fetishistic Asian “tribute”. And sorry, but a laundry list of pan-Asian stereotypes does not a good rap video make. The ability to wrap your ignant minds around that is some #SWAG you’ll never have.

And we’ve said it before and we’ll say again: HIPSTER RACISM IS STILL RACISM!!!

via Angry Asian Man

Friday Fuckery: Chinatown “Gambling Raid”

Posted in All Class, AUDACITY, Blame China!, booshit, Douchebaggary, Friday Fuckery, fucktards, Racism Round-Up, WTF?! with tags , , , , , , on July 6, 2012 by Cbruhs

photo by Michael Appleton for the NYT

The illustrious NYPD, in partnership with the equally humanitarian Immigration & Customs Enforcement (ICE), recently raided a building in East Chinatown — which houses many hometown associations, shops, and even medicinal practitioners — in what they called a “crackdown on a hive of criminality”. Read the rather ridiculous details here.

Although they claim that the cash confiscated is proof that the laborers and retired workers mainly from Fujian province are linked to a Chinese criminal gang and part of “one of the largest illegal gambling operations uncovered in New York City’s recent history”, maybe these folks just like some down time between grueling jobs to play some social low-stakes games of mah jong, cards, and pool. Y’know, like Christmas at yo auntie’s house.

Some real shady, hardcore criminal activity right here. That Pau Pau is just LOADED with nickels.

In addition to confiscating mah jong tables, the authorities took a few thousand dollars from a safe and off of folks playing in one hometown association’s small office. They reason that cash found in this raid, along with similar raids, just goes to show that that illegal gambling is goin’ down. But among a population of immigrants who are often unbanked, get paid in cash, and may operate mutual assistance-type lending circles for those down on their luck, you’re not going to find a lot of checks and platinum cards. Which means that some of these folks may have just been carrying their day’s wages on them, which then got snatched up by the authorities as evidence of their criminality.

Authorities also raided the building because of “illegal medical care:”

In the recent raid, officials arrested two men in an office behind an unmarked door on the fourth floor. The men, Qiu Jiaxi, 67, and his son, Qiu Lu Hui, 38, were “examining and treating patients by injecting them with unknown substances and giving them a variety of unidentified pills,” the New York attorney general, Eric T. Schneiderman, said in a statement. They “lured unsuspecting patients into their office and put their greed before the health and safety of their victims.

Why does this read like a pulpy fiction from the ’40s featuring a jaundiced Chinaman with long queue and fingernails on the cover? THEY’RE COMING AFTER YOUR WHITE WOMEN NEXT!!

“The Qius were charged with unauthorized practice of a profession, a felony, and face up to four years in prison...but he said that he had studied acupuncture and Chinese traditional medicine in China and in New Jersey, and that his father had been trained in China. Both, he said, had excellent reputations in the New York diaspora as well as in Fujian Province…“Coming to see us is the only option for them,” he said. The Qius stopped practicing after their arrests but returned to their office. During the interview, a stream of patients stopped by, but the Qius apologized and turned them away.”

It’s called fucking Chinese medicine, dipshits! Folk remedies, homeopathy, alternative medicine…whatever you want to call it. While it may not be offered at Beth Israel, hippy white people pay a lot of money to study it in naturopathic school, so just chill out let these poor people without health insurance get the type of care they’ve consented to and have probably been familiar with their whole lives.

Unfortunately, federal officials are continuing to investigate these “gangs”, and the US attorney in Manhattan has sued for forfeiture of the building. While the leaseholder doesn’t believe there was any wrongdoing in the building, he still plans to clear out the hometown associations because of all the attention they’ve received from the authorities.

I wouldn’t be surprised if this is all a front to kick residents out and take over the building to build condos in what is fast becoming highly sought-after real estate. I can’t believe in this day and age, and in a city that prides itself on being the most diverse in the nation, stretched taxpayer dollars are going towards harassing old immigrants playing mahjong, confiscating their meager wages, and denying limited English speakers their traditional medicinal practices. You don’t see NYPD and ICE swooping in on old Jewish ladies in Forest Hills playing American Mahjong, or busting in on Wall Street types playing cards and betting on fantasy football in cigar rooms.

The NYT article is tepidly, diplomatically titled: “Chinatown Gambling Raid May Reveal Cultural Divide”. No shit. How about: “Dick Moves All Around, With Racial Fuckery At Its Finest”.

via NYT

Super Bowl Ad Fuckery

Posted in Barf Me Out, Bitch please!, Blame China!, booshit, Creeptastic, Douchebaggary, fucktards, WTF?! with tags , , , , , on February 6, 2012 by Cbruhs

I’m not a big one for sports, but I do like looking at spandex and tattoos, so this year I gladly plunked my butt on the couch for a four-hour long excuse to binge on BBQ chicken wings, Costco Andre champagne, and of course — taking in the multimillion dollar Superbowl Ad Extravaganza. And my stars, was this year a doozy.

Remember 2011′s Groupon ad that portrayed Tibetans as a tragic, dying culture, but — huzzah! — out of which savvy customers could still score a cheap fish curry?

Well, this year did not disappoint on the racism and sexism fronts. The worst offender being Michigan Senate candidate Pete Hoesktra’s political ad, which showed an Asian woman biking through a rice paddy (cue gongs) and saying in broken English: “...Your economy get very weak. Ours get very good. We take your jobs….”

(And if you think you’re angry now, check out Hoekstra’s even more ludicrous ching chongy website).

The ad was quickly condemned by a Michigan coalition of Black ministers, APIA Vote, other Republicans, and basically anyone who’s not a dipshit. Hoekstra lamely defended himself by saying the ad is “satirical” and not about race.

Moving on! Apparently advertisers are still clinging onto that time-honored marketing adage: “sex sells…especially if it’s like, absurdly, offensively, Mad Men-level sexist”. Jezebel and Mother Jones did great pieces on the plethora of creepy Super Bowl ads that trotted out the tired female = sex object formula to sell cars, web domains (GoDaddy.com, of course), and even uh, M&Ms.

The ad that made me shudder and want to kick an ad exec in the balls the most was from Teleflora:

This is just a big dripping ball of lechery — from the cheap porno soundtrack to Adriana Lima’s lascivious close ups to the blatant “give…and you shall receive…Happy Valentines night.” Do people really still think that throwing 50 bucks towards flowers or dinner or some crap is what it takes to get a woman to fuck you? Insulting to both sexes, and viewers probably don’t appreciate how uncomfortable and unfortunate it is to watch this with your kids or (in my case) parents and grandparents.

Fortunately the organization Miss Representation launched the brilliant Twitter hashtag #NotBuyingIt, which allows viewers to talk back and let companies know how they feel about the use of women in only highly sexualized contexts — or left out altogether (as in the case of this men-only Best Buy ad on tech innovators):

Ain’t no truth in advertising here.

Source

See Jezebel’s list of 10 female tech innovators that should have been included here.

Lady Chinky Eyes On Colbert Report

Posted in booshit, Douchebaggary, fucktards with tags , , on January 11, 2012 by Cbruhs

By now, you’ve probably heard about last week’s incident where a New York Papa John’s employee identified a Korean American customer as “lady chinky eyes” on her receipt.

Not only has this received attention on assorted Gawker Media and Asian American blogs, but it’s risen to national prominence by appearing on the Colbert Report last night:

Yes Colbert! Hopefully this will help reinforce the message that this recent trend (also see Chik-fil-A’s “ching” & “chong” receipts…plus Chik-fil-A gets extra bogus points because they’ve donated millions to anti-gay groups) is all sorts of fucked up. And if you’re one of those people that thinks we live in a post-racial, colorblind Kumbaya society, you need look no further than your local fast food joint for evidence that this shit permeates.

Thanks Char!

OpieRadio Makes Fun of Asian Wall Street Protestors

Posted in AUDACITY, Douchebaggary, fucktards, white ppl booshit with tags , on October 13, 2011 by Cbruhs

While the Occupy Wall Street protests plod on, some are attempting to discredit the mobilizations by focusing on the “types” of folks that are protesting. OpieRadio (aka “shock jock” Gregg Hughes of the Opie & Anthony Show) decided to go down to Wall Street and interview some of the more inarticulate/blazed individuals, thus labeling the entire protest a “freak show”.

Apparently, included in this “freak show” are two Chinese immigrants, one who used to work for Morgan Stanley, Citibank, and other Wall Street firms — and his friend who is there to support him and the larger movement. When one man speaks in Chinese to answer Opie’s (over-enunciated) question: “Why. Are. You. Here?“, Opie cuts him off with: “I don’t know what he’s saying!” (1:45 mark). After the other man translates, Opie mocks them with several “Ah, soooo” (2:39).

Well Opie, understand this: FUCK YOU!! Why these two well-spoken men were included in a montage with a girl in a bear costume who couldn’t answer why she was protesting or a guy speaking through a puppet rat is totally ridiculous and offensive. Why are they “freaks”…because they’re Asian and have accents? Also, did he make oinking noises at the girl at 2:20? Class act.

Opie was likely focusing on the minority of protestors anyway, in a cheap effort to ridicule the whole movement for fiscal reform by seeking out the most grungy, high-as-shit, tatted-up individuals (I personally feel we should be more afraid of a shifty CEO in a suit that a guy with face tattoos)….oh, plus a couple of hardworking Asian immigrants. Nice try, dick.

As if a typical Conservative or Teabagger gathering isn’t chock full o’ misspelled signs (aka “Teabonics”) and folks with questionable hygiene and fashion sense who can’t string a coherent, non-racist sentence together…in other words, “freaks”.

via Buzzfeed

Friday Fuckery: Judge Upholds Alabama’s Extreme Anti-Immigrant Law

Posted in Bitch please!, Friday Fuckery, fucktards, white ppl booshit with tags , , , , , , , on September 30, 2011 by Cbruhs
photo: Robert Sutton/AP
On Wednesday, federal judge Sharon Lovelace Blackburn issued an opinion striking down parts of Alabama’s newly-enacted anti-immigrant law HB 56, which has been dubbed “SB 1070 on steroids”.  The opinion blocked several of the law’s provisions, including one that would have made it a crime for undocumented immigrants to work, a provision that would have made it illegal to house or give a ride to an undocumented immigrant, and a provision that would have prevented lawfully present refugees and asylees as well as undocumented students from enrolling in universities.
Judge Blackburn
However, Blackburn’s ruling rejected the Department of Justice’s challenge to other pieces of HB 56, by upholding a provision of the law requiring K-12 public schools to determine and track the immigration status of public school students, and to report the number of undocumented students in their district to the state.
Blackburn also upheld a portion of the law that makes any business contract held by an undocumented immigrant un-enforceable, and makes it a felony offense for undocumented immigrants to apply for a business license, driver’s license, or license plates. And — this is huge — like Arizona, Alabama law enforcement officers will have the unprecedented power to act as immigration agents and question and detain anyone they “suspect” may be an undocumented immigrant (aka legalized racial profiling).
photo: Campus Progress
Advocates have been fiercely protesting since HB56 was first proposed, and The DOJ filed an appeal to Blackburn’s ruling today. DOJ also requested an injunction to halt the enforcement of HB 56, both on the basis that immigration law is a federal matter that cannot be determined by states.
As it stands, HB 56 is even more harsh and radical than SB 1070, and could create a crisis worse than seen in Arizona last year. Reportedly, Latino and immigrant families are already packing up and leaving the state, which is not only devastating for communities, but bad for business as well.
HB 56 is outright intimidation and harassment against immigrant families and people of color — against educating their children, contributing to the local economy, or even driving and traveling without fear of detention. HB 56 could also encourage even more copycat laws from anti-immigrant politicians trying to get votes, as well as normalizes racial profiling and furthers a culture of hate against immigrants. This is Fuckery and Foolery of the highest order. Is that what we want America to stand for?
source: WHNT 19, Think Progress.org

Friday Fuckery: Fox Sports Mocks Asian USC Students

Posted in AUDACITY, Douchebaggary, Friday Fuckery, fucktards, white ppl booshit with tags , , , , on September 9, 2011 by Cbruhs

The following is CBruh’s take on the whole FOX Sports fuckery, which is being posted as scheduled, despite some internal miscommunication that led to two posts about the same thing. But actually quite different –because unlike AZN’s post (and much like the FUEL TV segment), this one has absolutely nothing to do with sports.

Earlier this week, FUEL TV — a program of FOX Sports — aired a show called The College Experiment. “Comedian” Bob Oshack posed as an investigative reporter and stopped USC students (all of them Asian), asking them to give an “All-American” welcome to Colorado and Utah for PAC-12 basketballsportssomethingorother. Very cute, Bob.

Hey Bob, FOX Sports & FUEL TV…FUCK YOU. Can you understand that? See, loud and clear in any accent.

FOX Sports did apologize, and fortunately cancelled the piece of shit show. But the fact that the segment even got approved in the first place, means that someone (or many people) at FOX Sports/FUEL TV thought a cheap laugh at the expense of non-native speakers and the tired old Asian ≠ American paradigm qualified as comedy. But maybe I need to lighten up and view it as not so much as “offensive”, but more as being “funny”. So I hope ‘ol Bobby Oshack doesn’t find it offensive if I express my sentiments with another — FUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOO.

Check out Nikkei View’s excellent post here.

Thanks Gil and Charlie!

Friday Fuckery: NYPD Arrest Funeral Goods Store Worker for Selling Paper Gucci

Posted in All Class, AUDACITY, Douchebaggary, Friday Fuckery, fucktards with tags , , , , , on August 26, 2011 by Cbruhs

Earlier this week, a NYPD officer arrested a shop worker for selling fake Burberry and Gucci handbags. A common enough sight on the streets of New York’s Chinatown (still a waste of taxpayer and policing resources if you ask me)…but in this particular incident, the bag was made of…cardboard. As in, no one is even trying to pretend that it’s real, honey — or even a real fake. It’s like a fake fake. Made of paper, y’all.

             photo by Kirsten Luce for the NYT

The man arrested was Wing Sun Mak, who works at Fook On Sing Funeral supplies on Mulberry Street selling paper “products” for mourners to burn for the dead. Y’know, like the paper money, clothes, cars, and luxury items you may have burned for your own relatives so they may be more comfortable in the afterlife.

pic from Churchgifts.blogspot.com

So about this arrest, I say: Are You Fucking Kidding Me?? This store is located on a block in old Chinatown that’s peppered with Chinese funeral parlor and long-standing funeral-related businesses. This area is it so well known, it’s earned the nickname “funeral row”.

Hey NYPD don’t you have anything better to do? Shouldn’t you know better, given that there’s a police precinct 3 blocks away from this store? Try arresting some rapists and shit instead acting like douchebags and protecting the interests of the wealthy (I’m sure Louis Vitton loses loads of revenue due to cardboard fakes) and harassing indigenous businesses and residents (which unfortunately, has been NYPD’s pattern: see here and here).

District 1 Councilwoman Margaret Chin feels similarly, saying: “You expect the police to be culturally sensitive. This has been going on for hundreds of years, the Chinese burning offerings to the dead, and that’s what these kind of stores are for. It’s hard to understand how someone could mistake this for criminal activity.”

Although I have to say my favorite quote — which perfectly illustrates the fuckery of this whole thing — comes from Suki Lin, the wife of the arrested Mr. Mak:  Lin picked up her own Coach handbag. “It’s real,” she said, a gift from her husband. She motioned toward a cardboard bag and said, “If he gave me that bag, I’d beat him to death.”

Full NYT article here.

Thanks Andrew!

 

 

 

 

 

 

NYPD Violently Arrest Chinese Elder for Playing Music

Posted in DANGER!, For Your Consideration, fucktards, Hipster Racism, Racism Round-Up with tags , , , , on May 10, 2011 by Cbruhs

Just got wind of this incident which happened on Sunday in Columbus Park, in the heart of NYC’s Chinatown. In the video below, NYPD violently arrested a 60-year-old Chinese musician (you can clearly see blood on his face) amidst protests from the crowd of mostly Chinese seniors.

You can see the white officer also threaten an elderly man with mace and lash out with a baton screaming “Shut Up!” at the Cantonese-speaking crowd.

Unfortunately, a friend who works for A NY Asian advocacy organization told me that this latest arrest is not an isolated incident, but part of an increasing trend of harassment of Asian seniors at multiple lower Manhattan parks. Enough is enough. Please help put an end to the awful and heartbreaking police brutality of our elders by expressing your concern to the New York Public Advocate’s office here.

Although details are yet to come from NYPD, apparently they responded to a noise complaint. For years, seniors have gathered to play chess, hang out, sing and make music at Columbus Park, which is a crucial part of the community’s social and cultural fabric. As reported in Gothamist, the woman who filmed the footage said: “Maybe some of the new people who have moved into the neighborhood didn’t know the elderly come and play their instruments.” Which I interpret as: some white person who is a part of the increasing gentrification of the area took issue with the music of indigenous residents and decided the solution was to call Po-Po.

As a past renter in a building that was 95% Asian and 2 blocks up from Columbus Park, I see this response as possibly part of an increasing trend. While living in the building for several years, I watched white hipster culture vultures come and go, taking advantage of relatively cheap prices and what they likely perceived as the exotic allure of Chinatown — while showing blatant disrespect for the other (mostly elderly or extended family) tenants. Things like parking their bikes in the narrow hallways, shoving past elders in the halls and stairs, and blaring THEIR MUSIC long into the night. I don’t know how many notes I’ve taped on doors or complaints I’ve made to try and get these douchebags to realize they’re not in Williamsburg anymore, but live in an actual community where people have jobs and kids and real issues.

I’ve also experienced the unresponsiveness of cops to locals’ concerns. A couple years ago folks were worried about a repeated intruder who would come into the building late at night and lurk around the hallways. Since most units’ bathrooms were located outside of the apartment and in the hall, residents feared for their safety. Although they had already called, they asked me to contact the cops on their behalf, as one elder told me: “They hear my accent and don’t want to listen”. When I called the local precinct with very specific information on the times the intruder was seen and requested they send by a patrol car, they blithely responded: “Is the intruder in the building right now? Then sorry, we can’t send anyone over”. This from a precinct that was 1 block away. I don’t want to paint all of NYPD with the same brush, but they can do much better than this.

I also walked by Columbus Park every day, and the singing and music is friggin AWESOME and JOYFUL and draws both locals and tourists who enjoy it. If the scrooge who made the complaint doesn’t like Old Chinese People music, then DON’T MOVE TO CHINATOWN..and also get some help for that shriveled, coal-black heart.

More coverage here at Bowery Boogie.

Thanks Vanessa!

BCB Hoebag: Alexandra Wallace

Posted in AUDACITY, BCB Hoebags, Bitch please!, Douchebaggary, fucktards with tags , , , on March 14, 2011 by Cbruhs

UCLA student Alexandra Wallace, who is endowed with an inflated sense of self-importance as well as choice in bra, is the newest addition to BCB’s Top Hoebags List. Her credentials are exhibited below:

When she’s not busy rushing for Gamma Phi Beta and writing her thesis on Postmodern Feminist Behavior Amongst Hollister Employees, Alexandra likes to spend her leisure time organizing her peroxide bottles, re-applying layers of asshole-colored lip gloss, and informing the public about the most pressing issue of the day: “hordes of Asians”.

Specifically, Alexandra’s top rant is directed towards Asians on the phone in the library, going all “ching chong ling long ting tong” and checking in on their family members in the “tsunami thing” or whatnot.

As a counter-example to this atrocious Asian behavior, Alexandra describes herself as a “polite, nice American girl” whose momma obviously raised her to not only act as cultural ambassador amongst the murky, yellow-periled California college system, but to present her boobs as if they were a repository for dollar bills and apply makeup to age oneself 20 years, conveying a singular aspiration in life towards the above-referenced vocation. You’re right Alexandra, what you said does sound horrible, and so are you.

Thanks Char Char!

Update: THIS — White Girls in the Library.

Thx again DJ Char Char Binks!

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